Soldier 4 Christ

Tomorrow

2008-06-17T20:17:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow. It seems a world away as I rest my head against the pillow, yet it is closer than I think. My resolve is strong, my mind is bent: Yes, tomorrow is a day of reckoning, a day for change. But then it comes. From the land of fantasy it breaks forth into the world of my most wretched reality; the unsearchable, the unknowable is cast into the light of scrutiny, the light of the here and now, the light in which decisions must be made, no longer to be pondered or pleasantly awaited. Finally, tomorrow becomes today, and the things which burned like fire before my eyes as I closed them shut now fizzle like wet embers struggling to survive. The hope and joy of that intangible fire is squelched in the reality of what is.

In the morning, as my eyes awaken to the blaring sun, the harsh reality of tomorrow bursts forth. "Now!" it shouts, "Now!" It is relentless, yet I am slow to act. I begin to question why yesterday frightened me so, why I needed to change at all. Wasn't yesterday adequate? Wasn't I happy enough? Wasn't I comfortable? Didn't I make it through? What satisfaction could a resolution possibly give me? Oh, what hardship it would be to change!

And so as my alarm blares out its command, I struggle to find a way to silence it, to kill the conscience that is left smoldering inside. Finally, after my hand has violently torn the clock from its resting place, I am left alone in the silence I so desired. Conscious of what I have just given up, the most intimate of meetings with my Lord and Savior, I allow sleep to consume me. When I awake hours later, I arise without a word and my prayers remain unspoken. It is late, now, and the day must begin. I no longer have time for such unnecessary proceedings.

And so the day begins, and the horror continues. Every moment blares out the command, "Now! Now!" and every moment, I continue to put it aside, content to remain in the ways of yesterday. The sin and the struggles that once horrified me seem comfortable and inviting. They embrace me like old friends who console me in my time of distress. They assure me that tomorrow is the day, the day I might finally escape myself and truly live.

Tomorrow; if only it would come sooner; that chance to be who I really want to be; that inexplicable hope that things can be different, that all can be made right. If only tomorrow were today! And then I realize the horrible truth -- it is.

What will it take, Lord?

What will happen when all the tomorrows have been spent; when my life lays ruined before my eyes, and I can only lament the all too many moments I said, "Tomorrow."

I know what needs doing, Lord, but I am hesitant to do it. At least when I cast my fears and worries onto tomorrow, they seem manageable. But during the here and now, during this inescapable moment, I am overwhelmed and afraid. I don't want to let go and I am afraid to trust. I know that making such a radical decision, a decision to follow your will, will cause me incredible pain and hardship. The command feels harsh and uninviting, almost brutal, and yet while I fear my commander and his harsh voice, I know that behind such an order is a love which only one soldier can have for another.

Lord, sometimes I forget that when things inconvenience me and weigh me down throughout the day, they remain expressions of your love to me. When temptations arise or when difficulties come forth, your most Divine Will, albeit one of hardship and sacrifice, is always communicated with my own good in mind.

Lord, help me to stop interpretting your commands as suggestions. Help me to rid my heart of fear and confusion. Help me to see you, my Commander in Chief for who you really are, and help me be true to my tomorrow -- today.

A Lesson in Forgiveness

2008-06-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

The following is a popular forwarded email that really drives the fundamental message of forgiveness home. I hope that for those of you who have not yet encountered it, it helps to inspire much prayer and reflection.

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him. He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had, that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment, and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

“Lord - You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot, I don't know how. It is not fair Lord, I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray you teach me to do the one thing I cannot do: Teach me to forgive.”

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt. He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them.

He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

“Have you ever told a lie?” He asked.

The man answered – “Yes, Lord.”

“Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?”

The man answered – “Yes. Lord.” And the man sobbed more and more.

“Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?” Jesus asked.

And the man answered, “Yes, Lord.”

“Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain?”

The man, crying now, answered – “Yes, Lord.”

As Jesus asked many more times, “Have you ever?” The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer – “Yes, Lord.”

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.

Jesus said, “I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you.”

* * *

It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Redempeur

2008-06-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

A short story inspired by Dr. Faustus; written for my AP English class on November 19, 2007.

* * *

The theater was completely filled as the lights began to fade. Redempeur lifted his eyes to gaze at the high balconies to his left and to his right. As people all about him were struggling to find a last-minute seat, he took notice of the sheer scale and grandeur that made the theater so breathtakingly spectacular. Examining the balconies, he observed the lavish wealth of the upper classes who were seated there. An abundance of gold, silver, and diamonds cast glittering rays of light across the hand-strewn ceiling. As the theater lights dimmed to mere nothingness, Redempeur watched as the vivid white reflections died down into subtle shades of flaming paleness which gradually dispersed as the lights finally went out.

The darkened room suddenly grew completely silent; everyone sat completely motionless, anxiously staring at the enormous velvet curtain in front of them. Then finally, from a hidden corner of the room, a trumpet sounded, and like an enormous gate, the curtain was drawn up. A brilliant white light flooded the darkness and the show began. A myriad of robed singers approached the audience and their voices began to diverge into intricate harmonies. All throughout the audience, people looked on in amazement and wonder. Tears filled with unrestrained emotion soon began to trickle down the cheeks of men and women alike, and yet, as the song’s emotion grew more and more intense, Redempeur remained unmoved and his eyes produced no tears.

As each voice intertwined itself among the others, Redempeur began to follow its every movement. It was not long before every harmony, rhythm, and voice fell captive to his comprehension. He could predict ever note, every word, and every embellishment that would be sung next. His mind raced on, analyzing and calculating the detail which brought the music to life. Such an understanding of music was natural to Redempeur. His entire life had been spent learning the technicalities of music. He could name any pitch without assistance. He could instantly determine any interval and could resolve any chord progression that had ever been sung. The real breadth of his skill was relatively unknown, however, and his analytical approach to music was more often scoffed at than praised. To most of his fellows, Redempeur was not a genius, but rather a fool. They labeled him a fool because they observed how his rational mind could no longer be affected by the emotion of a song or be swept up in its transcendent message, and they saw this as a great loss. He could never again truly enjoy a song for what it was meant to be because he had forever doomed himself to unfolding and understanding its spiritual nature.

Redempeur had made the decision to pursue musical detail long ago because he saw it as a unique opportunity to uncover hidden truths. He had once reasoned that by solving the mystery of music he could come to understand his humanity all the more, but now as he continued to delve deeper and deeper and began to understand more and more of what he had once called mysterious, he started to realize how much less he felt certain of. His study may have provided the answers he had once sought, but it had only produced three times as many unanswered questions left to explore. His frustration had led him to reconsider many of his original assumptions, and he was resolved to seek out another way to attain the answers he hunted.

The song was approaching its final measure. Redempeur looked around him in disgust. Everyone’s eyes were fixated on the dazzling singers. Held in complete suspense by their voices, each and every person in the room appeared as if they were in a trance, their souls so caught up in these last few notes that they could not see what was just beyond their trivial feelings. There was no magic at work here; all that this music was could be derived from mathematics and science, and yet still it somehow managed to foolishly distract people from its reality. Applause erupted throughout the theater and everywhere people eagerly stood to show their appreciation for such a wonderful experience. Adjusting his collar and placing his hat on his head, Redempeur hustled his way to the rear entrance and let the door fall in place behind him, stifling the applause which continued to pour out from every side of the theater.

It was dark outside, and the alleyways were covered in thick murky shadows. A light snow had begun to fall as Redempeur made his way through the streets. He stopped at an empty corner illuminated by a pale flickering overhead streetlight. He saw his home in the distance and sighed. He could not go back there, not now. To go back home would only oblige him to uncover more unanswerable questions. He glanced to his right. Encased in a thick darkness, he took notice of an old alleyway. It was overgrown with weeds and briers of many different shapes and sizes. Yes, this was the one; the same alley whose broken pavement and uncertain destination had plagued children’s tales for as long as the town had existed. Even at Halloween time, children would play games around its entrance, daring each other to go in, and not one being brave enough to place their foot within the shadow. Redempeur looked back at his house for the last time. He knew the choice he was making could change the rest of his life, but he hoped that this time, the choice would be worthwhile. Then, with a daring first step, he walked into the shadowed alley.

Once his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, Redempeur soon realized how much wider the street actually was than it had appeared from the outside. He began to walk more confidently forward, pausing only to release his pant legs from the briers which persisted in viciously and relentlessly snagging him. After about two minutes, he arrived at the end of the alley. Along the cold rock wall, he found an old rotting wood door. After knocking twice, he tried the door on his own and found that it was more or less ajar, and so he let himself in.

The first thing Redempeur noticed about the room he entered was that it was set up very much like a doctor’s waiting room. Straight ahead of him on the opposite wall was a grey door. To the far right corner, a woman sat busily filling out some paperwork behind a sliding glass window. To his left, he also observed three vacant chairs with magazines and books on a neighboring table. Redempeur, surprised by the unexpected scene, slowly allowed the thick rotting door to close behind him. As he walked toward the glass window he took notice of two portraits hanging over the two opposing doors and eyed them curiously, almost believing that they were somehow watching him. After he had gently tapped the window, the woman looked up from her work and rolled back the window.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“I’d like to see the man in charge,” he replied.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “but there are no men who currently manage affairs here.”

“Then whom might I seek for a position of employment?”

“Employment?” she repeated. Her eyes seared through his own.

“Yes,” he replied somewhat anxiously.

“Please have a seat then. Our manager will be out momentarily.” She shut the window and, rising from her chair, disappeared into a back room. Taking the recommendation, Redempeur took a seat and began browsing through the magazines. The first thing he noticed about them was that they were all about music. As he inspected each one more carefully, he discovered that each magazine dealt with a different technical construction of music. As he began thumbing through the one on top of the pile, he quickly noticed that many of the questions which had puzzled him the most about musical construction were not only brilliantly answered but answered in such a way that made him ask how he had ever been unable to conclude the very same thing in the first place.

He had only gotten through two pages of the magazine before the silver door suddenly opened. Redempeur jumped at the sound and looked up. From behind the door emerged a rather tall man dressed in a long sleeved striped button down shirt with slacks, shoes, and a tie. What stood out most about the man was not his height or his bald head, but the color of his skin. His skin was such a dark shade of brown that Redempeur would have best described it as a charcoal black.

The man came over to Redempeur, who stood up to greet the figure, and stuck out his hand, “Hello, Redempeur, my name is Pravaturus.”

Taken aback yet again, Redempeur asked, “How do you know my name?”

“Oh, Redempeur, I know a lot about you,” he said, “Most importantly I know how brilliant you are and how much you seek to learn, not to mention your unique ability to comprehend music.”

“Who are you?” Redempeur asked in disbelief, refusing to take the handshake.

“Who am I?” the figured replied, “Why I am the one who will give you the answers you seek, Redempeur. I have the ability to give you every bit of knowledge you ever hungered for. All I need from you is a small token of commitment.”

“Name your price,” Redempeur answered, his ambition overtaking him with every passing word.

“Your pendant,” came the reply. Redempeur hesitated a moment and then turned over his right hand, exposing a small silver stone embedded below his wrist. In small lettering was carved the word KNOWLEDGE.

“My pendant?” he asked slowly.

“Your pendant,” came the request again.

Redempeur stared at his pendant. He knew what giving it up would mean. For someone to separate themselves from their pendant was to eliminate all possibility of ever making that final journey across the sea back to their homeland. Redempeur recalled his own departure on the day he had officially become an . Taken away from his mother, father, and sisters, he had been sent off to a land beyond the ocean to suffer the trials of independence for the next ten years of his life. He made the trip together with two other friends, Sodalis and Sapens, boys whom he had known all his life and who became his only comfort in the harsh reality of a new world. Before they were sent to shore, each had been given a precious stone with a single word carved into it. The word had been chosen by their parents and was significant of the virtue which they felt their child had best exhibited in his youth. They were then given instruction to guard the pendants with their very lives, for without the pendants, they could never be admitted back onto the ship that had born them hence. In order to ensure himself that he would never lose it, Redempeur had chiseled out a place below his wrist where he might store the pendant and keep it from harm.

You’ll have to take it out of course.

Redempeur looked over his left shoulder at the portrait over the silver door. Had it just spoken to him?

What about your family? Will they never be able to see you again?

His eyes darted to the right. Nothing had changed. The faces were still the same, but something was definitely speaking.

They’re not as important as the opportunity at hand. Take it.

With a burst of resolve, Redempeur tore at the skin surrounding his pendant. Desperate and oblivious to the pain, he tore the stone from its resting place. Bl00d came pouring out everywhere. Reacting quickly, the black man took the pendant in one hand and with the other, seized Redempeur’s wound. Howling from the initial pain, Redempeur felt an intense heat envelope his exposed tissues. When Pravaturus let go of his arm, Redempeur saw that his wound had been sealed shut by a third-degree burn. Still in pain, Redempeur watched as Pravaturus took the pendant and placed it on a low shelf near the unlocked wooden door.

“Shall we begin?” Pravaturus beckoned.

Redempeur nodded his head and followed the black man through the silver door without a word, still internally writhing in pain.

For the rest of his life, Redempeur lived with Pravaturus and under his direction began developing music which would not conform to any musical technique of the past. The music’s irregularity was supplemented and injected with dark emotions which had never before been so vividly expressed in song: anger, jealousy, fear, and . Spreading this new music around the world, Redempeur became the most notoriously famed songwriter in the history of mankind, and his music gave birth to a generation plagued by immoral behavior and suicidal tendencies.

It is rumored, however, that Redempeur’s bl00died body was recovered some thirty years later on a ship bound for his homeland. It is also claimed that in his hand he held a stone, but no one was ever able to identify if anything was written on it. Some say it wasn’t his body at all, but that of a disobedient slave stealing a gem. Which story is right? It is not for us to know, only to learn from.

END

Paradise Lost: Adam’s Character

2008-05-30T17:57:00.000-07:00

Here is a very brief essay written on December 5, 2007 for my English AP class. I find it important enough to post here because it discusses the relationship between emotion and reason in the Christian life.

Of note: This essay analyzes Adam and Eve in the context of Reason and Passion respectively. It is by no means to be understood in terms of gender alone; it bears no reflection of any kind of gender bias.

In Paradise Lost, Adam’s character displays leadership. It achieves this through many different aspects of his nature. First and foremost, he is a figure of authority for his wife Eve. Throughout the story, Eve constantly pledges herself to Adam’s wisdom and care. In book four, she tells him,

“My author and disposer, what thou bid’st / Unargued I obey; so God ordains, God is thy law, thou mine: to know no more / Is woman’s happiest knowledge and her praise” (Milton 4:635-638).

By subordinating herself in such a manner, Eve acknowledges Adam’s superiority in their relationship. Eve also chooses to recall how she is fundamentally “of Adam;” that she was made from his rib. Therefore, she asserts that as much as God is an authority for Adam, who was directly created by God, so must Adam be an authority for her, who was created from Adam. Adam’s leadership is therefore directly associated with God’s own authority. This idea is further understood by Adam’s unique capacity for reason, a faculty which Adam shares only with God and the angels. At the beginning of book five, he tells Eve,

“But know that in the soul / Are many lesser faculties that serve / reason as chief; among these fancy next / her office holds” (Milton 5:100-103).

By saying this, Adam alludes to Eve’s nature, once more reminding her that the intellect is superior to her passions because the intellect is guided by higher principles, namely reason. Eve’s inferior nature is more directly addressed by Milton in book 8:

“Yet went she not, as not with such discourse / Delighted, or not capable her ear / Of what was high: such pleasure she reserved, / Adam relating, she sole auditress” (Milton 8: 48-51).

Here, Eve is described as incapable of discoursing with the angels as Adam is, and is therefore more concretely established as at least somewhat inferior to her husband. However, Adam does not merely foster his superiority. Instead, he exemplifies the qualities of a true leader by using his abilities to instruct and care for Eve. Her dependence necessitates a response from Adam and so he corrects her when she errs and guides her behavior in accordance with virtue. Ultimately, he is responsible for Eve’s sin because he does not use his rational ability to correct her fault but instead abandons reason and follows her example. Only after Adam neglects the responsibility he has to his wife is the sin even recognized. The idea of Adam’s accountability for Eve’s sin is all the more reflective of his role as a leader because as a leader, he is not only responsible for his own achievements and failures, but the achievements and failures of all those under his leadership.

END

Unconventional Thought and Delay

2008-05-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

For all you literary scholars, here is an essay I wrote on November 19, 2007. It explores the "thought versus action" theme of Hamlet in a unique way, pointing out how the concept of thought is a diverse one in the work. After establishing this foundation, I continue to elaborate on the conclusions which can be drawn from what I describe as "Unconventional Thought."

Shakespeare’s Hamlet is often hailed as his greatest work. It is a masterpiece that has survived the test of time and continues to intrigue the modern reader and the contemporary scholar. For more than two hundred years, a “question of questions” (de Grazia) has immortalized the work: “Why does Hamlet delay?” The answer to this question is not a simple one word answer. Rather, it is an analysis that continues to deepen as continual study and knowledge of the human psyche develops. Ultimately, the cause of Hamlet’s delay is caused by the unconventional way of thinking which he employs throughout the text.

In her analysis of the work, Margareta de Grazia observes that finding the answer to Hamlet’s delay is “finding the answer to Hamlet’s character which is also the key to the entire play (for the play is his character)” (de Grazia). She further expands this idea by observing that “Hamlet is complete unto himself… Take away the character and precious little remains. The inverse however, is not true: take away the play, and the prince remains perfectly intact” (de Grazia). With these words, de Grazia is trying to establish the idea that finding the answer to Hamlet’s delay is not so much a chore of analyzing the plot, but rather a task of investigating Hamlet’s character, because his character is the most necessary component of the entire work. Without such a character at work, the play could never have been considered a masterpiece in the first place.

Since the 1800s, scholars everywhere have assessed Hamlet with an association to thought. Throughout the duration of the play, Hamlet is left alone on the stage talking to his self and pondering things which transcend the immediate plot. He is very much an intellectual in the sense that he is prone to rationalizing everything, yet in doing so he persists in an inactive state. For the last two hundred years, the stereotypical analysis of Hamlet’s thought suggest that thought itself is a negative; “that a man prone to thinking is incapable of acting, and proportionally: the more he thinks, the less he acts” (de Grazia). This notion, however, betrays how unconventional Hamlet’s way of thinking truly is.

In Act IV, Hamlet asks the question, “What is a man?” (4.4.33), and this question resonates in every aspect of the way Hamlet thinks. Eric Levy answers the question by offering the traditional understanding of man: “As a rational animal, a man is one who thinks. But the play problematizes the proper exercise of thought by which man sustains this identity” (Levy). Here, Levy mentions that the “proper exercise of thought” is not present in Hamlet’s own application of thought, and that, as a result, his very identity is brought into question. Levy continues by admitting that “at the core of this analysis is a reinterpretation of the relation between reason and the individual exercising it” (Levy). The fundamental concern in the understanding of Hamlet’s delay, then, is understanding how this new relationship between thought and the thinker is brought about through an unconventional line of thought.

According to the Aristotelian-Thomist tradition, man’s very nature and principal characteristic involves his ability to reason. Man is subsequently defined not in uniqueness but through a common function. In the famous instruction Polonius gives his son, “To thine own self be true” (1.3.82), he demands faithfulness to a general principal, calling particular attention to the core of selfhood which is in fact universal reason. Hamlet, however, does not comply with this universal reason. To him, thought is not universal; instead its defining attributes work differently in every individual, as he expresses in his judgment of Denmark: “for there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison” (2.2.265-266). In this approach to thought, Hamlet introduces an element of subjectivity and relativity from which certain consequential problems arise. His own reference to thought as a prison reveals how, if an individual is confined to his own manner of thinking and therefore not part of a universal exercise of thought, he becomes vulnerable to the products of his own mentality: products such as dreams and hallucinations not unlike what Hamlet himself experiences (Levy).

Levy also highlights the fundamental crisis of identity which results from Hamlet’s manner of thinking: “the [conventional thinker], through emphasis on the general principle, prevents awareness of distinct individuality, while the [unconventional thinker], through emphasis on private preoccupations, threatens to trap individuality within the limits of its own concerns” (Levy). Hamlet’s overwhelming intellectual emphasis on his own individual concerns keeps him from employing his thought for the sake of reason. Instead, he continues to analyze his situation only in the circumstances provided. This analysis, secluded from the objective universal conception of thought itself, leads him to question the very basis of thought and what it means. He therefore becomes imprisoned in and through his own approach to thought (Levy).

In Hamlet, a theme of thought as the modification of the individual prevails. This modification is a direct result of Hamlet’s subjective way of thinking, “for in so far as individual identity… is determined by the rational faculty, how one thinks will modify who he or she is. Just as circumstances influence thought, so thought conditions individuality” (Levy). This, in its most basic sense, means that if individual conditions make thought what it is, then thought, which determines identity through reason, will actually modify the individual based on the conditions. This, consequently, explains why, in the end, Hamlet chooses “to be” (3.1.66), because he “recognizes the need to retain control over the movement of thought” (Levy). In this sense, thought makes life worth living.

Hamlet’s identity, however, is not only continually modified and controlled, it is contradictory. He uses thought to understand identity, yet he also uses thought, disguised as madness, to exempt him from identity as well (Levy): “Was’t Hamlet wronged Laertes? Never Hamlet. If Hamlet from himself be ta’en away” (5.2.234-235). Hamlet is therefore constantly in conflict with his own identity, and therefore it is more understandable that he would not act; for if his own manner of thinking could so imprison, detain, and confuse him, then it is obvious that his process of thought is flawed. Thought no longer discovers truth and employs action; it redirects thought to further thought in a vicious cycle whose end is merely to rationalize particular circumstances. Thought as a universal concept can be used to achieve answers and establish ground for further questioning, but thought as a subjective and relative concept can only lead to continual contradiction and reexamination of what has been previously examined, because no thought can be entirely dependant of the individual, and as a subject concept, thought necessarily integrates feeling and emotion.

The integration of emotion in a subjectivity of thought is best understood when Hamlet’s character is compared to Horatio’s. Horatio is a man with no emotion in his thought. As a skeptic, he is inclined to doubt until evidence of truth is apparent. Horatio, unlike Hamlet, is a man who employs the “proper exercise of thought” (de Grazia). Vince Escanler observes:

As Hamlet descends into his feigned madness and falls victim to his powerful emotions, Horatio serves primarily to emphasize Hamlet's weaknesses. As Hamlet's antic disposition becomes increasingly real, Horatio is his only anchor to reality, as a "man that is not passion's slave" (III, 2, 74). Being "e'en as just a man / As e'er [Hamlet's] conversation cop'd withal" (III, 2, 56), Hamlet relies increasingly on Horatio, depending on him to confirm Hamlet's observations of the king during the play scene, clouded by thoughts of revenge and conflicting feelings of anger, hatred and uncertainty. Horatio serves as Hamlet's sober second thought when Hamlet can no longer care for himself (Escanler).

Hamlet’s increased dependence upon Horatio, the persona of thought’s “proper exercise” helps explain just how utterly Hamlet’s unconventional way of thinking fails his purposes. The more and more Hamlet tries to think in this way, the more and more emotion, frustration, and helplessness overtake him. He cannot sustain himself by thinking in this way so he relies on Horatio to act as his “sober second” (Escanler); a lifeline to bear him out from the depths of the subjectivity in which he is drowning.

It is clear from this analysis that thought in general is not responsible for Hamlet’s delay. Hamlet’s unconventional manner of thinking is completely different and opposed to the traditional Aristotelian-Thomist understanding of thought. For this reason, an analyst cannot easily condemn the thoughts of Hamlet and label it the condemnation of thought in general. To condemn thought in general would be to condemn Horatio’s character as well, which would surely be an offense to the work as Horatio is one of the only characters to survive the climactic scene. Instead, the reader must be sure to understand that Hamlet, as a modern subjective thinker, delays in his task because of his own subjective approach to thought.

Works Cited

de Grazia, Margreta. "Hamlet’s Thoughts and Antics." Early Modern Culture. 2001. Early Modern Culture. 18 Nov. 2007 .

Escanlar, Vincent Paul. "Foils in Hamlet." Yahoo! Geocities. 2002. 18 Nov. 2007 .

Levy, Eric P. "The Mind of Man in Hamlet." BNET Research Center. 2002. Marquette University. 18 Nov. 2007 .

Shakespeare, William. The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. New York: Washington Square Press, 1958.

END

New Pledge of Allegiance

2008-05-22T21:35:00.000-07:00

Normally, I wouldn't post things like this because of their shallow whimsical quality, but this somewhat clunky poem struck me. In my experience of public schools, I found it to be scarily accurate and disturbingly familiar to what this student from Arizona described. Here it is:

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offense; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state…

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's "inappropriate" to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such "judgments" do not belong.

We can get our s and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns the school's a mess.
So, Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen.

A Course of Action

2008-05-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

A satirical piece written January 18, 2008 concerning Education and Euthanasia which was inspired by Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal.

* * *

FOR PREVENTING NEGLIGENCE AND INCOMPETENCE WITHIN THE NATION’S EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM, AND FOR ASSURING THE EDUCATIONAL SUCCESS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

It is a sobering sight for those students who, while walking the halls of their respective high schools, observe the absence of individuals only recently having made the decision to discontinue their educational pursuits. Also troubling to these students are the colleagues who, after completing a course, are required to take it again due to the failure of such individuals to adequately apply themselves and master the subject matter they are presented with. These students, who so eagerly dedicate their time to pursuing the knowledge and wisdom available to them by means of their education, are often victimized by the negligence of their peers. This negligence bears forth further unnecessary work designed to aid the less intelligent and the negligent in an effort to improve the prospects of all involved, but in the effort to improve the fortune of the undeserved, the deserved are compromised. With the prescription for additional work, responsible students are forced to take time out of their other courses and activities in order to accommodate the additional requirements of their education. What little time they had to themselves and to their well-being is devoured by the stress of not only having to excel in their original courses but to prove their proficiency in an unnecessary and unfitting manner. Often it is the case that these same students who were once the brightest and best among their peers find their lives so dangerously unbalanced that they resort to hazardous methods of restructuring their lives. It is not unusual to find these students so overwhelmed that they develop addictions to , alcohol, smoking, and even the excessive exploitation of ography in order to help deal with their sudden increased levels of anxiety, while all the while becoming distracted from the studies to which they had only previously been so faithfully perseverant.

I think it is agreed by all parties that this present state of affairs, especially with regard to the aftermath resulting from the No Child Left Behind Act, is not only a deplorable situation, but an unhealthy approach to solving the problem of low performance in schools because it serves to harm those who work hard to benefit their school, community, and country. Whoever might find a solution to reversing the effects of such a harmful and damaging Congressional Act and eliminate the need for such a program to exist would deserve such an honor as to be nationally recognized as a hero.

Be it known that my intention in writing is far from resolving a secluded issue. Rather, my objective here is to suggest a method of insuring the success of education as a whole and to insure that it performs at its ultimate capacity, enabling it to become what it is truly meant to be: the opportunity for students to learn and comprehend their usefulness to society and how best to develop that usefulness in a world of competing ideas and practices.

As for myself, I have spent an immeasurable number of hours on the subject and I find it to be of the utmost importance, not only to our current situation, but to the future of our great nation. As I have many times maturely considered the thoughts of others in regards to this matter and the solutions which have been previously proposed and executed, I cannot help but find them grossly in error and very much incapable of solving the problem, and I am assured by a number of teachers and school administrators that the problem is almost exclusively limited to the work ethic of a fair number of students who willfully and consistently choose to evade the responsibility of maintaining a passing grade in their courses. This pattern of behavior can be so detrimental that it can even reportedly corrupt the studious nature of their friends.

Hence, I shall now offer my own humble thoughts with regards to the matter, which I anticipate, at the end of this publication, will not be met with even the slightest objection.

I have been assured by an esteemed colleague who received a doctorate in Mathematics that the problem is fundamentally a problem of statistics and that if the government were to employ a method of altering those statistics that the foundation of the problem would altogether disappear. I propose, therefore, that the government begin to issue an annual standard of proficiency which, if left unmet, will be cause for an immediate and involuntary act of euthanasia upon the student. If a particular student were to fail a curriculum, to be found unduly lax in his efforts, or even to discontinue his studies altogether would be assigned to a proficiency test which would be the deciding factor as to whether or not the student merited a final termination. An exception to this principal would be made for those select students who, given their outstanding abilities, have been enrolled in an Honors or AP curriculum. These students may still be susceptible to the same proficiency examination but only after the failure to maintain a fifty percent average, equivalent to a passing grade in a normal course. If, after taking the proficiency examination, the student were to prove himself capable and willing of further education, the student may be allowed to resume his studies after receiving a brand which will thenceforth mark him as a questionable student and will require him to be closely monitored by an assigned administrator. Those students who fail the test should be euthanized in the most abrupt and humane way available so as to eliminate as quickly as possible any influence they might have on the other students.

I think that the advantages of such a proposal as the one outlined above are both palpable in quality and numerous in quantity, as well as of the utmost importance to the success of education, especially insofar as they outweigh every of the advantages offered by any other solution thus far. First and foremost, such a policy would serve to reverse and eventually eliminate the need for patches and quick-fixes that have been proven to produce more harm than good. The No Child Left Behind Act and all similar acts which currently serve to restrict the true possibility of education could be quickly and enthusiastically revoked. Without students continuing to fail classes or drop out of school, there would be no need for a program to ensure that every student graduates from high school.

Secondly, the fear and reality of such a program would encourage a renewed work effort and academic growth among those who have the potential to succeed but continue to be negligent in their studies. Those who are euthanized will serve as examples to those who refuse to abandon their indifference and will inspire a greater need to establish good study habits and retain the material which is taught in class.

Thirdly, as a result of an increased effort in schooling, more young men and women will have their eyes opened to the possibilities that await them in college and beyond. Students will gain back the imagination and the dream which so many Americans have long since abandoned out of hopelessness and despair. Each student will be able to start his life with the confidence that an education has afforded him.

Fourthly, this policy of euthanasia will help control the population growth in urban settings where overcrowded schools often give way to resistant students. This reduction will also help to minimize crime and undermine much of the which results from overcrowding and the poor conditions synonymous with urban ghettos. Fifthly, parents would be much more likely to become involved with their children’s education in order to assure that they are passing each course and so as to avoid the tragic alternative and the of losing a child to something so preventable. This will help increase family relationships and strengthen the bonds of love between parents and their children, bonds which are so easily severed during the stormy teenage years.

Of course, many other advantages might be enumerated here, but I choose to omit the others because I am conscious of the need for tact and brevity.

What I most desire the reader to observe is that the solution described herein is for this nation and for no other that ever was, is, or may be believed to come about. Therefore let no man come forward with any other expedients: of limiting government control or of removing the governmental influence entirely: of establishing specialized platforms of study: of personalizing proficiencies based on ability: of promoting encouragement and positive incentives: of using varied and hands-on techniques for those who need it most: lastly, of encouraging personal growth and responsibility by allowing for failure. Therefore, I choose to reiterate, let no man approach this proposal with such alternatives until he has hope enough to honestly believe he can put them into practice.

The proposal, as I have described it here, I find to be both solid and real, of little cost and of minimal trouble as compared to every other solution so far attempted. Yet let it be known that I am not so narrowly focused on my own thoughts and opinions so as to violently oppose the offer of a wise man which would prove to be as easy, cheap, and effectual as my own proposal.

I acknowledge, from the depths of my being and my very soul that this course of action which I have presented herein has naught but the national interest as its motivation. By this proposition, I have no personal interest to gain, and I assure the reader that my endeavors as described in this publication serve only to express a solution to one of the more troubling concerns which our country currently faces.

EXPLANATORY NOTE

The purpose of this satirical work is to inspire the reader with a question as to why it is, in fact, wrong for the government to allow for euthanasia if it will most successfully benefit the nation. This question should lead the reader to the obvious answer: because life is not lived solely for a government’s benefit. This is a belief that is at the core of American ideals. Therefore the reader should also develop the conclusion that, education, which is arguably the ability to live life to its potential, should not be limited to or entirely controlled by government regulation.

END

Homemade Brownies

2008-05-21T11:19:00.001-07:00

Hello, everyone! It's me.

I'd like to thank all of you who have been praying for me. You are such a blessing, especially in these times when the twenty-four hours in a day aren't enough. Between trying to graduate high school, balancing after-school activities, getting into college, applying for scholarships, and dealing with hardships in my spiritual life, I've been too busy to attend to this, my prayerful escape from the world.

But now, as I prepare to graduate Westerly High School and soon begin another chapter of my life at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio, I find myself experiencing a little down-time, the perfect moment to begin posting some of the work I've been doing and getting back into a more regular posting routine.

In the meantime, I wanted to share a truly meaningful email which my mother forwarded to me. It has a wonderful lesson which I've been struggling to learn lately. It's entitled "Homemade Brownies."

Last week, I walked into my office to find a sandwich bag on my desk containing three chewy, tasty, homemade chocolate brownies. Some thoughtful and anonymous person who knew my love for tasty homemade brownies had placed them there, along with a hand written short story.
I immediately sat down and began eating the first chewy, tasty, homemade brownie as I read the following story:

Two teenagers asked their father if they could go the theater to watch a movie that all their friends had seen. After reading some reviews about the movie on the Internet, he denied their request.

"Come on dad, why not?" They complained, "The movie is rated PG-13, and we are both older than thirteen!

Dad replied, "Because that movie contains nud1ty and portrays immorality as being normal and acceptable behavior."

"But dad, those are just very small parts of the movie! That's what our friends who've seen it have told us. The movie is two hours long and those scenes are just a few minutes of the total film! It's based on a true story and good triumphs over evil, and there are other redeeming
themes like courage and self-sacrifice. Even the movie review websites say that!"

"My answer is no and that is my final answer. You are welcome to stay home tonight, invite some of your friends over, and watch one of the good vid eos we have in our home collection. But you will not go and watch that film. End of discussion."

The two teenagers walked dejectedly into the family room and slumped down on the couch. As they sulked, they were surprised to hear the sounds of their father preparing something in the kitchen. They soon recognized the wonderful aroma of brownies baking in the oven, and one
of the teenagers said to the other, "Dad must be feeling guilty, and now he's going to try to make it up to us with some fresh brownies. Maybe we can soften him with lots of praise when he brings them out to us and persuade him to let us go to the movie he refused to let us see."

About that time I began eating the second brownie from the sandwich bag and wondered if there was some connection to the brownies I was eating and the brownies in the story. I kept reading...

The teens were not disappointed. Soon their father appeared with a plate of warm brownies, which he offered to his kids. They each took one. Then their father said, "Before you eat, I want to tell you something: I love you both so much."

The teenagers smiled at each other with knowing glances. Dad was softening.

"That is why I've made these brownies with the very best ingredients. I've made them from scratch. Most of the ingredients are even organic."

"The best organic flour. The best free-range eggs. The best organic sugar. Premium vanilla and chocolate."

The brownies looked mouth-watering, and the teens began to become a little impatient with their dad's long speech.

"But I want to be perfectly honest with you. There is one ingredient I added that is not usually found in brownies. I got that ingredient from our own back yard But you don't need to worry, because I o nly added the tiniest bit of that ingredient to you r brownies. The amount of the portion is practically insignificant. So go ahead, take a bite and let me know what you think."

"Dad, would you mind telling us what that mystery ingredient is before we eat?"

"Why? The portion I added was so small. Just a teaspoonful. You won't even taste it."

"Come on, dad; just tell us what that ingredient is." "Don't worry! It is organic, just like the other ingredients."

"Dad!"

"Well, OK, if you insist That secret ingredient is fresh organic...dog p00p."

I immediately stopped chewing that second brownie and I spit it out into the wastebasket by my desk. I continued reading, now fearful of the paragraphs that still remained.

Both teens instantly dropped their brownies back on the plate and began inspecting their fingers with horror.

"DAD! Why did you do that? You've d us by making us smell those brownies cooking for the last half hour, and now you tell us that you added dog p00p! We can't eat these brownies!"

"Why not? The amount of dog poop is very small compared to the rest of the ingredients It won't hurt you. It's been cooked right along with the other ingredient s. You won't even taste it. It has the same consistency as the brownies. Go ahead and eat!"

"No, Dad...NEVER!"

"And that is the same reason I won't allow you to go watch that movie. You won't tolerate a little dog p00p in your brownies, so why should you tolerate a little immorality in your movies? We pray that God will not lead us unto temptation, so how can we in good conscience entertain ourselves with something that will imprint a sinful image in our minds that will lead us into temptation long after we first see it?"

I discarded what remained of the second brownie as well as the entire untouched third brownie. What had been irresistible a minute go had become detestable. And only because of the very slim chance that what I was eating was slightly polluted. (Surely it wasn't...but I couldn't convince myself.)

What a good lesson about purity! Why do we tolerate any sin? On the day of the Passover, the Israelites were commanded to remove every bit of leaven from their homes. Sin is like leaven or yeast - a little bit makes the whole bowl of dough rise.

(1Corinthians 5:6, 7) Faith and sin don't mix.

Love Can Persevere Without the Pill

2008-04-07T12:25:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest ironies of our culture today is the issue of birth control. As a nation, we’re no strangers to sex; it’s in movies, in music, in television, in newspapers, in magazines, and in nearly every conversation of a high-school student. Although this might suggest sex is just another everyday reality, that’s simply not true. No one will ever admit sex is on par with going to school. No one will ever admit that sex is “just part of the day’s routine.” No, indeed. There’s something meaningful and inexplicably mysterious about sex.

For many, sex is considered the ultimate act of love, and in a certain sense that is very true. Despite this, people continue to promulgate the use of birth control and “safe sex.” Here’s the irony: if sex is the ultimate act of love, what need is there for “protection?” If you have to literally safeguard yourself against your partner, how can you call it a loving act? It sounds more like a declaration of war.

Jason Evert, a prominent chastity speaker, says it well, “You protect yourself from enemies. You receive your beloved without reserve. If you aren't married and ready to receive that person fully, then it's not time to give him or her your body. We weren't designed to be given in pieces.” “There's no condom for your heart.”

Birth control doesn’t only fall apart logically; it also contradicts medical practices. John Wilks, a pharmacist, noted that “It is the only time in medicine when potent drugs are given to a healthy person who then becomes sicker than they were before they started using the drug.” Girls, did your doctors ever tell you that birth control, even if taken for reasons other than sex, is actually harming your body?

Low-close birth control pills contain steroid hormones that are a thousand times more powerful than any natural hormone in a woman’s body. The Consumer’s Guide to the Pill and Other Drugs states that “Early-age use of the Pill carries a greater risk of breast cancer, of developing larger tumors and having a worse prognosis.” Studies also show that “the risk of breast cancer is two to four times higher for women less than nineteen years of age who use the Pill compared to women twenty to twenty-four years old.

Besides the increased risk of breast cancer, the Pill’s potential side effects include moodiness, weight gain, increased blood pressure, gall bladder disease, liver tumors, reduced blood levels of essential vitamins, and the development of depressive personality changes. Several studies indicate an increased risk in contracting HIV. The risk of stroke is five times higher for Pill users as compared to non-Pill users, and the risk of heart attack is three times as high.

More than anything, it harms a woman's immune system and decreases her ability to fight off venereal infections. Over one thousand women die each year in the United States from using the birth control pill.

Condoms are also deceiving. A review from the National Institutes for Health was unable to prove that condoms reduce the risk of herpe, trichomonas, Chlamydia, chancroid, and syphilis. Furthermore, doctors consider a condom useless in preventing HPV (www.niaid.nih.gov/dmid/stds/condomreport.pdf). Together, these STDs account for over ten million infections each year. Sounds like real “safe sex,” don’t you think?

No birth control method is 100% effective either. According to the Westside Pregnancy Resource Center, “For women under twenty-two years of age, the birth control pill has a 4.7% failure rate in preventing pregnancy.” Furthermore, 20% of sexually active Pill users between the ages of twelve and eighteen become pregnant over the course of six months!

Even the condom’s effectiveness as a birth control device is ove . Most people believe the lie that condom has a 99% effectiveness rate in preventing pregnancy. However, what most people aren’t told is that the condom’s typical failure rate in preventing pregnancies among people aged fifteen to twenty-four is 18.4%. Even the ideal use of a condom leaves a 2 to 3 percent failure rate.

So what’s 100% effective? Hopefully, that’s a stupid question. If you really love someone, why not think about their health before you worry about getting what you want from them?

Here’s another thought: if “unprotected” sex is the truest form of sex, then the possibility of life from sex must be an integral part of its meaning. Sometimes we get so caught up in the idea of gratification that we forget the power that’s behind sex: it’s the very cooperation necessary to bring life into the world. That’s a power that no amount of hormones or latex can ever completely destroy. By trying to subdue this power, we destroy the power of a sexual union: if one’s preoccupation lies with not getting pregnant, she can never giver herself to her partner completely.

Jason Evert comments: “The consequences of birth control clearly demonstrate an unhealthy, anti-culture and anti-life, impact that raises major ethical concerns. Use of birth control is like intentionally eating unhealthy, nutritionless food just for the pleasure of eating. A steady diet will kill you. In much the same way, a steady diet of birth control kills relationships.”

Practicing abstinence outside of marriage is not merely the only way to be sure you don’t get pregnant; it’s the surest way to let your significant other know just how much you love them: “I love you so much that I am willing to control my desires for your own good.” Although this may not come across as the most affectionate expression, it is the most sincere, and if your partner really loves you, they will recognize how much character it takes to say that.

The Rain

2008-03-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

It's raining out.

All around me I catch glimpses of those moments I never want to experience. They are moments that threaten hopelessness and despair, that tear at my very soul. They are moments that make me question myself again and again. They are moments that keep me inside my shelter, inside my place of refuge. They are moments I pray I will never have to endure.

But then comes that still, small voice amidst the darkened raindrops: "Follow me."

It is almost unrecognizable. I strain all my senses just to make out what it is. The rain begins to beat harder against the windshield as its deafening roar overwhelms the voice. I tremble at the thought of what has just been asked of me. The voice comes again, this time from somewhere inside myself, "Follow Me." I tremble once more, yet it is neither because of the rain nor because of the request. I recognize the voice now, yet it is distant and far away, much further than I have ever experienced it before, and as You, my Redeemer, beckon me to yourself, I continue to tremble.

For months now I have felt you slip away; I have watched as my love for you is consumed in someone else. I have watched with little concern as I have compromised little by little the things you have asked of me and the pledges I have made to you. I have grown distracted by a new and intriguing love, one which is steadily drifting away from you.

I know what I must do, Lord, yet I hesitate all the more. I love her like I have never loved anyone else. I don't remember life without her. She means so much to me... how could I leave her? How could you ask me to leave her? How can we abandon each other to the rain?

"If you truly love her, you will follow me. If you love me, you will endure the rain."

It is hard, Lord. What you ask of me is no easy task. What you ask will radically change my life. Not only will I lose her, but I may very well lose my friends and the respect of many who are close to her. Is it worth it, Lord? Are You worth it?

The rain continues to pour as she sits beside me. Her eyes glisten with a beauty I could only ever dream of holding, yet my soul is unusually restless. The choice is set before me. It is now I that I must act. With all that I am, I bend my will to speak the words that will not come forth. I try a second time and then a third. Finally, and with much agony, I bring myself to say the words I never dreamed I'd speak, and in that instant, two worlds are shattered as the rain comes pouring in.

I hold her for a while longer and her tears mingle with the rain. They drench me with a wordless request. They beg me to come back to her. They promise me that things will change. I raise my eyes amidst the tears, but the rain begins to confuse me. I begin to question what I am doing. Where are you, O Lord? What should I do? "Keep your eyes on me and I will not forsake you." Where are you? "I am here. Follow me." With what strength I have left, I steady my gaze and persevere amidst the tears. The rain falls like daggers, each one shredding my very being. The tears seem as if they will never end, and with all the strength I have left, I withhold my own.

Time passes, and after I have held for nearly an hour, she finally opens the door. The rain has passed and she slowly removes herself from the car. I close my eyes as she closes the door behind her. The sound is like a thunderclap in my mind and it strikes fast and true. As I watch her walk away, I allow myself to cry and the rain begins to fall once more. I know in my heart that I have lost something wonderfully precious, something that I may never rightly replace, and in the midst of darkness, tears, and grief, I plead aloud. Is this truly your will? Can there be some other way?

I am answered with silence, but truthfully, I need no answer. I know that even amidst the pain this is your plan for me; that this is a necessary sacrifice which I must forgo to do your will in my life.

"If you desire the purity you have asked for, you must do your part. Pick up your cross and follow me."

"For I am no stranger to rain, my son. I know what you are feeling. As I laid stretched between heaven and earth for your soul, rain fell over me as well. As I prayed in the garden, I felt the same fear. As my flesh was torn from my body, I experienced such rejection as you may; and as they nailed my hands to the cross, I knew the truest meaning of misunderstanding. Trust me now and rest your head on my side."

"Know this: that the rain which now causes you to suffer is the very water of your baptism, the symbol of my persistent and confrontational love. Only in the cross can love's strength be tested. Only in tears can the love's hardship be appreciated. Only in the rain can the love's meaning be truly understood."

From the Archives: The God-Man

2008-02-25T12:09:00.000-08:00

Another classic brought forth from the vaults! Originally written on January 6, 2006, this theological essay explains the Church’s teaching that Jesus Christ is both true God and true man: a great mystery to ponder during this Lenten Season.

The Catholic Church’s teaching holds that Jesus Christ became the Incarnate Word of God, that is to say he is both true God and true man. Throughout the entire history of the Church, this truth has been disputed and argued over by countless individuals. In a wonderful tribute to her wisdom, the Church has never wavered in conserving the truth of Christ’s two natures.

The earliest heresies denied Christ’s true humanity. Then, Paul of Samosata erroneously taught that Christ was the adopted Son of God. Arius also wrongly taught that Christ “came to be from things that were not” and that he was “from another substance” than that of the Father. The Nestorian heresy believed Christ to be a human person who was joined to the divine person. The Monophysites declared that that the human nature was destroyed when the divine person of God’s Son assumed it. Others also disputed the Christ bore human suffering. Even to this day, there are still many heresies regarding Christ’s two natures.

The Church professes that Jesus Christ is the second person of the Holy Trinity; the Son of God. This second person assumed a human nature while remaining true God but also becoming true man, so that he was not part God and part man but a union of two complete natures. Christ’s human nature, as his own, belongs to the divine nature of the second person of the Holy Trinity which assumed it. This is to say that it was not a human nature which assumed the divine, but a divine nature which assumed humanity. Christ’s human will did not oppose his divine will but rather submitted all in human obedience to his divine nature.

Even this being true, the divine nature did not control his human nature. Christ had a human soul and authentic human knowledge both of which were finite, existing within the constraints of time and space. Christ’s human nature was as ours is. His body was truly real. His human soul experienced suffering, dea+h, emotion, temptation, pleasure, and friendship; everything but sin. Although this human nature was exactly akin to our own, it had the privilege of expressing the life of his divine personhood, not by itself, but through its union with the Word.

Even after the longest and most detailed explanation of the Incarnation, it will be quite impossible for us to completely understand it. Human perception is finite. There are many things we cannot understand or grasp. The mind can only concretely perceive that which is born of its “mother” nature and its “father” time. In mathematics, for example, we have many things known as primitive terms which could never be exactly defined. Such a term is the point. The point is a location which has no size. Although this concept appears utterly impossible, it forms the very cornerstone on which the whole of mathematics rests. In a way it is “rationally necessary”.

At this point, I believe it prudent to ask, was the incarnation “rationally necessary”? Was there a need for a God-man? The answer, of course, is yes.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God; all things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1-5)

When our first parents disobeyed God, they lost their perfect union with Him. Now there was no way for men, who had willingly chosen sin, to come back into the perfection of God. It was, by the laws of justice, the duty of humanity to atone for their disobedience, but it could never be achieved by any man alone because his offence was of an infinite nature, and he bore a finite nature.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father. (John 1:14)

And so, God in His infinite Love sent his Son as a God-man to die in atonement for the sins which all of humanity bore. In this way his human dea+h, perfectly united to his infinitely divine nature would offer the necessary reparation and would allow men to again come into the perfection and infinite goodness of God’s presence. Physical dea+h, the consequence of original sin, is still ours to bear, but Christ has freed us from the eternal separation to which we doomed ourselves by rejecting God’s Love.

The Incarnation is very much alike to the concept of the point in mathematics. It may seem objectively impossible, but even so, its truth is the cornerstone of not only our faith, but our very means of salvation.

END

From the Archives: The Four Senses

2008-02-20T12:31:00.000-08:00

While we're on the subject of Sacred Scripture, here's another essay that may provide additional insight. It was written on December 15, 2005.
According to ancient tradition, the Church has held Scripture to be of two primary senses: the literal and the spiritual. The spiritual sense is threefold, subdivided into allegorical, moral, and anagogical senses.

When we read Scripture of the literal sense we read it literally, as one would read a history book. The literal sense presents us with actual historical events and also presents us with spoken words whose meaning is to be directly and exactly understood through literal translation.

An example of the literal interpretation of historic facts is shown best through the many events of Christ’s Passion as recorded by all four of the Evangelists.

John 6:51-56 gives an example of the literal interpretation of Christ’s words:

I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh."
The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his , you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my abides in me, and I in him.

The spiritual sense of Scripture is not always to be interpreted literally. Instead, its events and quotations are given to us as signs and symbols of reality.

The allegorical sense of Scripture is a means for us to acquire a greater understanding of the significance that certain events hold. Much of the Old Testament is made up of various allegories which allude to Christ, his , and his plan of salvation through the Church.

One of the allegories of Christ’s and man’s redemption is found in Numbers 21: 6-9:

Then the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people, so that many people of Israel died. And the people came to Moses, and said, "We have sinned, for we have spoken against the LORD and against you; pray to the LORD, that he take away the serpents from us." So Moses prayed for the people. And the LORD said to Moses, "Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and every one who is bitten, when he sees it, shall live." So Moses made a bronze serpent, and set it on a pole; and if a serpent bit any man, he would look at the bronze serpent and live.

Another example of the allegorical sense is found in the words of Isaiah 53: 7:

He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb, so he opened not his mouth.

The moral sense of Scripture is strictly those events that instruct us to act justly. An example of this moral sense is given in the parables found in Matthew Chapter 13. Verses 44-50 are recorded here:

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net which was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind; when it was full, men drew it ashore and sat down and sorted the good into vessels but threw away the bad. So it will be at the close of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous, and throw them into the furnace of fire; there men will weep and gnash their teeth.

The last sense of Scripture, the anagogical sense, chronicles true events, but also contains an eternal significance. The historical events recorded in this sense take upon themselves a more wholesome and complete meaning beyond the constraints of time. An example is given throughout the entire Old Testament of God bringing his people Israel out of and leading them to their own land. In its anagogical sense, Israel becomes God’s family, the Church, and their destination becomes heaven. God’s word to Moses in Exodus 3: 7-9 later takes on a deeper meaning in the Church:

Then the LORD said, "I have seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters; I know their sufferings, 8 and I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land to a good and broad land, a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites. 9 And now, behold, the cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them.

The words of Scripture, therefore are never absent of meaning. Throughout the whole of Scripture, these four senses have been delicately interwoven by God himself, so that he might give us the greatest story of all: that of His undying and abundant Love.

END

From the Archives: The Audiences of the Gospels

2008-02-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

This essay was written on January 25, 2006 for Sophomore Theology. It assesses the different audiences which Matthew and Mark wrote for. It's short, but you might just be able to learn something. I know I did.

The New Testament Gospels are the climax of the whole of Sacred Scripture; the fulfillment of Divine Revelation. Their author, who is the Holy Spirit, binds them together in a unity which is expressed perfectly through the testimony of the life of our Divine Savior, Jesus Christ. The writers of these Gospels were inspired by the Holy Spirit in both the story which they recorded and the message each conveyed to their particular audiences. In this way, God’s plan of redemption is spread to all peoples in order to create a unity within his Body, the Church.

The first writer, St. Matthew, directed his Gospel toward the Jews. Through it, he hoped to prove to the Jews that Jesus who they had put to was indeed the Messiah they had been waiting for. He traces Jesus’ heritage from Abraham through David in order to show that he belonged to the royal line and was therefore the rightful King of the Jews. He seeks to prove that the temporal kingdom the Jews believed the Messiah would bring was in fact a spiritual kingdom, and he makes reference to Christ establishing the “Kingdom of Heaven” throughout his account. Throughout the Gospel, he makes parallels between the Old Testament’s Messianic Prophecies and their fulfillment in the actions of Christ.

The second writer, St. Mark, directed his Gospel towards the Romans. The Romans, who all but worshiped Rome and her conquests, admired only those men who were great workers, conquerors, or organizers. This, then, was the objective of St. Mark; to illustrate Christ as the “Lord of All”. St. Mark shows by Jesus’ great works and miracles that He far surpassed any of the men of Rome. He also illustrated Christ’s Passion and in such a way that it gave a deep impression of his almighty power. St. Mark also writes his Gospel in a fast pace so as to give the impression of both efficiency and organization. Many of the phrases he uses also allude to the power of the “Victor”.

Both of these inspired writers wrote the same story concerning the life of Christ, yet each theme is altered so as to more effectively spread the Good News and bring about the dominion of the Kingdom of God.

END

From the Archives: Miracles of the Mission

2008-02-18T19:33:00.000-08:00

As Lent continues, Soldier 4 Christ is breaking open the Archives once more in order to rediscover what God is trying to communicate during this holy season. The following is a theology essay written two years ago on March 1, 2006 during my Sophomore Year of High School:

During His time on earth, Jesus Christ was many things. He was a son, born of a mother. He was a teacher who “spoke with authority”. He was a healer. He was a peacemaker. He was a friend. He came as a king upon the coming of his kingdom. He came as a bridegroom awaiting his bride. He came as the servant of God, the redeemer of Adam’s sin, and the Bread of Life to be broken unto the end of the world.

In all these things, Christ was a miracle-worker. Through His incarnation, He took upon himself a human nature perfectly united to His divine nature. As the divine teacher, he was Truth itself. His healing work not only cured the incurable, but also forgave sins. His friendship with His disciples endowed them with the power to perform wonders with the whisper of His name. By His on the cross, He redeemed us of the sins we could not save ourselves from. In His establishment of the Eucharist, the substances of bread and wine are changed into His very body, , soul, and divinity without the alteration of their appearances. All these achievements are of a super-natural order. By himself, no man could ever hope to achieve any of them.

It is fitting that this should be so. Christ’s mission on earth was to bring to mankind the fullness of Revelation; to proclaim the coming of the kingdom of God. The countless public and hidden miracles of Our Savior’s life give testimony to this mission, while revealing to us His Divine Personhood so that we might know who He is.

Throughout nearly the entire Gospel, the evangelists recall how, as Christ performed his miracles, many were led to believe in him:

25 And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea…. 28 And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water." 29 He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; …32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshipped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." (Matthew 14)

…34 and looking up to heaven, he sighed, and said to him, "Ephphatha," that is, "Be opened." 35 And his ears were opened, his tongue was released, and he spoke plainly. 36 And he charged them to tell no one; but the more he charged them, the more zealously they proclaimed it. 37 And they were astonished beyond measure, saying, "He has done all things well; he even makes the deaf hear and the dumb speak." (Mark 7)

And in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon; and he cried out with a loud voice, 34 "Ah! What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God." 35 But Jesus rebuked him, saying, "Be silent, and come out of him!" And when the demon had thrown him down in the midst, he came out of him, having done him no harm. 36 And they were all amazed and said to one another, "What is this word? For with authority and power he commands the unclean spirits, and they come out." 37 And reports of him went out into every place in the surrounding region. (Luke 4)

50 Jesus said to him, "Go; your son will live." The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and went his way. 51 As he was going down, his servants met him and told him that his son was living. 52 So he asked them the hour when he began to mend, and they said to him, "Yesterday at the seventh hour the fever left him." 53 The father knew that was the hour when Jesus had said to him, "Your son will live"; and he himself believed, and all his household. (John 4)

Through the miracles He performed, Christ revealed His divinity in order that all might believe in Him and in the One who sent Him. This belief, endowed by Christ in the hearts of His disciples, led to the fullness of Revelation, the establishment of the kingdom of God, and the discovery of the Father’s most Merciful Love. Through belief in Christ as the Messiah and Son of God, we can learn to recognize the Father’s infinite Love. In essence, through belief in Christ, we come to know and share in His divine mission.

This mission of Christ was to reconcile us back to Himself. All the miracles He performed were oriented toward this end. When He healed the people, He forgave them their sins; when He underwent his passion, He carried the weight of our iniquities; when He rose triumphantly from the grave, He gathered His faithful about Him to share in His glory.

The miracles of Christ were a sign, not only for the people of His day, but also for all of us. Today, we are all witnesses to the perpetual miracle of Christ: His continual presence in the Eucharist. Just as the miracles of Christ’s earthly life strengthened the belief of his followers, so too, must we draw strength from the great miracle of the Eucharist, present among us today. Through this strength of belief, may we come to recognize the identity of Christ, and through Him, both our mission and our destiny.

END

A Love Poem

2008-02-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

No one stays in love by chance,

it is by WORK.

What else could I have asked you for?
What more could I require?
What selflessness my heart adore?
What Savior more desire?

You took on flesh and bore the stain
Of all my blackest sin
Embraced the cross which caused you pain
All for my heart to win

The soldier's whip which anguished you
I find to be my own
A hurt which failed to love subdue
A love which went unknown

O heart that burned with foolish love
The bl00d of man divine
Poured out in dea+h ordained above
My lasting soul refine

What else could I have asked you for?
What more could I require?
What selflessness my heart adore?
What Savior more desire?

Through Temptation

2008-01-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

Another day passes and my surrender is tested in the fires of temptation. Even the smallest of vices become the largest of threats, and my heart struggles to remember the fire of another day, the fire of another time. Yet it is truly in this moment of temptation which you most intensely pursue me. At my weakest moment, you choose to be with me because your love is such that you desire my will; you desire a free choice. You desire me to turn to you when I am the most disinclined to. O Lord, surely there is nothing fonder or more dear to your heart than seeing your beloved child willingly choose you over a moment's pleasure. How beautiful it must be to see your son run back to you after a quarrel or to have him give up what he wants most to stay with you. Your perfect and divine love is reflected in these actions. You ask nothing more, but you ask nothing less. Help me, then, to continue on with confidence that my surrender is sustained by such a transcendent love.

Come Holy Spirit, and fill the hearts of your faithful, and kindle in them the fire of Your Divine Love. Send forth Your Spirit and they shall be created, and You shall renew the face of the earth. Oh God, Who by the light of the Holy Spirit instructed the hearts of the faithful, Grant, that by the same Spirit we may be truly wise and ever rejoice in His consolation. We ask this through Christ Our Lord.

Amen.

A Midnight Cry

2008-01-23T19:31:00.000-08:00

My God,

How did I get here? How could I have ever imagined being here at this moment? Maybe I was naive. Maybe I was reluctant to think that I could ever lose control or maybe I believed I had to prove something to myself. Regardless, I'm here when I'd rather be somewhere else.

I remember the days when you used to hold me and I was content to be held. I remember days when I could surrender to you in a moment and not think twice. Now I feel afraid because when I see you, I feel as though I'm seeing you for the first time in a long time. When I try and talk to you, the words come slowly if at all and I often avoid your glance by clinging to the shadow, the shadow of fear and regret. I run toward other things just to avoid being seen because I know, I know how fantastic your love really is. I've been there, been entranced by it, been drenched in it, been utterly and completely consumed by it. Your love is like an ocean; it's so vast that even the memories of it cause me to think about the risk involved. Lord, I'm so scared of the risk.

There's something about romance, something about proving yourself, something about being accepted that is so utterly distracting. Though I once wanted to know what it was like to be caught in the undertow, I now seem to be more enthralled by the safety and warmth of the sand. How did it come to this? Why have I so freely distanced myself from you? Times like these make me want to leap into your arms and just be held again, but I'm so unsure. I know that tonight I'll fall asleep with your love like a flame in my heart, but I'm afraid what the morning will change. I'm afraid of you because I fear myself. I fear the whimsical nature of my heart. I fear my desires. I fear my sins. I fear that I can never completely surrender my life. I fear that I can never be or do or try enough. I fear, Lord, and I despise this fear that I carry.

So I'm asking you tonight, please take my fear. I don't want it anymore. I'm coming to you as broken and as wounded as perhaps I've ever been, and I choose to give it to you completely. I don't want it anymore. You've seen what it has done to me. You've seen how it has seized my soul. I know all you want is to tear it from my heart. Do it because I don't want it anymore. Uncertainty, Lord; it still haunts me. Take that too. What use is it to me besides unnecessary worry? You are enough. Please take it. Doubt? You want that too? By all means, take it. I want to find hope again. I want to believe that I can change, that I can love you if I really want to. Take my desires, take the passions of my heart, and the innermost thoughts which no one else will ever know. Take them and fit me with courage and self control. Take every flaw I see in my character: weakness, cowardice, irresponsibility, and sin. Take them all and burn them in the fires of your merciful love.

What a strange thing your mercy is, O Lord! Like a fire and yet like an ocean. How indescribable and how wonderful it is to me! I know even in this moment that my longing will not be left unsatisfied. How you pursue me! When I might have thought myself alone or had wished myself alone, still there you were, arms outstretched behind me. All you wanted was for me to turn around. I've continued on. Amidst tears of regret, I've cast my eyes from your face, afraid to see the disappointment and anger of my own heart reflected in your eyes, but now that I've taken the time to approach you with honesty, I find no such emotion in your eyes. Instead, I discover that you've been crying with me. Your eyes are filled with such a foolish love, a love which sees past every failing and every misery and rejoices at the faintest glance.

My God, bring me back. I may be far from you now, but I have turned around. All I want is to be held once more, to breathe the air of innocence and swim in the ocean of a love so vast I cannot comprehend it. Take my life again, and take it every time I hesitate or falter. It's not mine anymore. There's no reason for me to be afraid. I know you're there and you're all I need.

Amen.

If There's a Question, It's Not Worth the Risk

2008-01-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

For the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, January 22, I decided to write an Op-Ed piece about abortion for the student newspaper at my High School. I've posted the "unabbreviated" version below.

* * *

Abortion. No other event in our country’s history has been so fiercely debated and left unresolved for so long a time. For many, it is no more than an impersonal concept they find cause with or against, but for some of us, abortion is a concern proportional to the holocaust or a genocide.

Regardless of what you might believe about the matter, the fact remains that over 48,500,000 abortions have been legally performed since 1973 and today, abortion is not only accepted by much of the general public but eagerly encouraged by a good number of senators, doctors, teachers, and the media. For me and for many others, such complacency and utter disregard for the severity and urgency of this issue is staggering.

The most fundamental argument at the core of the abortion debate is whether or not the fetus is a unique living human person. The Supreme Court merely states that it is a not a “legal person”, and therefore cannot be protected by the state. If you think that’s enough to justify abortion, think back to the Dred Scott Decision. I think we can all agree that political definition does not alter reality.

There’s one really big question I have for all those who support abortion. Most of us, if not all of us, have heard of or witnessed a debate over abortion at some point in our lives. Here’s my question: If there is still such a debate raging even today, how can our government continue to assume that the fetus is not a human life? If there is any question remaining, wouldn’t it be better to err on the side of caution? Is it really worth the risk of ing millions of lives?

Scientific studies show that the fetus in the mother’s womb is biologically unique from the mother because its DNA is not the same as the mother’s. The conclusion we can draw from science is that the fetus is recognizably human by its features and is a unique entity separate from the mother.

The very concept of life is an abstract idea and cannot be measured by a scale or a yard stick. Whether or not life is present in the womb is a tougher question because science cannot adequately answer it. Therefore, the question is ultimately of a philosophical nature and requires an answer by means of logic and observational conclusions aided by, but not contained in, the realm of science.

My question would be that if the fetus isn’t alive, how is it growing and developing? We already know that the fetus is not just a part of the mother, and we know it’s not the equivalent of a tumor or other growth because it has its own DNA. If this “cluster of cells” does not have life of its own, how does it continue to generate new cells?

Many of those who believe it is a human life would argue that because the fetus is dependant on the mother, the mother has the ability to make her own decision as to whether to kill, (oh, I’m sorry) “terminate” the life if she feels it is best. My return is: what about children outside the womb? They’re just as dependant on their mothers. They can’t fend for themselves. Can the mother decide to “terminate them as well? Of course not! That would be ! So what’s the difference?

One of the major problems we deal with on a very human level is our lack of personal contact with the unborn child. Because we do not see a face, because we cannot hear a breath, because we cannot feel the tiny hands, it is easy to dismiss the child as something less than human. Our perspective of the child is flawed because the womb is an experience none of us remember.

If I may be so bold, what would be the reaction if 48,500,000 pets were killed off for being inconvenient or, at worst, a threat to someone’s life? The public would be outraged. Even putting a dog to sleep for legitimate reasons is often met with opposition, yet the dog is significantly less valuable than a human life, or even the possibility of a human life!

Abortion has consequences other than the of a child, many that are not self-evident before one makes the decision to receive an abortion. In many cases, abortion is followed by post-abortion trauma, a feeling of guilt which the mother can never quite heal. That doesn’t leave out the father either. He may also experience the great pang of guilt once he has recommended or encouraged the of his child.

This is true of r@pe victims as well. One of the biggest problems I have with pro-choice individuals is their argument that an abortion can help reduce the trauma of a pregnant r@pe victim. What is terminating the pregnancy really going to do for the mother? She will only have to live with the question as to whether or not she actually killed a child. How much better would it be for her to know she brought good out of such a traumatizing event?

After she has the child, she doesn’t have to keep it. Adoption is always an option, and it’s an option in almost every case, even for babies born with special needs. Believe it or not, there are even couples willing and eager to adopt them as well.

At the end of the day, it boils down to this: if you’ve been born since 1973, you'd better consider yourself lucky. If your parents had ever decided that you were an inconvenience, they need only to turn to a specialist. Of course, it’s no big deal. Besides, you weren’t legally human yet, and they only had so much time to dispose of their inconvenience. They had the right to kill you.

What's Wrong With Christmas?

2007-12-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

As the years pass, it seems like Christmas is becoming more and more commercialized and retains less and less of its original meaning. As a Christian, I have always treasured Christmas as a celebration of my faith, and that has always given me comfort amidst the swarm of newspaper ads and television commercials reminding us we don’t have what we want. My freedom to celebrate Christmas as a part of my Christian faith makes the season’s stress and spending somewhat bearable.

However, each year something even worse than commercialism threatens to ruin Christmas for all Christians everywhere. What is it? It’s censorship. Each and every year, dozens of stories are publicized about how people have lost their right to freely celebrate Christmas. Even if we don’t feel the effects as implicitly in Westerly High School, the reality is that all across the nation, citizens are denied the right to express their religion by being restricted in their celebration of Christmas. Here’s just a few examples:

For 75 years, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce sponsored the ‘Hollywood Christmas Parade.’ When it refused to sponsor the parade this year, the L.A. City Council took over, renaming it the ‘Hollywood Santa Parade.’

Chattanooga has banned a live nativity scene from its public festivities.

Fort Collins, Colorado says it is okay to have green and red lights outside city buildings, but only secular symbols are allowed inside.

After Briarcliff Manor, New York was ordered to erect a crèche next to a menorah, the village elected to ban all religious symbols.

No religious symbols are allowed in Seattle-Tacoma airport, but trees made of cardboard are legit.

The biggest problem I have with all this is that Christmas doesn’t hurt anyone. When did the story of a child being born ever offend anyone? Is it the belief that Christ was virgin-born or that he came as a Redeemer which causes people to take offence? What is it that drives people to censor Christmas as they do? We are a Christian nation, and as such should be allowed to express the rights we are guaranteed. I hope and pray that we always maintain this fundamental right. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Evolution: Its Probability is Problematic

2007-12-19T17:27:00.000-08:00

Evolution is everywhere: in public schools, biology textbooks, television shows, natural history museums, zoos, and popular magazines. In fact, it’s so widespread that our understanding of exactly what evolution means can be very easily confused. Therefore, before I begin my argument, let’s define what evolution really is:

The theory of evolution states that undirected natural processes have transformed primeval energy/matter into the structures of the universe, our earth, first life, and eventually people; that all nature has come into existence and developed without any initial “creator”. One of the primary underlying principles of the theory, the absence of God, easily implies the fundamental principle of naturalism: that nature is all there is.

One further distinction needs to be made here as well. There is quite a difference between the concept of micro-evolution and macro-evolution. Micro-evolution, evolution working on a local scale, employs the concepts of natural selection and mutation in a very observable and provable manner. Macro-evolution, the concept I am discussing here, is the theory of evolution on the larger scale. Macro-evolution (from this point on referenced as “evolution”) is fundamentally crippled because many of its premises are faulty.

One of those premises is the argument that mutation and natural selection will continually develop and improve an organism. In micro-evolution, no such “upward evolution” is taking place; no increase in complexity is being developed. Instead, this “fluctuation” actually supports the argument of a good “design”. However, in the larger aspect of evolution, the theory is associated with “progress”.

A fundamental flaw with the idea of evolution as “progress” is found in the Second Law of Thermodynamics: that things naturally tend to decay over time. The idea of a progressive evolution completely contradicts this.

Another flaw is that evolution cannot be proved in a laboratory. It is all hypothetical. For scientists to determine whether or not the theory is true, they would need millions of years to observe it. Therefore, evolution cannot be proved. Local lab experiments have also proved fruitless: peppered moths were still moths at the end; and although deformed, fruit flies were still fruit flies. They had not “evolved” into something more. In fact, these experiments only serve to demonstrate that organisms have a certain capacity for change which cannot be exceeded.

Another hole: what’s wrong with the panda bear? Why hasn’t it evolved into a rational being? If it’s true that human beings are the “most evolved” species, why aren’t we the only species? Why would there be so many dead-ends?

Speaking of holes, the fossil record is full of them. If evolution is true, countless intermediate fossils should have already been found, so many, in fact, that we would strive in vain to classify them all. Although we may have a lot of fossils, we don’t have the sheer volume or diversity to make such brazen conclusions.

Then there’s the big bang, a popular supplemental theory to evolution involves the supposed explosion and expansion of a dense collection of subatomic particles and radiation. It theorizes that material existed eternally or fluctuated into existence from nothing. Here’s the problem with this theory: what matter have we ever observed that was capable of being eternal? What material have we ever observed that could come from nothing? The conclusions supported by the Big Bang Theory are, in fact, unscientific because they assume things that actually contradict scientific principles and reach beyond provable physical realities. This aspect of evolution’s theory actually oversteps its own boundaries.

The probability of evolution as a result of blind chance is the most staggering of all: Dr. James Coppedge, of the Centre for Probability Research in Biology in California calculated that to provide a single protein molecule by chance combination would take 10, to the 262nd power, years, and to get a single cell would take 10, to the 119,841st power, years. That means that if you took thin pieces of paper and wrote 1 and then wrote zeros after (it), you would fill up the entire known universe with paper before you could ever even write that number.

Sir Fred Hoyle, of Cambridge University stated that statistically the chances of one cell evolving was the same as a tornado passing through a junkyard and giving you a fully functional Boeing 747, and Professor Edwin Conklin observed, “The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the Unabridged Dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop.”

What can we learn from all this? First of all, we should learn not to take the theory of evolution as cold hard fact. Teaching evolution in schools as the basis for all science is not only erroneous but very misleading. Instead, we should recognize evolution for what it is: a theory. We also need to acknowledge that this particular theory is not entirely scientific; it is philosophical as well: it involves logic outside the realm of science. We also need to at least consider and acknowledge the overwhelming possibility of a Creator, that the world in fact reveals its design through its beauty and complexity, qualities which cannot be adequately explained by evolutionary logic.

Finally, the rash acceptance of an un-sound evolutionary theory and its teaching in public schools will only breed ideas which serve to cheapen human life, elevate animal life, and encourage men to act like animals. In the end, the theory of evolution will only eventually succeed in defining man as a worthless accident. If such reasoning prevails, I cannot even imagine its repercussions. If we ever hope to keep the likes of Hitler from unleashing their “cleansing” forces upon the human race, we must resolve to keep evolution from being taught as science in our textbooks.

The Truth About Embryonic Stem Cell Research

2007-12-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

The following is a letter to the editor of a local paper dated July 7, 2007. I wrote it amidst a fierce debate in the People's Forum over what science had to say about embryonic stem cell research.

An 8 Week Old Fetus

I believe it is safe to assume that most loyal Westerly Sun readers have by now noticed the extremely heated debate in the People’s Forum being held over the use of stem cell research. Because I feel it has become a bit personal for the main players, I hope to inject my humble position without reference to any one article, so as not to draw away from my argument by attacking any individual directly. I hope that the reader will seriously consider what is written here. This will be my only letter.

First and foremost, I firmly believe that science alone is an unsuitable battleground for this issue. I know this may sound ludicrous, but please allow me to explain further. As mentioned previously in the Forum, science can successfully be used to classify the embryo as “human”. It has a unique set of forty-six chromosomes separate from the mother’s. This fact in and of itself is enough to define the embryo as human, but it fails to account for a “human life”. For example, the body of a man who has past away still has a unique set of forty-six chromosomes. However, we know for certain that “human life” is not present.

You may ask, “If science is not enough to determine human life, then what is?” We must always be cautious not to give science more credit than it is due. Don’t get me wrong, science is a crucial study, but it is a study limited to physical realities. Life is not just a physical reality. We see the effects of life upon matter, but life itself is caused by the soul, which is the principal of life and organization in a living being. We can best determine that an embryo is alive through philosophical discussion because philosophy is a study through which we can come to understand metaphysical truths by the ability of our intellect to detect the essence (or soul) of a living thing.

As human beings, we are necessarily made up of both body and soul. The body, being only material is not capable of animating itself; it requires the soul which is immaterial. The soul is the real essence of every human being. It’s what makes the matter identifiably human. The soul is really the substance of human life. In the physical realm, we observe the physical consequences of life as imminent activity such as exhibited in the life processes. By observing how the fetus grows and develops, we should understand there to be life present. We also must recognize that the soul is incapable of altering identities. For example, a dog’s soul cannot become a human soul. A dog’s soul remains a dog’s soul. So it is with the human soul. If we understand life to be present in the fetus, the identity of that soul does not change into “something human” as the child develops. It is always human, from the very start. Therefore, because that essence is determined to be human life, there are moral consequences with regards to embryonic stem cell research.

These moral consequences are necessarily absolute because the truths regarding a man’s body and soul are absolute. I am a student. When I am taking a test, there are right and wrong answers. Although it’d be a lot easier for us students if teachers saw A, B, C, and D as different shades of gray, that’s just not the way things are: the answers really are black and white. If teachers did give partial credit for wrong answers, it wouldn’t help us very much in our pursuit to gain knowledge. It’s a very similar situation with morality. If life is truly sacred (as most in the Forum have admitted), then it must be morally wrong to destroy it. That simple truth is black and white. It might not be the easiest way of going about things, but that understanding of black and white is what will profit us most in the future. If it means having to suffer more now, isn’t that less a price than the millions of human lives needing to be destroyed to accommodate such research? It might be less convenient for us to abandon embryonic stem cell research now, but I think it will help us put the value of human life in a better perspective; much better than the current irony of destroying human life to sustain human life.

Due to space, these ideas cannot be fully developed here, but I believe it is very important for us as a culture to develop such ideas in the light of reason and to argue not for the sake of bettering one another in an argument, but to pursue truth; truth that surpasses the limits of variables such as law and culture; truth that brings the understanding of reality as it truly is, not as it is defined by politics or society.

The Weakest Moment

2007-12-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

This is a popular parable that's been circulating throughout cyberspace since about 2000. Therefore, it is possible some of you have run into it before. If you have never read it before, or if it's been a while, please take some time to read it. It's message is simple and sincere: one act of charity, one selfless gift can literally be the difference between life and death:

* * *

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was
walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was
carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?
He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends
tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at
him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in
the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet
from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out
to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his
glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said,"Those guys are jerks. They really
should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big
smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned
out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He
said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out
with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried
some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a
little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and
the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought
the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious
muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me
half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were
seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I
was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles
would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for
business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being
a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me
having to get up there and speak.

On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys
that
really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked
good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.
Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see
that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and
said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those
looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is
a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your
friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the
best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first
day we met. He had planned to over the weekend. He talked of
how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later
and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little
smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us
all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and
smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its
depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you
can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in
each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in
others.

A Deferred Response to the Shepherd

2007-12-09T09:44:00.000-08:00

On November 13, I wrote following poem for my British Literature class. The prompt required us to write a response to Christopher Marlowe's famous poem "The Passionate Shepherd to His Love" using the same construction, rhythm, and rhyme scheme. Although Marlowe's poem is a secular poem, my response has significant Christian undertones, and I thought it would be fitting to post it here. As you read it, try to internalize it as a prayer. In many respects, it is the response each one of us must eventually make to God's invitation of Love.

Alas! Be mine such shame to bear

That e’er such love a voice declare

Upon deaf ears did once befall

And failed to first my heart enthrall.

As in the spring young leaves do burst,

And birds their songs sing unrehearsed,

Unseasoned love must learn to grow,

Forbearing much that love to know.

Though sun may whisk away the rain,

Still storms in restless souls remain

That slow to answer bring offense,

Which slow no more for love look hence.

What now doth burn within mine heart,

The same didst thou make known in art.

Forgive inaction’s cruel delay;

Permit me now thy love repay.

Unto thy rivers, woods, and hill

I journey if thou take me still

To live with thee, thy valleys share,

Together we our love repair.

Within thy flock of tender sheep

Take now my soul to hold and keep;

Accept my life, thy valleys share

And we as one will love repair.

Returning: Feast of the Immaculate Conception

2007-12-08T11:22:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone,

It's been a long time since I've posted here on Soldier 4 Christ (far too long in my opinion), but the greater part of this year has kept me busier than ever with school, work, music, and scouting. Especially in the past couple months, I have been spending a lot of time trying to finish the paperwork required to get my Eagle Scout. That paperwork is finally completed and just in time. There's only eight days left before my eighteenth birthday. I'd like to thank all those who have so generously kept me in their prayers.

Now that we are in the season of advent, I thought it would be appropriate to make an extra effort to begin posting more frequently. I like to think of it as my "return" to Soldier 4 Christ. The theme of "returning" is actually a theme at the heart of the Advent season. The journey of Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem was a return journey. It was a journey that took Joseph back to his home town. For Catholics, the Advent season is very much like that same journey taken two-thousand years ago, yet our "return" journey is not to a destination, but to a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. In all respects, Christ is our home. He is at every moment our Creator, Redeemer, and our Final Destiny. He is our beginning and end, the alpha and omega. If we were thus begun in Christ and made new in the baptismal waters of his Redemption, then we are his children. If we are children, God is our Father, and a father's home is always first and foremost the home of his children.

"But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God."

John 1:12

The journey home is not without its difficulties. Many stones lie scattered along the path, and stumbling is inevitable. On either side of the path, distractions of every kind seek to draw us wayward. To make this return journey alone is impossible. It requires a guide. On our own journey, we have such a companion. That companion is our Blessed Mother.

Today we celebrate Mary's Immaculate Conception, the day she was conceived in the womb of Anne without original sin. We celebrate the day that the Father prepared a way for his Son to enter the world. Mary, immaculately conceived, preserved from the stain of original sin, would become the vessel of God's Love, for she bore the means of our very redemption. In her womb would one day dwell Love itself. Years later, she would guide Love in taking His first steps and teach Him to walk. As He grew older, she would choose to remain by his side. Even as he marched to his death, she followed in him in his path.

This same woman, who so perfectly guided Christ, will help us in our own journey. If we ask her to, she will be our guide, teaching us to walk the path set before us. She will be our vessel, carrying us safely across the raging currents of life's difficulties, and she will be our encouragement, revealing to us the Love of our Father, and guiding us to our home, her very son. For who can more graciously love us than she that has born Love himself? Who can more perfectly guide us than she who has already made the journey? Mary is our way to Christ and she is the way home.

Help me, O Mother most dear, to make my devotion to you an integral part of this Advent season. Help me to continually call upon your intercession during these days of commercialism and travel so that I might not be distracted from reaching my goal. Help me to find my way home this Advent. Carry me safely to your Son.

Amen.

Lifehouse Everything Skit

2007-10-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

This video was forwarded to me from a fellow Young Apostle, and I felt compelled to share it with all of you. It's a short skit performed to the song "Everything" by Lifehouse:

The Mother and "The Cross"

2007-10-01T16:35:00.002-07:00

No, your eyes do not deceive you. Soldier 4 Christ has been updated! For all of you who check in regularly, I'd like to offer a genuine apology. Why haven't I been posting? Well, that's a story for another day...

The month of October is a special month. During October, the Church celebrates Mary in a special way. So on this first day of October, I was very inclined to sit down and post a brief reflection for the first time since July.

What perhaps fascinates me the most about our Blessed Mother is her connection to Christ. By that I don't mean only the biological connection of a mother and son, but the mystical spiritual communion Mary shares with Christ throughout the Gospels, particularly during Christ's passion and . If you've ever seen Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, you've seen a great many beautiful portrayals of the Blessed Mother's intimate relationship with Christ. In His pain, she is in anguish. In His hope, she is strengthened. In His resolve, she is patient. In His cross, she is a participant.

Perhaps this last idea is the most striking. Many times when I look at the cross of Christ, I am drawn to think of the Blessed Mother. Mary's own cross, suffering the loss of her Son, was so integrated with the Cross of Christ, that her faithfulness and devotion become the very for dealing with our own daily crosses. Mary's example is revealed in silence. Her very identity as a mother flows from the wordless example of patience and trust which she displays at the foot of the cross.

Everyday, we face crosses in our own lives. Each of our crosses is unique, and not one is the equivalent to another. At times, our cross may overwhelm us. It may seem that our lives would collapse under the weight. Like Mary, we must always remember that even when the weight of our cross overwhelms us and our vision becomes distorted, God's strength is enough to see us through. Even more so, the cross which we endure is not meaningless. We must always remember that the crosses we have received have been individually assigned to us. It is only after we have carried them that we will realize their purpose. Mary did not understand her sorrow until after she had borne it. Christ's victory over revealed what her tears really were: they were the tears of a mother, not only as the mother of Christ, but as the mother of the whole human race, a mother whose tears would serve as every soul's consolation at the end of time.

In prayer, then, it is important for me not always to ask for a lighter cross. Instead, it is more appropriate that I should ask for the strength and perseverance required to carry it as far as God wills me to. If I choose not to carry it, then I may never know why I was chosen to carry it.

About a week ago, I made a five-minute video reflection on the Cross of Christ and it's meaning for our lives. It was inspired by an email I received entitled "Don't Ask For a Shorter Cross". I uploaded it to Google and have made it available below. I would encourage you to view it and to think of Mary as you watch Christ embrace his cross.

It is my hope that this short video might help to make this October a month full of reflection and prayer. Keep checking in. There's more to come!

God Bless You All,
JBro

All Access 2007 (Part I)

2007-07-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

"Hey guys, check this one out."

Your father must have been a terrorist 'cause you're the bomb!

Everyone rolled over on their sleeping bags laughing hysterically. The only problem was that whatever direction you rolled you ended up on top of someone else. Sleeping arrangements at Steubenville East really help you to appreciate your living space back home.

It was about noon on Friday, and my Youth Group had been one of the first to arrive for the conference. After some lunch, all of us guys had made our way to the tent we'd be sharing with a thousand other teenagers for the weekend. Rolling out our sleeping bags and blowing up a couple ridiculously obnoxious mattresses, we each settled down onto our very own 3' by 6' piece of plastic and started looking through the weekend's schedule. Of course, being guys, that didn't last long. Instead, we began looking through the rest of the booklet for something more interesting. Then we found it: the section about dating. Being as excited as we were, it didn't take much effort to stifle a laugh from the border-line ridiculous examples of what not to say to a on a date.

After about fifteen minutes of looking over the booklet, half of us got up and went out to play a little Frisbee. There were about eight of us at the start, all standing in a circle trying to show up our skills with the Frisbee, some succeeding and others failing miserably. This continued for about a half an hour before we all unanimously decided to move on. By this time, groups were starting to flood in, and being the gentlemen that we are, we decided to help some of the girls carry their luggage to their designated area. Unfortunately I'd be lying if I said some of us weren't being selective about the process. At the end of the hike, we ended up by the volleyball court and found we were having Frisbee withdrawals, so we whipped it back out and began playing the all-to-familiar game of one on six; everybody for themselves. After about another half hour of that, we got a drink and then started playing Ultimate Frisbee. It ended about four additional people and two injuries later; right in time for dinner.

Dinner that night was one of the best meals of the weekend: a meatball grinder (please excuse my New England terminology). As requested, the entire Youth Group sat on the hill overlooking the monastery and munched down on the first meal of the weekend. In the main tent, which was off to our left, the band continued to prep the system and practice the songs for the weekend. Things were starting to come together. With time to kill after dinner, nearly twenty members of my Youth Group got together and tossed the Frisbee back and forth. I think it was about this time I began to question if we all had some kind of Compulsive Frisbee Disorder, but I reasoned that the scene my Youth Group had made was too entertaining for me to take any such concern seriously.

About 6:20, we all headed into the main tent to begin the opening praise and worship session led by the Ben Walther Band. When it began, I was able to enter into it very quickly, noticeably quicker than the first two years I attended. After praise and worship, we sat through some announcements before APEX came on stage and initiated a tent-wide tournament of Rock, Paper, Scissor which included all 2300 people present. (Only it wasn't really Rock, Paper, Scissor. It was a parody of the game with a bow, an axe, and a sword; each making reference to the life of a saint. If you're confused, take comfort in the fact that I was too.) This activity was especially exciting for my Youth Group because one of the guys came in second.

After the game subsided and we settled down a bit, Mary Bielski began her talk. In it, she began to elaborate on the theme of "All Access":

"If you knew Jesus Christ was live in concert, would you be there? If you had an All-Access Pass, one that's been paid in full, would you show up? Would you bother? I'd like to imagine we'd all be right there in the front row, but I think it's more likely we'd ask the question, 'Well, what's he going to do? Is he just going to stand there? I'll have to double check my schedule.' The thing that we fail to realize, friends, is that we all have that pass. We have all been given complete access to the Father through Christ's sacrifice on the cross. We even have the opportunity to go backstage, to meet him in a personal way. That pass you've been given has been handwritten just for you. That's how much He desires to be with you. The question is will you use it?"

As Mary talked, I struggled not to fall asleep. The late nights I had spent working the week before were beginning to catch up with me. The talk itself was very dynamic and thoughtful, but I had not yet allowed my heart to assume the disposition it required. While I listened to Mary speak, I heard words meant for other people, people who didn't know better already. 'Mary, that sounds great,' I thought, 'but I very much doubt we have to worry about Christ showing up at a rock concert.' I think about it now and I wonder how I could have missed the point so completely! But God perseveres, and He wasn't ready to give up on me yet.

After the talk had ended, Jim Beckman, our host for the weekend, announced that this year, they would be having Eucharistic Adoration that same night. Friday night was also the night the priest would process through the tent with the monstrance. Like myself, I think for anyone who had been to a Steubenville conference before, this news came very unexpectedly. Normally, the Eucharistic procession takes place on Saturday night. Jim Beckman explained that having Adoration on Friday as well as Saturday demonstrated more profoundly that we have access to Christ all the time, not just one Saturday night each year. Looking back, I find it strange how much those words were meant for me, and how for the second time that night, I failed to catch on.

They say that the third time's a charm. I know that on Friday night, that was certainly the case for me. The Eucharist had already been brought out and the procession had begun. To the best of my ability, I kept my eyes affixed to the monstrance as it went up the aisle and out of the tent on my far left. Then, it passed behind me and began to make its way down the aisle to my immediate right. In all my Steubenville experiences, I have never been close enough to the monstrance to touch the humeral veil. This weekend, I was one seat in from the aisle. I stared at the host enshrined within the monstrance as it came nearer. When the priest got to my row, he paused a couple seconds to extend the monstrance over us. In that moment, I reached out and grabbed the humeral veil.

Every year I have gone to Steubenville East, I have been aware of a particular question God has set before me. The first year He asked me, "Why do you continue to offend me?" That year, Christ woke me up to the reality of sin in my life and comforted me with the promise of his mercy. The second year he asked, "Who do you think you are?" He reminded me that I am called to humility at every moment, a humility modeled after the humility which God displays in the Eucharist. This last year, he asked, "Why do you stay so far away?"

For those of you who have never been hit by a 2" by 4", I'm sure you can visualize it. As I relinquished my hold of the humeral veil, the above question hit me like a spiritual 2" by 4". That's the best way I can describe it. Here He was, the God of the universe, veiled only under the form of bread. This was the God who had the power to create me, redeem me, and forgive me. Here was the God whose Love passed beyond every hurt, every sorrow, every frustration, and every care. This was the face the angels bow down before, the face which even Moses could not look upon. Here was God in all his power, fully present in the humblest of ways, and I had taken him for granted. I go to three Masses every weekend, and not once do I take the time to adore Him as I should. Daily mass is available at a five minute walk down the road every morning, but I choose to sleep in. There is perpetual adoration available at a fifteen minute walk any time I need it, yet I choose to pass by, even when I have the time to stop in for five minutes. And it hit me, if I knew and understood the value of Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, I would run, not walk; run to perpetual adoration; I would be the first to receive Him at Mass. If only I was aware of the power of the Blessed Sacrament, I would not give up hope in difficult relationships; I would not sit by idly when co-workers attack my belief in the Real Presence. If only I spent my life living out what I know to be true! How many sins would be burned away from my soul? How many chains would be broken! How many words would ring out from my mouth if I would but choose to believe, recognize, and utilize the power of Christ in the Real Presence!

In those precious moments, as Christ moved on through the tent, I was blessed with tears. Few and precious, these tears rang out the turmoil such a question wrought upon my heart.

How could I have stayed so far away? How could I have taken so much for granted? Forgive me, Lord. Grant that in this moment of adoration I may praise you with all that I am. I acknowledge your power and I praise You for who You are and what You have done in my life.

As I went to sleep that night, I knew that whatever God had done that night was not the end of my weekend, and that thought both terrified me and excited me.

The first thing on the agenda for Saturday morning was the Chastity talk given by John Beaulieu. It was an awesome talk, but the thing that struck me about the talk was not its character or content; it was one simple sentence. After an impassioned spiel about the struggles young men submit themselves to, John suddenly stopped and stammered, "Don't you know some of you are called to be priests?", and then looked out at us. Those words cut straight through my heart. They moved me so much that I remember physically moving backward in my seat. I've been discerning for three years and no one had ever put it like that. I also got the impression that those words were not John's. In a moment where words had abandoned him, the Holy Spirit had taken over.

To be continued...

Young Apostle Testimony 2007

2007-07-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

“Dominic, be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit.”

What precious words; words with which the Son empowers me to be a true witness in His name; words which become engraved forever upon the helmet of my salvation; words which will eternally strengthen me, nourish me, and comfort me until I breath my last.

On Saturday, October 14, 2006, I was privileged to receive my Confirmation. After the Gospel, my pastor presented the candidates to the bishop. As he called out my name, my heart skipped a beat. With my hands gripping the pew in front of me, I allowed myself to stand. In that moment, something was born again within my soul. A boldness overtook me and a ferocity filled my heart. As I rose to my feet, I could very nearly hear the clanging of armor at my sides; feel the weight of a mail shirt about my shoulders; see the banners swaying dimly in the far distance. All around me others stood at attention, ready and waiting. And Christ smiled. He smiled. Seeing us there, He loved us, and He challenged us.

One by one, the bishop called us forward. As vacant pews drew nearer, my heart began pounding. I stood on the marble floor, my ears deafened by the sound of my heart. I drew near. A hand reached for my right shoulder. “Bishop, I present to you Dominic.”

“Dominic, be sealed with the gift of the Holy Spirit.” And with these words, Christ anointed me with the chrism of salvation. He signed me with a cross; the sign of my redemption. He breathed upon me the fullness of His Holy Spirit, which is born of a transcendent love; a love which binds both Father and Son in an Eternal Union, a Union which this Holy Spirit makes perfect and complete as a third and unique person of God.

“Amen.”
“The Lord be with you.”
“And also with you, Bishop.”

Clasping my hand, the Bishop looked upon me with the love of Christ. “Dominic is a wonderful patron,” he said, “He was a marvelous preacher. Someday, you will be called upon to be just like him and your words will become an instrument for Christ.” I stared into the eyes of the man who stood before me, and in his prophetic words, I recognized the command of Christ as it settled upon my soul.

There are no words to describe the joy of that moment. Every word falls apart and becomes worthless at the very thought of it. Joy, authentic and wholesome, invaded my being. It was the joy of the Holy Spirit, now at long last fully received into my soul, assuring me, encouraging me, granting me the knowledge of such Divine Love. As I turned around to return to my pew, a new emotion fluttered about in my heart. Here was my home; here in this place where my Savior resided I had discovered the true meaning of safety. And no matter where I would go, no matter what would happen, I knew that I could always run back to this place; run back to Him and fall on my knees before his Real Presence in the Tabernacle. Sometimes I would need to talk. Sometimes I would need to listen. Sometimes I would need to hold my head in my hands and cry. And no matter what I needed, no matter what I desired of him, He would provide me with the best He could give.

As I received my Lord in the Eucharist that night, He embraced me like one friend does another, and He held me. Then, taking a step back He adjusted the mail shirt upon my shoulders and fitted me with a sword. Then, with a final command, he led me out from that place to do His work as the angels sang for joy.

The Eucharistic embrace I received that night was a reminder of just how powerful the Real Presence is in my life. Even before I could receive Him, the idea of Christ’s sacrificial act and its renewal at every Mass intrigued me. When I received Christ for the first time, I remember being overcome by the excitement and anticipation of participating in an event so mysterious and wonderful. As I sauntered along the marble floor, I nearly forgot how to walk! Somehow, I finally managed to get to the foot of the altar. With the host elevated above my head and my eyes turned toward heaven, I uttered a reverent and resounding “Amen”. “I believe it is truly you, Jesus, and I am ready for you to come and fill my heart with your presence.”

The innocence I had when I first received Christ into my heart was a treasure I only wish I could give him now. Struggles with impurity have left that innocence scarred and broken. Very often I have not even been able to receive him at Sunday Mass because I failed to take in hand the sword of the Spirit when temptation threatened to ensnare me. Like many of my brothers in Christ, I struggle with a habitual tendency to submit to my passions while letting Christ’s promise of mercy and grace fall by the wayside. Now more than ever, I find that the intensity of this struggle threatens to undermine the very foundation of my relationship with Christ. Even in the midst of such a threat, however, I still find hope. I find that hope in the patience and mercy of Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. Every Thursday night I attend my parish’s Youth Group, and there, amidst the music and conversation, I love to gaze upon the Blessed Sacrament exposed upon the altar. I know that in those moments of silent adoration, God uses the glory of his presence to cleanse my eyes of all the terrible things I have ever allowed myself to see.

Because of the wonderful example set forth by my parents, I have always had a love for Jesus Christ. It has been tested, most definitely, but a burning desire to know him more has always burned in my heart. In recent months, He has called me into a deeper understanding of what my true identity is as a Catholic youth. As a young man, I realize that I am called to be a Soldier for Christ, to be “in the world, not of the world”. Now, I understand why I can no longer allow myself to stand idle; I am called to live a life of evangelization and service. Christ has given me a new outlook on how I should use my talents. When I sing at Mass, I now make it a prayer. When I write on my blog, I allow the Spirit to guide me. When I go to school, I bring the presence of Christ with me and into my work. I’ve even taken on the task of building a Catholic Lending Library for my community. All these things help make the Eucharistic Presence of Christ I experience in my own life present to those who otherwise do not know Christ or are estranged from him in some way.

Christ once said, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) In the cross of Christ, I have come to realize the sheer size of such a statement. Christ himself commands me to love and to love unconditionally. He does so not only by His words but by His actions; He does so by His very cross. Through His Eucharist Presence, which is the living memorial of Christ’s greatest sacrifice, I have heard the call to love in the same way. I am called by my commander-in-chief to continually surrender my life to his will, even to . It is my constant prayer that through God’s grace I might one day prove myself to be a soldier worthy of the armor I wear.

Secular Humanism Resides Within the Life Movement

2007-07-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest minds I have encountered in this life was that of Mr. Daniel J. Storti. He was a devoted Catholic and a humble advocate of understanding Truth through faith and reason. He held a bi-monthly study group that still continues to this day during which participants analyze various magazine/newspaper articles containing today’s biggest issues currently facing both the Catholic Church and the culture as a whole. What is unique and inspiring about this group is that they approach these issues with the philosophical mindset of Saint Thomas Aquinas. In my experience this unique blend of rational thinking and faith-filled fervor is not only helpful in discovering truth, but absolutely necessary for the culture of our present day. Mr. Storti has since passed away, but his example lives on in the hearts and minds of those who knew him.

Below is an article published in American Life Lobby Magazine back in February 1983. I’m warning you now, some of the language may get a little confusing, but don’t let that discourage you. In the words of Dan, “Transcend the phenomenon!” Research the terms, learn the terms, love the terms. By allowing ourselves to think rationally, we better the culture one person at a time.

NOTE: This post is somewhat of a supplement to my editorial (see previous post). Dan’s words are much better than my own and his reasoning is much better developed. Although he tackles the issue of abortion here, his words still apply because they pertain directly to the life of the unborn child.

* * *

Influential elements in the pro-life movement have adopted a secular spirit which betrays the Creator and His Word.

One is reminded here of The Humanist magazine’s description of their cherished faith, secularism: “Leaving God out of the understanding of one’s life.”

If this secularization prevails, the movement will be in serious jeopardy since faith in the Lord and the necessity of His grace is paramount to the witness for life.

The following statements were observed in pro-life literature which illustrates this secular spirit:

“Biologic human life is defined by examining the scientific facts of human development. This is a field where there is no controversy, no disagreement. There is only one set of facts, only one embryology...” *

All Facts, No Meaning

“The above is not a religious faith belief,” nor “a philosophic theory,” nor “debatable...” *

A key question is now asked, “What yardstick, what intellectual discipline, what method of measurement can we (should we) use in making this fateful definition?” *

It is answered, “The question of when human life begins is a scientific question. Therefore we should look to science, rather than philosophy or religion, for the answer.” *

Of theologic or religious faith belief and philosophic theories, the conclusion is stated thus:

“None of the religious faith beliefs can be factually proven,” and “none (philosophic theories) can be proven factually by science.” *

In excluding philosophy and religion as inappropriate or irrelevant to the question as to when human life begins, these secular pro-lifers manifest an affinity with the cultists of science who ignore or negate the principle of causality.

To them God, soul, faith and reason have no significance or meaning since they cannot be examined by science. Here they place themselves in the camp of the positivists and pragmatists who te modern philosophy and Western culture as a whole.

Science, as such, cannot do the ultimate speaking for the origin and meaning of personhood and the sanctity of life. It has its limitations in that it is restricted by its own methodology. The sciences of phenomena obviously rely on sense perception and sense data.

However, for many of us there is a problem or confusion making a distinction between the realm of sensation and that of the intelligence. The data derived from the senses is only the condition of intellectual knowledge. Our senses see change and sequence such as the development of the baby in the womb.

But the intelligence alone sees the reason for it. Causality as an act of the intelligence and not of sensation is a conclusion derived from the most fundamental of principles, the principle of identity. The principle of causality is drawn from this first principle of thought. As rational created human beings we are by nature inclined to seek a cause that transcends the world of phenomena.

Visible to Everyone

Thus, as St. Paul reminds us, “since the creation of the world his invisible attributes are clearly seen – his everlasting power also and divinity – being understood through the things that are made” (Romans 1:20).

Pro-life secularists pre-eminently and exclusively mandate to science the answer as to when human life begins. Further, by their own testimony they have adopted a secularized definition of human life on the basis of “biologic fact” alone. In excluding the great Judaeo-Christian truths concerning life, which are known through revelation and they have opted for a faith of “biologic fact.”

Whence These Ethics?

After conveniently negating the role of religion and philosophy, they somehow arrive in a nebulous “ethical” territory. Here are some of their unscientific conclusions which are not consistent with their professed belief in scientific criteria:

“We must define human life, and that life must be granted legal personhood.”

“The ethical principle is that there is a hierarchy of rights, and the right to life itself is supreme.”

“Our government has the right and duty to protect the lives of all living humans...”

“A civilization will ultimately be judged by how it treats the smallest...”

“Abortion is a civil rights issue.”

Since theologic or religious faith belief and philosophic theories are repudiated, the above statements presuppose a secular humanistic or sociological base for which there is an appeal to fidelity. Who is to lead us out of this morass?

A Telling Limitation

St. Paul, in Romans, makes a crucial distinction which brings a message of hope and truth to pro-lifers and to an authentic pro-life cause:

“The unspiritual are interested only in what is unspiritual, but the spiritual are interested in spiritual things. It is to limit oneself to what is unspiritual; life and peace can only come with concern for the spiritual. That is because to limit oneself to what is unspiritual is to be at enmity with God: Such a limitation never could and never does submit to God’s law” (Rom. 8:5-8).

By Daniel J. Storti. Mr. Storti resides in Westerly, Rhode Island with his wife who is the Catholics for Life representative for their county.
* When Does Human Life Begin? by J.C. Willke, M.D., Life Cycle Books, 1982.

The Truth About Embryonic Stem Cell Research

2007-07-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

When I finally sat down to write for the first time in about a month, it was to write an editorial for my local paper. For the past month or so, there's been an ongoing debate concerning embryonic stem cell research. Of course, I just couldn't help myself:

* * *

I believe it is safe to assume that most loyal readers have by now noticed the extremely heated debate in the People’s Forum being held over the use of stem cell research. Because I feel it has become a bit personal for the main players, I hope to inject my humble position without reference to any one article, so as not to draw away from my argument by attacking any individual directly. I hope that the reader will seriously consider what is written here. This will be my only letter.

First and foremost, I firmly believe that science alone is an unsuitable battleground for this issue. I know this may sound ludicrous, but please allow me to explain further. As mentioned previously in the Forum, science can successfully be used to classify the embryo as “human”. It has a unique set of forty-six chromosomes separate from the mother’s. This fact in and of itself is enough to define the embryo as human, but it fails to account for a “human life”. For example, the body of a man who has past away still has a unique set of forty-six chromosomes. However, we know for certain that “human life” is not present.

You may ask, “If science is not enough to determine human life, then what is?” We must always be cautious not to give science more credit than it is due. Don’t get me wrong, science is a crucial study, but it is a study limited to physical realities. Life is not just a physical reality. We see the effects of life upon matter, but life itself is caused by the soul, which is the principal of life and organization in a living being. We can best determine that an embryo is alive through philosophical discussion because philosophy is a study through which we can come to understand metaphysical truths by the ability of our intellect to detect the essence (or soul) of a living thing.

As human beings, we are necessarily made up of both body and soul. The body, being only material is not capable of animating itself; it requires the soul which is immaterial. The soul is the real essence of every human being. It’s what makes the matter identifiably human. The soul is really the substance of human life. In the physical realm, we observe the physical consequences of life as imminent activity such as exhibited in the life processes. By observing how the fetus grows and develops, we should understand there to be life present. We also must recognize that the soul is incapable of altering identities. For example, a dog’s soul cannot become a human soul. A dog’s soul remains a dog’s soul. So it is with the human soul. If we understand life to be present in the fetus, the identity of that soul does not change into “something human” as the child develops. It is always human, from the very start. Therefore, because that essence is determined to be human life, there are moral consequences with regards to embryonic stem cell research.

These moral consequences are necessarily absolute because the truths regarding a man’s body and soul are absolute. I am a student. When I am taking a test, there are right and wrong answers. Although it’d be a lot easier for us students if teachers saw A, B, C, and D as different shades of gray, that’s just not the way things are: the answers really are black and white. If teachers did give partial credit for wrong answers, it wouldn’t help us very much in our pursuit to gain knowledge. It’s a very similar situation with morality. If life is truly sacred (as most in the Forum have admitted), then it must be morally wrong to destroy it. That simple truth is black and white. It might not be the easiest way of going about things, but that understanding of black and white is what will profit us most in the future. If it means having to suffer more now, isn’t that less a price than the millions of human lives needing to be destroyed to accommodate such research? It might be less convenient for us to abandon embryonic stem cell research now, but I think it will help us put the value of human life in a better perspective; much better than the current irony of destroying human life to sustain human life.

Due to space, these ideas cannot be fully developed here, but I believe it is very important for us as a culture to develop such ideas in the light of reason and to argue not for the sake of bettering one another in an argument, but to pursue truth; truth that surpasses the limits of variables such as law and culture; truth that brings the understanding of reality as it truly is, not as it is defined by politics or society.

Deacon Payne

2007-06-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

Within the past couple of months, I received an email from my pastor which contained a link to a video on YouTube made by the Class of 2007 Mundelein Seminarians. It's absolutely hilarious, and it has a great spin on the whole concept of what it means to be a "Soldier 4 Christ". I won't say any more, for fear I might give any of it away, but I would suggest you watch Reebok's commercial of Terry Tate first. Without having seen the commercial, it might be hard to understand the humor in the seminarian video. Both movies are embedded below. Enjoy!

Reebok's Terry Tate Commercial

Deacon Payne - Seminary Formationator

Post 101: Consecration

2007-06-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

Hello again everyone!

I thought maybe it was about time I post again. The past couple months of schooling and life's own little aggrivations have seemed to be somewhat more overwhelming than usual. (Big surprise!) However, summer is finally on the horizon and tonight the Spirit moved me to finally sit down once more and take up the pen... or keyboard, if youwill.

Did you ever notice those book titles that read Football 101, or Poker for Dummies? Well, this past weekend I picked up one called An Idiot's Guide to Wheight Lifting. Despite the name, it's a pretty awesome book. (Trust me there is a point to this.) Well, after I picked up the book, I got to thinking about what subject I would cover the next time I posted. Then it struck me, this post is Post 101. So I thought it'd be appropriate to review what exactly this blog is all about; to bring the focus back where it belongs.

A little over a year ago, when I first posted on this blog, I stated that "the main purpose of this blog is to provide other young men and women, like myself, the knowledge that it's OK to live your Catholic faith." To this day, it remains my core objective. Over the past year, I have also been drawn much deeper into what it means to be a "soldier for Christ". It has taken on an even greater meaning for me than I had ever originally comprehended. In a beautiful and unexpected way, it has also drawn me to discover more about my masculinity and what it means to be a man. I think that as time progresses, this blog will become an even richer source of reflection for my fellow brothers in Christ, who strive to understand their identity in a feminized world which lacks the strength of character a truly disciplined soldier must exemplify.

It is also a goal of mine to provide a variety of posts including more CD, book, and movie reviews, prayers, Biblical reflections, accounts of personal experiences, letters and essays, music (via Cantor 4 Christ), videos, and other various things worth posting. Every post, every thought, every word is offered to God's greater glory. Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam. Veteran readers will recognize this Latin phrase as one quoted here previously. Translated, it means "For the greater glory of God". This means that whatever is posted here is posted with the sole intent of honoring God by spreading his Word to those who need to hear it.

All of you should take this expression very seriously. We give honor to God if we don't just leave what's written here on the screen on the screen. We must take it with us into prayer and into reflection, and we should encourage and invite others to do the same. These thoughts and references are here because of a call to evangelize. However, for such work to be effective, it requires open hearts and open minds, not only of the audience, but also of the one writing. So please, pray once more for the success of this blog. Pray that God uses it to bring others closer to Him and to the mercy which flows unconditionally from his wounded side. I myself, in turn, will pray for all of you. I will pray for everyone who happens upon these humble reflections, that God might touch them and that they might become more receptive to His will in their lives.

So let us pray:

An Act of Consecration

I adore you, Lord Jesus Christ, Redeemer of my soul and friend of my heart. In the past, I have offended Thee with many grievances both large and small. Many I have yet to control and resolve, yet my soul is sorrowful and open to the forgiveness provided by the and water poured forth from Thine own Sacred Heart. I am witness to the great joy and freedom that comes from loving Thee, and I cherish whole-heartedly the moments Thou hast graced me with Thy loving presence, especially within the Real Presence of the Eucharist. My Lord and All, my weakness shows so clearly in the strength of Thy radiance. Please do not reject my humble prayer, but instead, look at Thy child with love and compassion. In this moment, a moment so much like every other, I consecrate to Thee my entire self, not only my spirit, but my body and soul, my work, my achievements, my failures, my shame, and my pride. Let me not hold anything back. Fill my emptiness with the wholesome beauty of Thy immense Love. Make me a vessel of Thy glory. In every moment, grant that I may continually bless Thy name, especially in times of weakness, in times of failure. When I fall into sin, help me to remember that I am not my own, that I am a Temple of the Holy Spirit, of the same God who created and redeemed me out of an impassioned love. I consecrate myself to that love, to be a witness of that love and to reflect upon its mystery all the days of my life. To this may I always hold true. May my love for Thee never falter, and may Thine eyes look continually upon me with mercy.

Amen.

The 100th Post!

2007-04-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

That's Right. This post officially marks the 100th post on Soldier 4 Christ! It is a momentous occasion because of what it stands for. It stands for perseverance, spiritual growth, flourishing evangelism, and new opportunities.

To celebrate this incredible moment, I have done something rather new and exciting. I've taken the time to create a supplemental audio blog called

Cantor 4 Christ

In my initial excitement, I have already posted three songs. The first two I had tried to make available at Easter, but the site I had linked them from required the viewer to sign in. After someone brought this to my attention, I finally resorted to Podbean in order to upload the files. The links from the previous post have been altered and are now accessible through the new site.

One of the coolest features of this new site is the ability to subscribe to it in iTunes. In order to subscribe, all you have to do is to open up iTunes and then click on the appropriate link on the right-hand middle of the web page. Like Soldier 4 Christ, you can also monitor it on your Google or Yahoo homepage.

Embedded below "Links" in the sidebar of this page, I have installed a mini player which will play the newest audio clips to be found on Cantor 4 Christ. That means you don't even have to leave the site to listen in; all you have to do is scroll down the page and hit play!

Speaking of play, many of you saw my miserable attempt at trying to embed the 18 minute long video "Fishers of Men" a couple of posts back. Finally, after switching over to Firefox, I was able to embed the video as it is found on Google. If you had any problems viewing it before, it should now be a bit more viewer-friendly.

Continuing the celebration of this post, I've also uploaded the actual video documentary which I made on Flannery O'Connor for my English class. So now, instead of reading the entire biography (and let me tell you - it's a long one), you have the option of viewing it as a movie! It is currently available under the post entitled "Legacy: the Biography of Flannery O'Connor".

As many of you may have well noticed, I had started a reflection on the Stations of the Cross during the later part of Holy Week. Due to time restraints, I was only able to finish Stations 1-6. At the present moment, I do not have intentions of continuing them. However, I am planning to continue them next year as part of a discipline during Holy Week. I figure that it's just one more thing for all of you to look forward to!

Post 100 is an astounding number to me. I am so grateful for the opportunity to own this blog and to have the time to post as often as I do. Spending the time has helped me in many ways, and it is my hope that it has also helped anyone else who takes the time to read. Although there are 100 posts behind us now, I am certain that this is merely only the beginning of what God is doing here. So once again, I rededicate every effort to Him and for Him in the assurance that He knows better than I.

And now I leave You in his peace.
May God bless you and our Blessed Mother protect You,
JBro

Legacy: The Biography of Flannery O'Connor

2007-04-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

This is the biography which I compiled and presented to my English class about Flannery O'Connor earlier this month. I am posting it for anyone who is interested in learning something more about O'Connor's life and work.

Edit: Now you can view the video below or watch it on Google Video by clicking here. It is approximately 18 minutes long.

O’Connor was born on March 25, 1925 as Mary Flannery O’Connor to Edward F. and Regina O’Connor in Savannah, Georgia.

The Milledgeville townhouse in which she grew as an adolescent, had served as the governor’s mansion in the1820, and in 1886, O’Connor’s grandfather, Peter Cline, purchased the grand brick mansion, thereafter known as the Cline House.

The mansion faced the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, built in 1874.

During her earliest years of education, O’Connor attended Catholic Schools. In 1931, she began first grade at St. Vincent’s Grammar School, and in 1936, transferred to Sacred Heart School.

Correct spelling was hard for O’Connor. In her later years, she wrote,

“It was a source of some small discomfort to these teachers that I could add only with the use of my fingers, confused history with a foreign language, and put 90% of my originality into my spelling.”

During these years, O’Connor’s relationship with nuns and priests was a bit hysterical, but it improved over time. In Mystery and Manners, she recalls,

“I developed something the Freudians have not named – anti-angel aggression, call it.”

Between the ages of eight and twelve, O’Connor could often be found in a locked room, and, as she described in The Habit of Being, be seen fighting with her guardian angel.

She writes:

“This was the guardian angel with which the Sisters assured us we were all equipped. My dislike of him was poisonous. I’m sure I even kicked at him and landed on the floor. You couldn’t hurt an angel but I would have been happy to know I had dirtied his feathers – I conceived of him in feathers.” (The Habit of Being, pp. 131-132)

Although O’Connor had peculiar reactions to her faith as a child, as she grew, she began to cherish and embrace her Catholic faith more and more, and although prejudice against Catholicism ran high in the South, O’Connor’s family lived in their Savannah home until she was 13.

In 1938, the O’Connor family moved to Atlanta and then to Milledgeville where she enrolled in Peabody High School.
Just three years later, her father died of lupus.

The following year, O’Connor graduated from Peabody High School and entered Georgia State College for Women with a Bachelor of Arts Degree.

Feeling that her originality was unappreciated, she changed her major to sociology.

While at Georgia State, she began publishing cartoons in the student paper and submitted numerous cartoons to the New Yorker, although none were ever accepted for publication.

From 1945 to 1948 she attended a Writer’s Workshop at State University of Iowa.

In honor of her move to Iowa, O’Connor henceforth disassociated herself with her common first name, deciding that Mary O’Connor would be too plain for a famous author.

It was while she was in Iowa, that she began working with Paul Engle, Robert Penn Warren, and Andrew Lytle.

To Engle, O’Connor’s dialect was as vivid and difficult as her scribblings were amazing.

It was during this time, also, that O’Connor forged an alliance with Caroline Gordon, a Catholic novelist who was 30 years older than O’Connor herself.

In 1946, O’Connor’s first short story, “The Geranium”, was published in Accent.

In June 1947, O’Connor turned in her master’s thesis which she dedicated to Paul Engle, and received her Master of Fine Arts.

Her thesis included “The Geranium”, “The Barber”, “The Wildcat”, “The Crop”, “The Turkey”, and “The Train”.

Many of these, she would later choose to alter slightly or rewrite and then publish them under new titles.

In 1971, Robert Giroux compiled these stories in The Complete Stories of Flannery O’Connor which won the National Book Award that same year.

Also in 1971, O’Connor was awarded the $750 Rinehart-Iowa Fiction Award for what would become Wise , which is disputably known as her most notable work.

A year later, in the June of 1948, O’Connor went to the Yaddo Artists’ Colony in Saratoga Springs, New York.

At Yaddo, she met Robert Lowell, who introduced her to Robert Giroux and to Robert and Sally Fitzgerald, who became her close friends.

During the following February, she left Yaddo and moved to New York City and then later to Connecticut where she moved in with Sally and Robert Fitzgerald.

In that same year, she was operated on for a floating kidney.

During the course of all these events, O’Conner continued to work on her now very lengthy novel Wise .

Some of its chapters were even published in Partisan Review, but as it became more violent and theologically shocking, the publishers questioned O’Connor’s judgment, claiming that her storyline was becoming too narrowly gothic and too close-minded.

After some urging, Holt Rinehart and Company released her from her contract in 1950, but immediately following her release, Robert Giroux offered O’Connor a contract himself.

Then, in the December of that same year, O’Connor experienced her first attack of the disease she knew all too well, and in 1951, at twenty five years old, she was officially diagnosed with lupus erythematosus, a debilitating and painful autoimmune disease in which the body’s defense mechanisms attack the body itself and gradually destroys it from within.

The disease is deceptive because it can leave the body in relative peace for long periods and attack again fiercely when least expected.

Upon receiving this diagnosis, she returned home to Milledgeville to live the rest of her life under the attentive and caring eye of her mother.

The first stages of her disease required extraordinary medical attention as she recovered the initial attack.

O’Connor needed daily inoculations of cortisone, and she quickly learned to administer them herself.

Despite the suddenness of the attack, and the abrupt loss of her independence, O’Connor met the severity of her disease with great cheer and dignity.

At home, O’Connor arranged her life around her craft demanding several undisturbed hours for writing every morning.

During the years of her greatest productivity, O’Connor had an absolute dependence on her mother’s strength, affection and organizational skill.

She is known to have realized this herself and confided in her friends.

Her diligence paid off.

In 1952, Wise was finally published.

At first, readers were horrified and appalled when they read the work, but despite the initial shock, O’Connor maintained a large audience throughout the 1950s.

In the same year Wise was published, O’Conner ordered her first peacock.

It was not long before she had collected a small army of peacocks. She kept them because she saw in them an unearthly beauty, and believed that they were grander than anything man-made.

In 1953, O’Connor was awarded the $2,000 Kenyon Fellowship Award, and the following year, her short story, “A Circle in the Fire” was awarded second prize in the O’Henry Awards for short stories.

In 1955, O’Connor published A Good Man Is Hard to Find to excellent reviews, and in that same year began walking with crutches.

Further recognition awaited her in 1957 when she received $1,000 from the National Institute for Arts and Letters grant and won first prize in the O’Henry awards for her short story “Greenleaf”.

In 1958, O’Connor traveled with her mother to Lourdes, Rome, and other major European cities, and even had her own audience with the pope.

That same year she finally managed to pass her driving test on the second try.

The following year she received an additional $8,000 from the Ford Foundation grant.

The Violent Bear It Away was published in 1960. In 1963, she won another first prize in the O’Henry Awards for her work “Everything That Rises Must Converge”, a work she would never see published in her lifetime.

In the summer of 1964, O’Connor underwent surgery to remove a fibroid ovarian tumor, and while she was in the hospital, lupus was reactivated.

Flannery O’Connor died in Milledgeville, Georgia on August 3, 1964. Her , however, was not the end of her legacy.

In 1965, Everything That Rises Must Converge was finally published, and for a third time, O’Connor won a first prize in the O’Henry Awards, this time for her short story “Revelation”.

After compiling bits and pieces of her work, Sally and Robert Fitzgerald published Mystery and Manners: The Occasional Prose of Flannery O’Connor in 1969, and The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor in 1979.

O’Connor’s fiction is best classified within late twentieth century literature.

During her short life, she was well-respected in the literary circle of her time.

She wrote among the era of Beat Poets and Confessional Poetry, the former concerned with counterculture and youthful alienation, and the latter with exposing the self as part of an aesthetic of the beauty and power of human frailty.

O’Connor’s style very plainly fits the mold of a Southern Gothic Novel.

Most of O’Connor’s characters are middle class Southern mothers, who talk in sweet cliché-ridden voices.

They are very often pre-occupied with the rules for separating and sanctioning divisions between the South’s races, genders and classes.

O’Connor invents a backdrop for her stories that hint of disease and despair; the people in her universe become quaint monstrosities.

In all of her stories, something is slightly askew, and she often alerts her readers to particular scenic oddities.

In every one of her stories, becomes the precursor of spiritual grace.

Her bizarre spiritual aggression works to evangelize her audience and provide a moral impact which works upon the readers, and lifts them up.

O’Connor’s fiction often culminates in an elaborate vision that comes as a gift to the world from her most grotesque characters.

For O’Connor, devout Catholicism and the grotesque were essentially intertwined.

That’s because she believed drastic measures were necessary for today’s Christian writers.

O’Connor argued that any writer who believes that our life is and will continue to remain fundamentally mysterious must always push fiction outward, toward the limits of true mystery.

Perhaps mysterious is truly the best way to describe O’Connor’s legacy.

Her distaste for “ladyhood”, integrationist-ideals, civil complacency, unique and breathtaking variety of prose, and her marvelous sense of humor make her biography a very enjoyable one.

As I always say, anyone who can teach a chicken to walk backward and fit it with its own fashionable clothing line is someone worth learning about.

* * *

For all of you who made it through to the end of this post, Congratulations! Because you have displayed such perseverance, you deserve a little reward! So let me tell you a little secret:

You may not have realized it, but this is the 99th post to date on Soldier-4-Christ.Blogspot.com! That means, the next post will be the 100th post to date! So expect something new and exciting, something fresh and entertaining, something...

You Never Saw Coming! If you thought this couldn't get any better, think again!

An army that does not advance is of no use at all. There comes a time when it must march forward into new territory. That time is at hand! Join Soldier 4 Christ this Sunday as it journeys into places you never dreamed existed! Be the first to discover what's on the horizon!

4.15.07

Catholic Allusions in O’Connor’s “An Afternoon in the Woods”

2007-04-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

In English class, I am studying an American author named Flannery O'Connor. This is a paper on a particular short story which I decided to analyze. I would highly encourage that anyone who has the time should read this particular work of O'Connor's and then read this post. You won't believe the allusions at work!

* * *

Flannery O’Connor is an American author well known for her unique and intriguing use of allusion. In nearly all her works, O’Connor employs the use of certain Gothic elements in order to share with her readers the ideas and beliefs she holds as a devout Catholic. In a very clever manner, O’Connor uses the Gothic novel as a vehicle for evangelism. Just in this way, she attempts to evangelize her audience by using numerous allusions in her short story “An Afternoon in the Woods.”

The protagonist in this story is a young boy named Manley. O’Connor describes him as “a fat white-haired boy of ten with pale blue eyes that watered constantly behind a thick pair of silver-rimmed spectacles” (763). The description O’Connor gives to Manley is a good example of the Gothic element she employs; it is a grotesque image. However, the name Manley suggests that O’Connor alludes to man in the collective meaning of the word. In Romans 7:24, a verse from the Bible, St. Paul writes, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of ” (143)? This particular verse helps explain her allusion a little better. O’Connor’s description of Manley is not one of livelihood or youth; it is one of decay, one that very closely parallels St. Paul’s “body of ”. The implication which O’Connor makes, therefore, concerns how frail and wretched man is, how meager an identity he owns.

At the beginning of the story, Manley becomes aware of the “great splashes of living red and yellow over his head” (763), and “the wild color all around him. The trees sprang up and met like leaping arches of fire over his head” (763). Once more later on, he becomes “conscious that the colors were raised over his head like a canopy” (768). What’s interesting to note about these three references is that they all include the phrase “over his head”. Without a doubt, O’Connor alludes to another verse of the Bible, Acts 2:3: “And there appeared to them tongues as of fire, distributed and resting on each of them” (108). These “tongues as of fire” represent the grace of the Holy Spirit descending upon the apostles after Jesus’ ascension.

In O’Connor’s story, the colors of the leaves over Manley’s head bear a very similar representation of grace. However, this grace is not administered automatically. Rather, it is observed to be more of an offering, somewhat like a second chance. Not coincidentally, Manley becomes conscious of the colors after he sins: the first time after smashing the bottle of perfume, and the second time after his fit of blasphemy. After becoming aware of the colors, Manley’s failure to amend his ways clearly shows his denial of the grace being offered to him. Without the fire of grace, Manley’s “feeling of this evil was murky but cold” (767). It is an unsettling feeling for him because it is devoid of the warmth and assurance grace affords; it is a feeling much like the skin of a body: lifeless and without a true identity. In a certain sense, Manley’s initial refusal of grace alludes to Adam’s fall. Just like Adam, Manley becomes a character in need of a Savior, a Redeemer who would implant within him a greater identity.

The allusion of a Savior is found in O’Connor’s description of the turkey which Manley chases and eventually finds after it has died. Manley first becomes aware of the turkey when he feels “a kind of watching presence” (763). This description alludes to the omniscience of God’s character. When Manley first catches sight of the turkey, O’Connor’s description of a “dark wine-colored eye” (764) alludes to the wine which Jesus offered at the Last Supper: “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my ” (79). This choice description of the turkey’s eye color symbolizes the sacrificial act which the turkey is about to undergo.

While Manley chases after the turkey, he calls out to it shouting, “You can’t fly Mason, you haven’t got a chance” (764). Interestingly enough, the name Mason appears to be very similar to the expression Son of Man, a name with which Jesus continually refers to himself throughout the Gospels. Also during the chase, the movements of the turkey seem to allude to Jesus’ journey to Calvary: “The turkey was running in a drunken zigzag... When the ditch ended, it slid under a hedge and fell forward on its neck” (764-5). The zigzag movement of the turkey is not unlike Jesus’ swaying from side to side under the weight of the heavy cross he carried, and just as the turkey falls forward onto its neck, so too did Jesus while carrying the cross. Perhaps the most obvious allusion can be found when Manley peaks into the bush and catches sight of the turkey’s eye which is described by O’Connor to be “a black diamond clenched in a y fist: (765). This description, without a doubt, is a reference to the nail-pierced hands of Jesus as he lay upon the cross.

After Manley’s fit of blasphemy, in his greatest need for redemption, conscious of the colors overhead, he finds the turkey lying against a rock. Manley observes that “all the small bushes seemed to bow before him” (768). What Manley fails to realize, however, is that the bushes are not bowing to him; they are bowing to the turkey, the Savior, who, through his sacrificial , has made grace available to Manley once more.

When Manley picks up the turkey, his actions allude to an acceptance of the grace now made available to him; he accepts the opportunity to change, and takes on a more noble identity. He develops a sense of worth through the turkey’s sacrifice. However, during the walk home, he fails to effectively exploit the opportunity given him. His pride in having acquired the turkey keeps him from sharing it with others. When he passes the beggar woman known as Hetty Gilman on his way home, all he gives her is a small, thin dime. He does not even think to pass on the great treasure he has received. Instead, he plans on using such a gift to boost his own ego and to make himself look good. In the end, this pride is what robs him of the treasure he so eagerly desired and strips him of his newfound identity.

Flannery O’Connor’s allusions in this story are meant to awaken within the reader a new taste for what the gift of faith truly means. She believes most firmly that the graces man receives as consequence of Christ’s sacrifice should be shared with others, not kept to himself. This fundamental belief of O’Connor’s serves as the interior motive for her short story. Through such intriguing and unique use of Gothic imagery, O’Connor strives not only to creatively instruct her audience, but also to share the gift of her own faith in a way that might catch the reader’s eye.

WORKS CITED

Fitzgerald, Sally, comp. O’Connor: Collected Works. New York: The Library of America, 1988.
The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1966.

Fishers of Men

2007-04-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

Every year on Holy Thursday, the Church celebrates the Institution of the Priesthood at the Last Supper. In commemoration of that, I thought it would be appropriate to share with all of you the video I have embedded below, which is entitled "Fishers of Men". For those of you not already familiar with the the video, it was made by the Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee on Vocations and Priestly Formation in order to give people a look in on the life of a Roman Catholic Priest. They did a phenomenal job and if you've got the time, I strongly recommend watching it, whether you are considering the priesthood, know someone considering the priesthood, or want to learn more about it. To watch the video, just click the play button in the box below. The running time is about 18 minutes, and will require some initial buffering.

You can also access the video on Google Video at this address

or watch it in Windows Media Player by clicking here.

Exultet Iam Angelica Turba Caelorum!

2007-04-08T04:43:00.000-07:00

Rejoice! Christ is Arisen, and Alleluia is our song!
No longer in darkness, we have been given the light of eternal salvation!
Do not keep silent, rise up and extol him on this day of days!

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In celebration of this holiest day of the year, I have uploaded the Exultet which I sang at the Easter Vigil last night. It is free to listen to at the link below.

The Exultet 2007 Easter Proclamation

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In addition, I have also uploaded a beautiful easter Song entitled "Three Days" which I sang this morning with a fellow choir member. It is also available for free at the link below.

"Three Days"

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Edit: These links have been updated and are now available through Podbean. Thank you for your patience!

Have a Blessed Easter everyone!
JBro

The Sixth Station

2007-04-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

My God,

The journey has already seemed to carry on for hours. The scorching sun seems to drain the color from everywhere I look. The heat has caused many people to disperse and travel back to their homes, but I have decided to stay a while longer. Sweat is beginning to pour down my face. Your own face has become a mess of intermingled and sweat. I can tell just by the way You grind Your teeth, that it is causing You renewed agony. The soldiers, too, appear to be getting rather uncomfortable in the heat. They order You to stop, and the man who has been helping You, lifts the cross from your shoulders. Exhaustion causes you to stumble and fall to the wayside, but after the man has placed the cross on the ground, he helps you to sit up and then places his back against yours to allow You some support. There, resting your back against the man, I watch as Your eyes close, and You bow Your head in prayer.

The soldiers take some time to fetch some water from a nearby well, and in their laughter and merriment, they fail to notice a young woman approaching You. As she kneels down in front of You, You once more lift up Your head and open Your eyes. Quietly and gently, she offers you a small cloth, which You gratefully accept and bring to Your stinging face. After holding it there for a moment, You start to hand back it back to her when a soldier grabs it and tosses is aside. Then, turning his attention to the young woman, he offers her a small threat before she picks herself up and runs off.

The soldier now turns to You and orders You to stand. Slowly and with great effort, You will Yourself to rise, and once more the man lifts the cross onto his shoulders, and once more You pull Yourself underneath it. Then, together, you begin to walk the road toward Calvary. I watch You turn Your head, searching for the young woman in the direction You saw her run. There, standing at the edge of the crowd to Your left, You see her holding tightly to the cloth she offered You, which now bears a bloody imprint of Your holy face.

Lord, in this young woman I see what it means to be truly charitable. She comes to You, offering all that she has to offer, although it is seemingly very little. She is not strong enough to carry Your cross; she is not capable of tending to Your wounds. All she offers You is a small cloth that You may wipe Your face with to relieve the nagging sting of the heat, and yet it is more than the man who is with You ever offered to do. She does it, fully aware that she is risking her well-being to do so. She knows that You are worth it, and deserving of all that she can give You. Lord, help me to see that kind of value in others. Help me to be like this young woman by giving what I can, even when it is not much. Help this journey transform the way I see others, and inspire me to see the opportunities I have to help those who need me most.

Amen.

The Fifth Station

2007-04-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus to Carry His Cross
(Matthew 27:32)

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

As they went out, they came upon a man of Cyre'ne, Simon by name; this man they compelled to carry his cross.

My God,

There is so much road left to travel and You are fading fast. As much as You will Your feet to continue onward, the extent of Your humanity is beginning to show. The soldiers sense that You are nearly spent, but they do not want You to die in the streets. One of the soldiers begins to scan the crowd for someone to carry the cross. As he searches, out of the corner of his eye, he catches sight of a father ushering his two small sons into a converging alleyway. "You!" he shouts. At first the man does not respond. "You!" he shouts again, this time with more force. As the crowd's eyes all come to rest on the man, he senses the soldier is calling to him, and turns to see what the matter is. "You," shouts the soldier a third time,"You will help carry his cross." The man begins to protest, but the soldier insists. The man frantically pleads his case again, but the soldiers will not have it. The man sees that he has no choice and tells his children to remain behind and wait. Then, reluctantly, he approaches You to take the cross.

Lord, sometimes I am just as reluctant to help others as this man is reluctant to help You. More often than not, I am more interested in what help I can receive from others than with what help others could receive from me. Just like this man, I am slow to give aid in a situation which will not benefit me in some way.

When this man looks at You, he sees a worthless shell of a man who has been condemned as a criminal and is about to die. He knows nothing of who You are or why You are carrying this cross. He only knows that he wants nothing to do with it. He does not want to risk his own safety and well-being for the few last hours of a criminal's miserable life. However, he understands that if he does not help You, the soldiers will most likely make him worse off. So he allows them to lift the cross off Your back and to place it on his own.

Most of the time when I do give someone the help they need, I do it likewise out of necessity. I do it if it seems to be the better of two options or if I have no way out of it. Lord, I would have acted in the same way this man has; it just doesn't seem worthwhile to help a man carry his cross only so that he can die upon it hours later. Even if forced to carry it, I would have been reluctant and unwilling.

You, however, are not content to let this man carry Your cross alone. You draw yourself up beside him, throw Your arm across the heavy beam and grasp the wood. The man turns to look at You with curious eyes, struggling to understand why You would not even allow Yourself to rest from Your burden. Then I watch his face change as You bring Your eyes to meet his own. In Your eyes, the man senses a deeper purpose, a mystery beyond what he has yet discerned from Your broken y body. For a while, he gazes intently at You, trying to discover what is really going on, but the soldiers become impatient and force You onward. So, together, you both turn your gaze toward Calvary and begin to walk the broken road underfoot.

Lord, help me, like this man, to search for the greater purpose in each act of charity I experience. Help me to look under the surface into the mystery of what an act of love truly means. Let me follow You now, with a renewed hope in knowing that there is more to what is happening here than meets the eye.

Amen.

The Fourth Station

2007-04-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

Jesus Meets His Mother

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

My God,

There is nothing more inspiring than to see a son reunited with his mother. In that moment, despite the incessant clamor and commotion of the outside world, a simple and serene silence seems to invade the limits of time and space. It crowds out all other noises and, for a moment, time seems to stop entirely.

When You first catch sight of Your mother, Lord, she is with Your beloved disciple John, who is frantically trying to lead her through the crowd. He knows that she wants more than anything else to be close to You in Your time of need. When they finally find their way to the edge of the crowd, You can finally see Your sorrowful mother, grieving Your pitiable wounds with silent tears running down her cheeks. As you approach where she is standing, Your eyes meet with hers, and through a wordless conversation, You reassure her that this must be done. She holds out her hands toward You and steps out from the crowd. Now that You are beside her, You allow yourself to pause for a very brief moment. She places her tender smooth hands on your gashed filthy face, and leans in to kiss your y cheek. Then she, hesitantly releases You from her tender embrace and steps back into the crowd. She knows that if You do not continue on, the soldiers will grow restless. With her eyes on Your back, You turn Your gaze once more upon Calvary and continue walking onward.

Lord, I am moved to admiration when I see how deeply Your mother loves and respects You, and even moreso when I see how deeply You love and respect Your mother. In this significant exchange, neither of you seek comfort for yourselves. Rather, you are most concerned with comforting each other, and because of such a deep respect and selfless attitude, each of you receives the comfort you saught to give away.

It is not always so with my own parents. In fact, there are many times I think only about myself while talking with them. During these times, I have often been known to raise my voice and become rather sarcastic in responding to them. My words lack the respect my parents deserve. When I choose to disrespect them in this way, both they and I walk away from each other upset and unappreciative. Lord, help me to learn through this brief encounter with Your mother, how I should treat my own parents. By learning to value them and share this value while talking with my friends, I can hope to exemplify the kind of comfort You are to Your mother.

Amen.

The Third Station

2007-04-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

Jesus Falls the First Time

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

My God,

I cannot begin to imagine the weight of the cross on your back. Your slow and painful strides do their best to balance it, but at length, your humanity prevails. A misguided step sends you tumbling forward into the rocky gravel beneath your feet. With a crushing force, the cross falls to the wayside, kicking up dust and sharp pebbles which are sent flying into your face. The soldiers, refusing to acknowledge Your pain, shout at You to get up. Slowly, You will Yourself to stand up. This valiant effort goes unnoticed by the soldiers. They stand there and laugh at You, because they do not understand what compells You, they cannot comprehend what all this means, and as I watch You accept the cross on Your shoulder once more, neither can I.

Lord, in my youth, there were many times when I managed to acquire little hurts here and there. I remember how I often scraped my knees while biking on a slab of pavement and cut myself while playing near a brier patch. I also remember what a big deal I often made of it. What I really wanted most was for someone to notice me, for someone to approach me and ask me if I was alright. I remember just sitting there for the longest time, not wanting to move, not willing to move. All I wanted was for the pain to go away.

As You fell onto the ground, Lord, I could tell that the thin garment You wore was not enough to keep Your already broken body from feeling the sting of the sharp pebbles underneath, and as the dust settled, I could see the wounds on Your face had once more been opened and were bleeding. This was no simple scape or cut. This was a hurt that must have shaken Your entire body. In Your place, Lord, I would not have kept silent, I would not have risen back up, but You did not succumb to such temptations. Instead, you silently offered up the hurt to Your Father in return for the renewed determination to get up and finish the journey, and as You rose from your place, there were no cheers to hail You, there were no comforting voices or hands to help you up. There were only peals of laughter as if what You had just done was something very foolish.

Lord, what did You see at that moment that gave You such determination to continue? What worth did You see in the people around You who so willingly condemned You to death? What are the secret thoughts of Your heart as You see me standing amongst the crowd? Do You still love me even now? As you glance my way, Your eyes assure me that, yes, you do. They beckon me to follow them; to draw deeper into the mystery of a passionate love beyond the boundaries of human expression. O Lord, help me to forever seek this mysterious love, a love that allowed You to rise from the ground and continue on toward Calvary.

Amen.

The Second Station

2007-04-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

Jesus Carries His Cross

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

My God,

What a powerful and mysterious moment we have come to. From somewhere, at last, a cross has been produced, and the soldiers are carrying it toward you. With each step, I can hear the crowd about me grow louder. A faint darkness can be perceived gathering along the distant horizon. Your hour is finally at hand. For a moment, the soldiers erect the cross atop the broken pavement beside You, and it takes three of them to hold it in place. As I look at You, Lord, I do not believe You are capable of bearing such a thing, as beaten and ied as You are. Against the wood of this freshly-hewn beam, you appear even less a man than you did before. The cross beside You makes You appear both small and insignificant.

I watch You raise Your head to look up at the cross. Then, silently and with overwhelming determination, You reach out Your hand and touch it. As your eyes gaze upon the wooden structure, I notice their deep serenity. They show no sign of resentment or anger, but rather, appear patient and understanding, willing to accept what is about to happen. Lord, I do not understand how You can feel this way. Even now, as the soldiers bring down the cross upon Your shoulders, you seem to embrace it as if it were a gift from a little child. Despite it all, I can sense you are in a lot of pain. You are visibly trembling as you try to gain control of the excessive weight. How is this possible? Why are you doing this?

Lord, there are crosses in my life that I must deal with every day, and although some of them weigh hardly anything at all, I still manage to complain about how heavy they are. When someone asks a favor of me, I am not always so quick to volunteer. When I am forced to wait in line or to deal with someone I do not partcularly like, I easily become impatient. When I am plagued by illness, I so readily look for sympathy, and when I am struggling with temptation, I can be very quick to give in. Lord, I am so always so ready to push these crosses away, to find a way around them. What I see here startles me. You do not recoil. You do not pull back. Forgive me, Lord, for I do not yet completely understand what it means to embrace a cross.

What I do know, Lord, is that now, as You take Your first steps toward Calvary, You are beckoning me to follow. Help me to develop the same determination You exhibit by learning not to grumble when I receive crosses in my own life. Instead, help me to see them as opportunities to do Your will and to bring You the glory Your name so rightly deserves.

Amen.

The First Station

2007-03-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

Jesus Is Condemned To Death
(John 18:28-19:16)

We adore You, O Christ, and we praise you.
Because by thy holy cross, thou hast redeemed the world.

Then they led Jesus from the house of Ca'iaphas to the praetorium. It was early. They themselves did not enter the praetorium, so that they might not be defiled, but might eat the passover.
So Pilate went out to them and said, "What accusation do you bring against this man?"
They answered him, "If this man were not an evildoer, we would not have handed him over."
Pilate said to them, "Take him yourselves and judge him by your own law." The Jews said to him, "It is not lawful for us to put any man to de_th."
This was to fulfil the word which Jesus had spoken to show by what de_th he was to die.
Pilate entered the praetorium again and called Jesus, and said to him, "Are you the King of the Jews?"
Jesus answered, "Do you say this of your own accord, or did others say it to you about me?"
Pilate answered, "Am I a Jew? Your own nation and the chief priests have handed you over to me; what have you done?"
Jesus answered, "My kingship is not of this world; if my kingship were of this world, my servants would fight, that I might not be handed over to the Jews; but my kingship is not from the world."
Pilate said to him, "So you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say that I am a king. For this I was born, and for this I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth. Every one who is of the truth hears my voice."
Pilate said to him, "What is truth?"
After he had said this, he went out to the Jews again, and told them, "I find no crime in him.
But you have a custom that I should release one man for you at the Passover; will you have me release for you the King of the Jews?"
They cried out again, "Not this man, but Barab'bas!" Now Barab'bas was a robber.

Then Pilate took Jesus and scourged him.
And the soldiers plaited a crown of thorns, and put it on his head, and arrayed him in a purple robe;
they came up to him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" and struck him with their hands.
Pilate went out again, and said to them, "See, I am bringing him out to you, that you may know that I find no crime in him."
So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, "Behold the man!"
When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, "Crucify him, crucify him!" Pilate said to them, "Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no crime in him."
The Jews answered him, "We have a law, and by that law he ought to die, because he has made himself the Son of God."
When Pilate heard these words, he was the more afraid;
he entered the praetorium again and said to Jesus, "Where are you from?" But Jesus gave no answer.
Pilate therefore said to him, "You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have power to release you, and power to crucify you?"
Jesus answered him, "You would have no power over me unless it had been given you from above; therefore he who delivered me to you has the greater sin."
Upon this Pilate sought to release him, but the Jews cried out, "If you release this man, you are not Caesar's friend; every one who makes himself a king sets himself against Caesar."
When Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judgment seat at a place called The Pavement, and in Hebrew, Gab'batha.
Now it was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about the sixth hour. He said to the Jews, "Behold your King!"
They cried out, "Away with him, away with him, crucify him!" Pilate said to them, "Shall I crucify your King?" The chief priests answered, "We have no king but Caesar."
Then he handed him over to them to be crucified.

My God,

I am utterly ashamed. As I observe the riotous clamor of the crowd, I hear a familiar voice. At first I cannot believe it, but as it grows louder, there is no mistaking it. The voice is my own. Like sharp jagged daggers, I hear the words ring out from my own lips, "Crucify him, crucify him!"

From where I am standing in the crowd, I can see you silently hunched over atop the Pavement, clad in a purple robe and crowned with an interwoven mesh of thorns pressed into your brow. You stand before us all, a mockery of the King you claim to be. My Lord, there are many times when I profess you to be my King. While I am at Mass or with my Christian brothers and sisters it is not uncommon for me to utter such empty and meaningless words. Despite what I may say, however, I know how reluctant I am to make You the true king of my heart. Just as the chief priests found you to be a nuisance and wanted to be rid of You, I can think of countless times I have thought of you and responded to you in the exact same way. You made me uncomfortable, and for that, I shunned You and condemned You. Jesus, You are not yet truly king of my heart. I choose instead to be the ruler of my own life. And yet, as you address Pilate, I hear you remind me that this freedom I have over my own actions is not of my own merit; it is given to me from above.

As I look at Pilate, I can tell he is afraid. He knows what he should do, but he fears the consequences. At all costs, he wants to avoid stirring up the people. The crowd senses his fear and draws strength from it. They tell him that any man who claims to be a king sets himself against Caesar. Pilate's already on thin ice as it is. He can't afford another strike against him. He's weighing the consequences of his actions and is visibly perturbed by what he seems is his only option. How often I become like Pilate! I cannot count the number of times I have allowed fear to make the final decision for me. Whenever I try to keep up my self image, whenever I face ridicule and judgement, whenever I shy away from defending what I know to be true, I am acting like Pilate. With dreadful spite, I have even been known to question what truth really is in an attempt to build up walls around my soul, in an effort to keep you from making me uncomfortable.

I turn my gaze toward the chief priests standing next to me. They continue to taunt Pilate even now. They are cowards. They will not even condemn You to themselves. Instead, they are trying to make it Pilate's doing. They're trying to pass on their guilt to Pilate, but even Pilate is trying to pass the blame. He even goes so far as to wash his hands to show that he is not responsible for Your condemnation. Nobody wants to accept responsibility for what they're doing, but that only makes them more at fault. If I have ever felt that my sins were not responsible for Your sacrifice, please forgive me. If I have ever thought of myself as someone more deserving or as someone better than the rest, I am sorry. I now see myself for what I truly am: a sinner among sinners. Forgive me, Lord.

Now, at last, I try my best to look at You. Your body is a mess of and filth. Dark, deep gashes prey on the loose folds of your skin. I can see where the bits of bone have ripped away huge portions of Your flesh. My God, it is horrific, and yet, it is conceals a hidden beauty. I call it beautiful because it is the most love anyone has ever shown me. No one who ever said they loved me meant it this much. I cannot even imagine what humility it must take for you to stand there. A king steps out of his kingdom when he need not, but he does it out of unadulterated charity. He does it for me. He undergoes the most immense suffering imaginable, and he does it without complaining in any way. Although I try, Lord, I cannot look at You for long. I know that it is I who have bruised your broken body. I know that it is I who have struck You and wounded You in such a way.

Grant, O Lord, that as I begin this journey with You, that I might resolve to foster a horror for sin, so that I may no longer seek to offend You. Help me, as I follow along behind, to tread upon the footprints of humility which you leave behind.

Amen.

A Prayer of Return

2007-03-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

Lord Jesus,

For some reason, I feel very lost today. I look back at this past season of Lent and I wonder how it has gone by so quickly. I look back and ask myself how I let it go by the way I did.

Don’t get me wrong, Lord. I fasted on Ash Wednesday, went vegetarian each Friday, and haven’t eaten any chocolate since Lent started. I’ve done what I needed to, but something’s missing. There’s some sort of sadness in my heart, Lord. It feels so misplaced; and so very uncomfortable. It’s like a huge pit in my stomach.

Dearest Savior, I feel such shame for my sin. Life has been so hard lately, and in my frustration, Satan has found me easy prey. Jesus, I yearn for the times when I could so easily have shouted, “No!” when temptation arose. I long for the years I found sin so unattractive. Today, I am smitten by my own filth, I am buried in weakness. How can I find comfort at the start of another day if I constantly fail to amend my life?

When will I learn to seek you in prayer? When will I finally learn to turn to you in my moment of weakness? Will I ever, O Lord? Can I ever escape this sadness, this grief? All the resolutions I made this Lent: to pray, to read Your Word, to visit You sacramentally, to meditate on Your will for me; all these have fallen by the wayside. I have failed to pursue You in this sacred and powerful season. My sin has hindered me from committing myself to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.

Lord Jesus, I give You these failures, these inadequacies I cling to. I admit to Your Most Sacred Heart once more that I am indeed a miserable wretch, a sinner most worthy of your judgment. Yet, be mindful that I come to you repentant and contrite, filled with disgust for the sins of this and recent days, and filled with a resolve to live in communion with You from this moment onward.

Yes, O my Savior, it is true that I have once more failed You, but now as I contemplate Your Most Sacred Wounds, I feel such deep regret for my misguided thoughts, words, and actions. Forgive me Lord. Forgive me, and forbid me not to waver; forbid me not to question what I already know. Command me now to resolve to sin no more and continue to guide me, lest I lose sight of you in the darkness of this world.

There is time yet remaining in this season, O Lord. With such precious time remaining, help me to reorder my life. Help me to turn back to You again and again at each moment, at every success, at every failure. With You, I am confident and unafraid. Without You, I must bear this sadness secretly and alone. Prepare me for battle. Remake my broken spirit, allow Your Holy Spirit to enter my heart and become a sword, one with which I may cut down all that hinders my relationship with You.

Help renew my resolve to pray and to seek You in Word and Sacrament. Do not permit me to become slothful or lazy. Teach me always to recognize Your presence in my best efforts, for surely You are all I want, and You are all I’ve ever needed. Amen.

Soldier Spotlight II: Discipline

2007-03-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

Due to a series of circumstances outside my control, I was not able to post the second Soldier Spotlight during the month of February. (Did anybody else realize February was only 28 days?) (Just kidding.) Therefore, I will post it in March. As I always say, better late than never.

So here it is at last, February's Soldier Spotlight!

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It's finally that time of year again; the season of Lent is finally here, and has been for some time now. If I've counted correctly, we're at about day... 25 (and that's including Sundays). Wow, we're not only in the season of Lent, we're half-way through it! So for all of you who have remained committed to your Lenten sacrifices, let that be a consolation to you, and for all of you who have let those Lenten resolutions fall by the wayside, let this be a reminder of the little time left remaining!

I thought that during this Lenten season, an appropriate topic to reflect on would be the virtue of discipline. Lent, as we Catholics know, is all about discipline. We don't eat meat on Fridays; we fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday; we take out a little extra from our paychecks; we spend more time on our knees; and, perhaps hardest of all, we keep from eating those triple chocolate cookies that were offered to us at the party. Yes, indeed, Lent is a time of discipline. The only problem with it, of course, is that most of us don't understand why. For most of us, Lent becomes a pointless ritual of giving up an unhealthy food. For those of us who try to do something "extra", it often becomes an excuse to start a new exercise routine.

To get some better understanding of discipline, I think a great place to start is in elementary school. Those of us who have been in a Catholic school, and even, to a lesser degree, in a Public School, can remember hearing about discipline at least once or twice, if not many times. It's a word we all directly associated with a punishment for bad behavior. For those of us who more recently attended elementary school, it meant a bit of shouting, writing lines, sitting in "time-out", receiving a detention, or even being suspended. For the older generation, it often meant a bit of physical pain as well. Regardless, this "discipline" which our teachers gave us was meant, in the most basic sense, to teach us the right way to behave. It was done so that we might learn to conduct ourselves with appropriate actions and therefore detach ourselves from mischievous tendencies.

Once we grow older, the responsibility of discipline no longer belongs to our teachers. It no longer belongs to our parents. It belongs to ourselves. No longer is it the responsibility of someone else to keep us from swearing or cursing or messing around. It's our own. If we say or do something wrong, it is no longer the fault of the teacher who failed to instruct us rightly; it is our own failure. That's why at 18, our parents are no longer responsible for our behavior. We have aged enough to assume full responsibility for what we choose to do and what we choose not to do. It is just so in our spiritual lives. At Baptism, our parents speak our Baptismal vows for us. At Confirmation, we renew them and make them our own. Therefore, discipline becomes our responsibility.

But why is discipline so important? Why do we make such a big deal about it during the Lenten season? To answer this, let's take a look at 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win. Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one. Thus I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing. No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.

In this Scripture passage, St. Paul talks about a race. He tells us that a runner "exercises discipline in every way". An athlete's discipline is all about the goal; it's all about winning the race. In order to win that race, he has to tear himself away from habits that might keep him from that goal, and he has to build up good habits that will help him achieve his goal. For instance, a runner will most likely discipline himself by choosing to avoid unhealthy foods and by choosing to exercise daily. If he does not discipline himself in this way, it is most likely that he will never achieve his goal; he will never win the race; he will be disqualified. Saint Paul reminds us that the runner is not without opponents. If he were, what would be the need for discipline? If no one else were challenging him, he could just walk the whole way. It wouldn't matter. But because he is up against such opposition, he needs to train his body and drive it to be the best it can be so that it might outlast his opponents.

In just the same way, as soldiers in a spiritual battle, we have a dire need of discipline. Just like in St. Paul's analogy, our need stems from the reality that we have opponents. Only, our spiritual opponents are much more potent, and therefore spiritual discipline is that much more important.

Last summer, a friend of mine went off to attend college at West Point. After just a few weeks of training, he could tell us all just what discipline meant to a soldier. He couldn't speak unless spoken to or given express permission to do so. He could only communicate with the outside world for an extremely limited portion of his life there. He could not wear his own clothes. He underwent extreme physical training and conditioning, and was allowed very little time to himself. In a sense, his discipline became so great that it transformed his life. His life was no longer lived for himself, but instead became part of a larger goal.

So it is for us as spiritual warriors. Discipline is meant to transform our lives so that we no longer live for ourselves, but instead, do everything for the greater glory of God. Discipline becomes the means through which our very identity as a soldier is assured. For, if we do not train ourselves accordingly, how can we become soldiers? If we are not ready to fight, how could we expect to win? If we are not transformed; if we continue to live our lives for ourselves, how can we truly be soldiers for Christ?

On Ash Wednesday, we recieve ashes on our foreheads as the priest says, "Turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel." During Lent, our goal is just that. To turn away from sin requires that we recognize sin as sin, and turn away from its occurence in our lives. This requires a transformation, and in order for us to achieve such a transformation, we must practice discipline. This is why discipline should be at the very heart of every Lenten sacrifice. If it is not, there is no transformation. There is no change. There is no effort to turn away from sin.

Lent is also a time to reflect on the person of Christ, our Commander. It is a time to renew within us the wonder and awe we should have for our Commander in Chief. It is a time to recall the suffering He endured at the hand of the enemy in order that we might survive the attack. We must remember the chance He gave us to be free of the enemy's grasp, and we must recall how, in the end, He conquered the enemy's strongest weapon; he conquered dea+h itself. These thoughts should only hasten our eagerness to be transformed, to become another beloved disciple of this great Commander who endured so much for his army.

It can be very easy to lose the focus of our Lenten discipline. Like I said earlier, many times, we use the disciplines of Lent to better ourselves for the sake of ourselves. This is quite contrary to what the spiritual goal of discipline is, and in many cases, can have rather negative effects. We must make sure that during Lent, our focus is always to better serve Jesus Christ, and not only during Lent. We should be practicing discipline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Lent is really just a special time to observe our disciplines and adjust or advance them as we see necessary.

Spiritual discipline should include detaching ourselves from material goods and earthly pleasures, devoting more time to prayer, keeping our bodies and minds healthy. Normally, you would not immediately think to include bodily health as a spiritual discipline, but it is in fact of some importance. St. Paul tells us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. If that is so, we must keep our bodies as healthy as possible. This allows us to do God's will as best we can, without any physical ailment getting in the way. This means that daily exercise and a nutrious diet can be spiritual discipline, but we must be careful always to remember why we do it. If we lose track of our goal, such discipline will likely become excessive and destructive.

Keeping our minds healthy requires that we constantly seek to educate ourselves with truth. This means we should avoid things that we know to be false, such as reading horoscopes, etc. and instead seek to read literature with Christian themes on a regular basis. It's also a good discipline to continually read up on Catholic doctrine, especially those concerning faith and morals. It is also very important to practice avoiding images and videos that would do us harm, such as offensively violent or 0graphic material. That means if there's an "iffy" movie playing in theatres that everyone's flocking to see, we stay home.

Devoting more time to prayer means that every morning and every night we get down on our knees. It means that even when we are very tired, we do not allow ourselves to fall asleep until we have acknowledged and thanked God for the day. It means that we consistently read Scripture and frequent the Sacraments. It also means that we try to do a little more every day; that we constantly give a little more effort than the day before.

St. Theresa and St. Dominic Savio both embraced a method of discipline known as the "Little Way". Through permitting themselves little inconveniencies throughout the day, they found themselves less attached to material goods and pleasures and more focused on discovering and carrying out God's will in their lives. Savio would often do things like wash his hands with cold water instead of warm water, keep his hands out of his pockets, or keep from leaning against the pew while kneeling. We can do the same. We should also avoid getting new clothes or items we don't need. The money we save could help others who need such things more than we do.

Most of the time, the reason we choose to avoid discipline is because it can be so very difficult. Especially in today's modern culture of indulgence, it is extremely difficult to say "no" to certain circumstances. However, the very fact that discipline can be so hard is what makes it so transforming, what makes a good soldier. If we can deny ourselves certain pleasures and comforts we would rather have, we become much stronger warriors. That is why in the Bible, discipline is often synonymous with wisdom. Sirach 6:18 tells us:

My son, from your youth embrace discipline; thus will you find wisdom with graying hair.

So let us together resolve to embrace discipline from this day forward, that we might discover true wisdom and be transformed into soldiers for Christ.

A Brief Intermission

2007-03-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Hello All!

It's not my habit to post a message like this without some other (better) reason, but I felt this was important enough to do so. For the next couple weeks, I'm planning to take an ever-so-brief hiatus in order to combat the enormous amount of activity suddenly overtaking my life. The duty of a Soldier 4 Christ is not only in words, but also in deeds. In fact, one could say that every aspect of our life is somehow involved. Even Calculus homework (yes, even that!) requires a soldier use both skill and virtue. (After all, isn't patience a virtue?)

On a more serious note, I was very recently given the high sign to continue on with my Eagle Scout Project, which involves constructing a Catholic Library at a neighboring parish. This will require a bit more of my time than usual, and I expect that the blog will lose out on that time. Please pray that all goes smoothly and that God's will is brought to fruition through such work.

I would continue to encourage all of you in the meantime to read previous posts and to comment on any you feel prompted to comment on. Then check back here on March 17 for the ever-belated Soldier Spotlight #2!

Until then,
May God Bless You and Our Blessed Mother protect you,
JBro

The Jesus Prayer

2007-02-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

A very simple prayer was once recommended to me in the Confessional; one widely known as the "Jesus Prayer". It is taken from the Gospel of Luke 18:10-14.

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, erers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'
"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'
"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Although altered slightly, the Jesus Prayer is the prayer of the tax collector:

"Jesus, Christ, Son of David, have mercy on me, a sinner."

Because it is so simple, the Jesus Prayer is ideal for moments of temptation or despair. It is on our lips when we need it most. It is also a prayer that can include different antiphons when they are most appropriate. For example:

"Jesus Christ, my All, have mercy on me, a sinner."
"Jesus Christ, Redeemer and Friend, have mercy on me, a sinner."
"Jesus Christ, Strength amidst weakness, have mercy on me a sinner."
"Jesus Christ, God of this moment, have mercy on me a sinner."

The point of this prayer is to accept the authority of Christ and to acknowledge that we are sinners, that we are incredibly weak. It helps us to live each moment in the virtue of humility.

When I am tempted by impure thoughts,
"Jesus Christ, Spotless Lamb, have mercy on me, a sinner."

When I stub my toe,
"Jesus Christ, Suffering Servant, have mercy on me a sinner."

When I am ridiculed,
"Jesus Christ, Patient and Forgiving, have mercy on me, a sinner."

When I feel discouraged,
"Jesus Christ, my Eternal Hope, have mercy on me, a sinner."

My Lenten discipline this year is to learn to use this prayer at every moment; to make it a "living prayer". My hope is that all you who read this will also try praying this prayer in moments when you need it most.

If anyone would like to leave their own antiphon, I highly encourage further use of the comment feature.

From the Archives: The Importance of Blessings

2007-02-22T12:20:00.000-08:00

This was a short essay I wrote on November 5, 2005 in response to an exam question:

How can water, or medals, or candles, or scapulars help us get to Heaven?

Sacramentals are things that resemble the sacraments externally. There are three types of sacramentals. The first are consecrations. The second are blessings. The third are exorcisms. The most common of these are blessings.

Blessings are used to confer special sacredness or grace to both animate and inanimate things. Therefore blessings can be applied to such objects as water, medals, candles, and scapulars. When such is the case, it may be said such objects help us get to heaven.

This is so because the blessings of these objects act as reminders to us of certain truths of our faith. For example, water takes on a new meaning after a blessing. It becomes a resemblance of eternal life and helps us remember our baptism. When blessed, medals are more than just decorative items; they become reminders of those whose image they bear. Some even bear promises made by Jesus and Mary. Blessed candles not only supply light but become constant reminders of the Eternal Light and our responsibility to that Light. Blessed scapulars, much like medals, bear the promise of Our Lady to aid us in our last hours, and constantly remind us to live in caution.

A common mistake made is to attribute these powers to the blessed item. This line of thought is what we call superstition. No, the power does not come from the object but from Him who is the source of all blessing, Jesus Christ.

And if this power is Christ’s, where else could it lead us but Heaven?

END

A Night of Grace

2007-02-21T12:27:00.000-08:00

Lord Jesus Christ,

I kneel here, listening for your voice. My eyes are shut and my hands are clasped tightly. All around me I hear storms of emotion breaking upon the sands of your awesome presence. They seem to have found you, my Lord, but I am still searching. Yes, Lord, it is true: I have lost myself. The current has carried me far away from Your Love. Every direction I turn I see nothing but the endless distress of a life lived only for my own gratification. I don’t recall how it happened, Lord. Once, I had lived with you. My life rested upon the solid grounds of your truth. Then, somehow, I wavered and fell into the waters of deception and complacency. In the years that followed, I returned to those waters again and again, in times when I grew frustrated with your will; in times when I chose to pursue my own course. Over time, I ventured further away. Even while I watched your Love grow more removed from my life, I continued to tell myself I could always turn around. I could always swim back to you. Now, I have at last lost my direction. I have finally allowed the current to overwhelm me, Lord. My strength is wavering. I cannot journey any farther. I find myself sinking in my own shame. Darkness closes in. I know not what to do.

In the darkness, I can see a hand. It is bruised and battered; covered in y filth. The back of it is resting along a roughly hewn wooden plank. Its fingers are tense. This man must be suffering incredible pain. Another hand appears. Clasping a nail, it holds it over the palm of the filthy one. I see the filthy hand tense even more as the cold iron makes contact. A third hand appears. This one is holding a hammer. I watch as it raises the hammer, waiting to thrust it downward. There, for a moment, the hand pauses. I take a closer look, and suddenly I am filled with dread. I recognize this hand. I have seen it before. It is my own. “No!” my mind shouts, “Stop!” I plead, but ever so slowly, my hand begins its downward thrust. All my efforts cannot even but slow it down. Images rush through my head; images of past offenses: sins of disobedience, sins of neglect, sins of impurity. All the while, this dreadful hammer continues to fall. The images multiply, and they fly by faster. My heart begins to race. I shut my eyes, and then I realize they are already shut. The hammer finds its end. A sound louder and more horrific than any other resounds through my ears. The nail is driven deep, and flows forth from the palm of the Hand. I try to run, but my feet will not move. I bury my head in my hands, and like a , I begin to sob. Like a soft, cleansing blanket, His falls about my shoulders. I make no attempt to throw it off. Again, I hear the awful noise sounding within my ears. My entire body begins to tremble. Once more I hear the hammer thrust the nail forward, until at last it has been driven straight through the wooden plank. I wait again for another sound, but none follows. The has now covered me completely, and in a strange miraculous way, it gives me comfort. Between my sobs, I take a breath. The air is sweet and rich. If ever mercy had a taste, this assuredly would be it. I cease my trembling and still my mind.

Lord,

I am still here; I am still kneeling before you. I believe I have heard you in the stillness of my heart, in the quiet of my mind. I have heard you call me to your Divine Mercy, to a life of contrition and repentance, fully trusting in your forgiveness. Lord, as I again become aware of the music and the people around me, I surrender to Your Will. I can see now, my dearest Jesus, just how much pain I have caused You through my sin, and just how unquenchable Your Love is, that you would accepted such pain, pain that was mine to bear. My sweet Jesus, safeguard within me this horror for sin, this detestation for the offenses I have committed against You. As I begin this journey back to Your Heart, help me to remember the which has comforted me. Help me to try harder, to give you my every effort through fasting, praying, and performing works of charity. Break the chains of a life of self-gratification, and show me what your sacrifice truly means for me. Never let me forget this night, Lord; a night on which you have allowed me to experience the glory of your mercy; a night on which you beckon me to follow you to Calvary and to learn true repentance.

AMEN

The Priest

2007-02-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

His Priesthood is from God
His foolishness is from himself
His courage is from Christ accepting the Chalice
His cowardice is from the fearing apostles
He must give, give, expend
listen and be patient,
care and show concern for others
He must lift others up,
He must console and heal and cure
The demands on his energies are endless
He must always be available
ready to let life happen to him,
ready to become involved in the tragic complications
and the deep misery and anguish of others
His rewards are great in the knowledge
that he tries to be another Christ
His anguish is greater because he is aware of his own failures in himself and in his relations with others
And his people, the people of God;
He must love as Christ asked him to love — and yet
he must hide his human love —
In this he is so easily misunderstood, misjudged
In this a sense of loneliness, aloneness can overwhelm him
Independent, he is expected to be self-sufficient
He falls on the way — few willing hands lift him up
He lapses — his lot is seldom one of sympathy
He can be weak and impatient — no one understands
In the midst of finance and administration
in his own mind his vision of priesthood can be lost
if he cannot see it himself
in this no one sympathizes
Drained from generosity — worn by his own selfishness
He needs your prayers as he stands alone
He is another Christ in spite of it all.

(These words were taken from an anonymous source and are not to be accredited to the author of this blog.)

Young Apostle Application Essays

2007-02-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

After attending the Steubenville East conference for two years now, I'm applying for their Young Apostle Leadership Team. The application had four essay questions, each to be answered in 250 words or less. I'm including them and my responses below.

1. Briefly describe your decision to follow Christ in your life.

My decision to follow Christ is a decision which gradually becomes more meaningful to me everyday. I have discovered that this decision requires surrendering to Him at each moment every aspect of my life: the times when I am proud, and the times when I am humiliated; the times when I abandon myself to His strength, and the times when I cling to my own weakness; the times when I falter, the times when I waiver, the times I want to run from His love, and the times when I feel I have nothing left to hold on to but the very knowledge that He is still there. This decision to follow Christ is a decision that costs me everything, even my life. I am only now beginning to understand this; that nothing in my life will ever be fulfilling if I do it for myself. A favorite expression of mine is Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam. Translated, it means “for the greater glory of God”. I write this on all my schoolwork to remind me why I’m in school. I reference it when I talk to others to remind myself why I speak. I continually try to understand what such words ask of me. Such a decision presupposes a struggle for purity, a contrite heart, and a willingness to pray. It also means following God’s will when it is not my own. Even when I don’t understand why He does what He does, I must let Him take the wheel.

2. Other than being involved in activities, how do you see yourself being a witness back in your home parish after being a young apostle?

After being a young apostle, I hope to continue being a witness through the way I live each day and by the way I associate with those I have daily contact with. I want to be known for my faith, but not only for my faith. I want people to see in me what it means to be a man; a real man. I want people to look at my life and see beyond it. My hope is that by my life others might be attracted to what God is offering them. To do this, I hope to remain close to the sacraments and to maintain an active prayer life. I will continue to choose friends who will hold me up and then to befriend those who seem lost and confused, uncertain and troubled. I will become more active in my school, take a public stand on moral issues, and invite more people to come to youth group. I will do even the little things, like saying grace before meals, using the courage which God gives me through his Holy Spirit.

3. Name one person, other than a parent, who inspired your faith. Please elaborate.

There are so many people I am indebted to for inspiring within me the faith I hold so dear. In fact, there are probably more than I am aware of. One person who has and continues to inspire my faith is my cousin Michael. Michael is half a year younger than I am and is the fourth of nine children. Since we were very young, we both enjoyed singing. Often when we were together, we would record liturgical songs on cassette tapes. Today, we both still enjoy singing together when given the chance. More importantly, however, we have become best friends. We are both able to confide in one another and learn from what the other has to say. I can always turn to him when I need assistance. Because we are not able to see each other much we talk on the phone very frequently. One particular subject we often converse about is, of course, music. I am a Christian Alternative enthusiast, while he prefers traditional classical pieces. We often argue whether or not Christian Alternative is an appropriate form of music for worship. However, instead of trying to win the argument, we try to better understand one another and then look into the matter further. His maturity in dealing with such conversation amazes and inspires me. When talking with him, I am also moved at his innocence and simplicity of heart. I often tell him, I have much to learn from him, and it is very true.

Finish this sentence: I want to be a Young Apostle because...

...I want to learn how to persevere in prayer, maintain innocence and purity in my life, more effectively evangelize my peers, and deepen my understanding of service and humility.

An Outline of Prayer

2007-02-11T16:49:00.000-08:00

About a month ago, I was asked to give a witness at a Confirmation class tonight. Soon after I was asked, I made a holy hour, searching for inspiration as to what to talk about. While I was there, I covered a sheet of looseleaf paper front and back with scribbles and half-ideas which I wanted to touch upon. Yesterday, I was busy putting them in a legible meaningful arrangement in the form of an outline. When it was finally finished, it was nearly four typed pages long. Needless to say, I was forced to use the abbreviated version for the ten minutes I spoke.

I have decided, therefore, to post the outline on the blog so as to hopefully encourage visitors to use the comment feature which this blog now supports. You can leave a comment simply by clicking on the comment button at the lower right hand corner of the post. From there, it is self explanatory. Commenting allows you to ask questions, leave a remark, or give your own take on what I've written. I would encourage that all visitors share their own tory concerning prayer. Can't think of what to say? That's what the outline's here for. Use it to help you brainstorm. Thanks in advance to all who contribute. I will be checking in daily to answer any questions you might leave.

May God Bless You and Our Blessed Mother protect you,
JBro

I Introduction
1) Name / age / grade / parish...
2) I’m a beginner – still not very good with prayer
3) I’m really no different than you

II Basics
1) Prayer isn’t about bowling a strike / winning a tournament
2) It’s about an intimate relationship between you and God
3) Just Acknowledging God for who He is
4) Helps us on a level beyond comprehension
5) It involves developing a prayer LIFE
- Change
- Progress
6) Maturity in prayer = holiness / i.e. the saints
7) However looking holy is different than being holy

III Importance
1) Prayer is a BIG deal!
- Life-changing
- Fulfilling
2) IMPORTANT for youth
3) Prayer shapes our lives; prepares
4) Helps us remember why we’re here
5) It gives God his due
- Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam (AMDG)
6) We have a responsibility to pray; a duty

IV How to Start
1) The goal: “Pray Unceasingly”
2) Keep at like brushing your teeth
3) Pray with others
- With family
- With friends
- Youth Group
- With peers of the same gender; especially guys
4) Praying on your own
5) Learning to converse with God as a friend
6) Take time to be inspired by Creation
7) Making silence amidst noise – hard but possible
8) Praying at school
9) It’s best to set up formal prayers throughout the day; keeps the day ordered

V Various Formal Prayers
1) The Our Father
- THE Example all other prayers follow
2) Divine Mercy
3) Consecration
4) Morning Prayer
5) The Psalms
6) Litanies
7) Way of the Cross
8) Novenas
9) Jesus Prayer
- “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me a sinner.”

VI What to Pray For
1) For Courage
- To be a Soldier 4 Christ
- Keep us from backing down; from being weak
2) For Protection
3) For purity / chastity
4) For souls in need (especially in Purgatory)
5) For those we have contact with each day
- Both friends and associates
- Even stranger in the mall
6) Bring God promised prayers

VII “Living Prayer”
1) When you’re involved in activities throughout the day
2) True Worship = “What I am for you”
3) Offering up suffering as a prayer
4) Being obedient
5) When left alone with your thoughts
- In failures ask: what’s your will?
- In confusion ask: what’s this mean?
6) Out loud – in the car
7) Morning Dilemma: Where do I pray?
- In bed; more difficult to stay awake
- Discipline yourself – get out of bed
- Takes an act of will
- The Mirror Trick
8) Forming Prayer
- Knees (use them while you’re young)
- Staying awake but closing eyes
- Keeping my hands unoccupied
9) Prayer will always require effort
10) Distractions in Prayer
- Occur often
- We must not entertain them and not be discouraged
11) Praying in Public
- Afraid of public display / i.e., siblings
- Time and a place for public prayer: Marching
- Saying grace before meals

VIII Sacraments! & Prayer
1) Confession (Huge!)
- Examination of Conscience
2) Communion = Eucharist
- Praying at the Elevation
> Gazing upon the Eucharist in faith
> “My Lord and my God!”
- Thanksgiving & Petition
> Accepting God’s Answer – not forcing one upon him
> Brings us increased gratitude for what we have
- We MUST pray for priests (and follow their example)
3) Pure Eucharistic Adoration
- Learning not to Monologue
- Understanding God’s language is Silence
- Meditation – Contemplation
> Precious – Sacred Heart
> The Last Hours of Christ
> The Nails
- Particularly powerful on a retreat
- Holy Hour or even just a Visit
4) Daily Mass = Best
5) Getting to Masses on weekends is crucial
- We must put effort into Mass
- Serving Mass is a wonderful privilege – you’re so close
- Singing = Praying Twice
- Using Latin’s romanticism to help silence our hearts

IX Different ways of Praying
1) Inciting reflection using Christian Music – Praying with your iPod
- Unchanging
- Your Grace Is Enough
- “Thank you even then”
2) Listening to talks
3) Writing – My Blog
4) Reading Scripture & Drawing Motivation from it
- No two times reading scripture alike
5) Other Spiritual Reading

X Seasons of Prayer
1) Praying in the worst & best of times
2) Emotion in Prayer – sometimes but not always
- Brought to Tears; outward sign of remorse
- Smiling
3) Concept of Passion and Desert
- We constantly experience Discouragement & Encouragement interchangeably
- Desert is hard but crossing it is worth it
4) My Confirmation & the role of Holy Spirit
- I am given the strength I need to overcome any obstacle
- I need to ask for that grace; not given without my asking
5) Praying amidst temptation – hard
6) But praying when it is most difficult is most important
7) After falling into sin
- We must face our sins
- Act of Contrition
- Work to overcome guilt & shame
- Prayer fosters repentance
- Helps us grow in Innocence

XI Persistence in Prayer
1) Ask for gifts – acknowledge your dependence on God
2) Discernment can only be properly done through prayer
3) Resolve – it’s a necessary step in learning to pray
4) Fosters Humility – Pride can get in the way if we slack off
5) The “Love Issue”
- We can never love God as we ought
- But we must try

XII Help for the Journey
1) Patron Saints
2) Saint Michael
3) Blessed Mother
- Hail Mary
- ROSARY
> Meditation is the objective of repetition
> Best done daily if possible
> Something to hold onto; helps us focus
> Beads
> Crucifix

XIII Sharing our Prayer with Others
1) We should be open with others who are sincere
2) We should adopt a friend for whom we make ourselves spiritually responsible
3) Request Prayer from others
4) ...Please pray for me

Five-Minute Break

2007-02-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

Let me take a five minute break from all this work to get myself refocused.

Homework can be really trying sometimes. I get home from school and put it off as long as possible, because I know the effort and level of output it requires. Plain and simple, it's exhausting. One hour turns into four, and before I know it, my whole day seems to have been consumed by schoolwork. On days like this, I often get discouraged because it just takes me so long to get it all done. Many times I don't get it all done. I get so frustrated, I put it off until the morning, and then I reason sleeping one hour longer is more important.

Sweet Jesus, help me to remember why I'm doing all this. It's ultimately not for me. If it was, what worth would it have? This is all for you; to give you glory in doing the best I can. Sometimes doing my best means getting uncomfortable; sometimes it means sitting in my chair for four hours with a notebook and a pencil. But if that's what it takes to praise you, my Creator and Redeemer, then that's what I must do.

A lot of times, I can be rebellious. I forget that this really has any purpose at all. I forget that the primary purpose of my education is to search for Your Truth, the Truth that you have made me yearn for from my youth, the Truth that will one day set me free. Sometimes I want it all for myself. I want to be the best, not the best that I can be, but just better than everyone else. Keep me away from pride. Pride makes me feel empty and constantly brings me anxiety. Help me to find you in this schoolwork so that I remember what I am doing.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam. I must always remember that this is for your glory, Lord. Not mine. Help me to be diligent and disciplined. Help me to be humble and honest. Help me to find traces of your Love even in the most trying situations, especially within this homework. Grant me the privilege of offering up this annoyance for the intentions held most dear to your Sacred Heart.

Give me the strength to keep going, to fight the good fight, and to finish the race!

Amen.

From the Archives: Regarding Sacred Scripture

2007-02-05T13:53:00.000-08:00

This was an essay I wrote on December 5, 2005. It was my first Theology Paper during my Sophmore year:

During a Mass, there are two liturgies. The first is called the Liturgy of the Word, and the second is called the Liturgy of the Eucharist. While referring to the Mass, one most commonly associates it with the latter of these: the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Perhaps the reason for this is that the second liturgy contains the reception of a sacrament, which is, in fact, the climax and primary purpose of the Mass.

Still, it is vital we do not overlook the importance of the Liturgy of the Word. For within that first liturgy, God is just as present as he is within the host after the Consecration. This is because the passages read aloud from Sacred Scripture are incarnate and living: they contain the Truth, which is infinite and everlasting. Sacred Scripture is commonly conveyed as the Word of God, which is meant as the expression of God himself who is Truth.

Although Sacred Scripture was written by various different men, God is the author, for the Church holds that the Holy Spirit inspired the writers to write only what God wished to be written. The Holy Spirit did not dictate the form or style of the works. There are historic, poetic, and even prophetic works all encompassed within the unity of Sacred Scripture.

How, then, are we to understand Scripture if Truth is not bluntly stated within it? The answer is Tradition. From the times of the apostles, the Church has interpreted and taken certain passages of Scripture to teach certain truths. The Magisterium, or teaching authority of the Church, serves Sacred Scripture by relaying to us her message of Truth in light of the same Holy Spirit who inspired the sacred writers.

Through this cooperation with the living transmission of Tradition, in and through the Magisterium, Sacred Scripture acts as an instrument of salvation and the source of saving truth and moral discipline. This is well illustrated in the Church practice of a homily after the Gospel during the Liturgy of the Word at Mass. After proclaiming God's own Word in Sacred Scripture, the priest in a sense "decodes" the Truth conveyed within through use of these tools past on from their very Apostolic Institutions.

God's gift of Sacred Scripture is the fullness of his Revelation. Within it, Scripture contains all that God has chosen to reveal to us. Its unity is in the crowning glory of Jesus Christ. Through the need, expectation, and fulfillment of redemption, the Scriptures remain a holy mystery of God's providence for his adopted children.

Perhaps now with this newfound understanding of the importance of Sacred Scripture, when we hear the reader at Mass exclaim, "The Word of the Lord", we will have all the more reason to proclaim with awe and wonder, "Thanks be to God!"

END

Whisper

2007-02-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Shaking;
The whole world is shaking.
Like a lullaby of death
It lulls me to sleep.

The earth is soft.
Footprints follow me,
Chasing me away
From who I should be.

The air grows heavy;
Warmth like a blanket
Whose entwined fibers
Make me gasp for breath.

Knowledge condemns me
It seves me well,
But from behind
It plots my grief.

I turn up the music
Listening, waiting,
The roar deafens me
Ensnaring my mind.

But then a whisper
Silent and eager
Beckons me, come;
It holds out a hand.

Like a light
Brilliant and free,
My heart is ablaze.
Wisdom has shown me truth.

Grace;
It drenches my soul.
Weightless as the mist,
It fulfills me.

The rock is strong;
a support for my feet.
I can walk reassured
That I am made to be.

Immovable and resounding,
Heaven bears life.
With the smallest of whispers
It awakens my soul.

Soldier Spotlight I: Aggression in Spiritual Warfare

2007-01-24T18:07:00.000-08:00

In order to provide something a little extra during 2007, I’m starting a mini-series of 12 “Soldier Spotlights”. Every month this year, I’m going to be writing a specific reflection in regards to Spiritual Warfare. I think this will be a great opportunity to express the true character of this blog. Hopefully, it will also give you something to check up on every now and then!

Also, please forgive the lengthy periods of inactivity. Exams finally ended today and there hasn’t been much time for posting. But don’t worry, I’m still here. You haven’t gotten rid of me yet!

And now, I give you January’s Soldier Spotlight.

Until Next Time,
May God Bless You and Our Blessed Mother protect you,
JBro

This is a photo of Sir Andrew the Armor-Bearer. He was a gift from my younger siblings on my Confirmation Day. You may think it kind of strange that I open this first “Soldier Spotlight” reflection with a picture of a teddy-bear. (Trust me, I would too if I didn’t know where this was going.) However, I want you to take a good look at him. Scroll back up the page if you’ve cut his head off. If you can pick out the obvious, you’ll notice that Sir Andrew is wearing armor, the armor described in Ephesians 6:

Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power.
Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil.
For our struggle is not with flesh and but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.
Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.
So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,
and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.
In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all (the) flaming arrows of the evil one.
And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
With all prayer and supplication, pray at every opportunity in the Spirit. To that end, be watchful with all perseverance and supplication for all the holy ones
and also for me, that speech may be given me to open my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel
for which I am an ambassador in chains, so that I may have the courage to speak as I must.

This generation has lost the meaning of what spiritual warfare is. Most of us have forgotten that we have an enemy at all. I love getting into discussions about this at school. It’s hard to believe how many people write the devil off as if he were some kind of ancient myth used to frighten Christians into some kind of overbearing morality. Most Americans refuse to accept the reality of evil; they refuse to acknowledge the fact that we can, in fact, be damned; they denounce, with a majority vote, the concept of sin and the idea that Satan is daily leading us into temptation. This, I do believe is one of Satan’s greatest triumphs in the world. He has clouded our minds so much that we cannot even recognize our own enemy.

One of the most crucial places to learn this truth is in the home; as a child safe in the loving environment of a family. You know how small boys are. If a branch breaks off a tree, it becomes a sword. The first thing they grab in the toy aisle is the plastic gun. A lot of parents today get a little paranoid when it comes to this. They do their best to keep their children from anything violent. They raise their children as anti-confrontational, peace-loving pacifists who have been locked up in a closet all their lives, but as often is the case, when the closet door is finally opened, these new young men don’t know how to react to the reality of an imperfect world which can harm us. They can easily fall into depression, troubled and misguided.

That isn’t to say that striving for peace is wrong. Quite to the contrary! But sooner or later, we’ve got to realize that peace doesn’t just happen on its own, and that the battle, spiritually speaking, is going to last our entire lives. This is what children should be taught from day one. I’m not saying let them rip each other apart; I’m saying that parents should nurture a safe biblical aggression against sin within their children by allowing them to use safe visual parallels.

This is perhaps why I love Sir Andrew so much. He’s a teddy bear; the perfect companion of a two-year old trying to get to sleep. Every morning that two-year old wakes up and sees a teddy-bear clad in armor with a cross upon his breastplate, we’ve already got ideas forming in his head about what it means to be a Christian. He associates being Christian with fighting a battle.

As Paul says, the battle Christians undertake is not waged against other men and women, our brothers and sisters, but against principalities, powers, and the world rulers of this present darkness, namely the “Prince of this World”. We do battle by confronting temptation, by learning to recognize occasions of sin, and training ourselves to say “no”. We do battle by confronting corrupt politics, bad science, erroneous education, and anti-Catholicism head on.

A necessary component in our attempt to fight is aggression. I went to a varsity basketball game tonight. It doesn’t take long to figure out that aggression is a key element in the game. If you don’t put your whole physical and mental capacity in the game, you’re going to get bulldozed. If you want to get the ball, you’ve got to step up. It’s not a matter of staying put and waiting for it to get passed to you. You’ve got to move around and get open. There’s just no other way to do it. If you’re on defense, you’ve got to get your hands in their face. If not, they’ve got a free pass to the basket, and you’re two more down.

Aggression applies to our spiritual lives just as much. In temptation, just sitting there and being complacent is going to get you wounded. Get up! Move around! Keep on your toes! Don’t let Satan run you over. Run from those occasions of sin. You don’t want to turnover your soul in such a critical moment of the fight. If you find yourself stuck, wrestle your way free. Don’t just give up. It’s not just a ball in a game. It’s your soul in a war of eternal repercussions.

Another great weapon of the enemy is to trap our souls in habitual sin. It’s like running the ball into the same trap time and time again. It can be extremely frustrating. Step up. Make a holy hour. Get to Mass on the weekdays. Get to confession. Pray increasingly: the Rosary, the Divine Mercy. Use the weapons you have. Find practical ways around your weakness. Step in there and tear it up! Tap into all your resources, don’t leave one unexplored.

When you see oppression, injustices, and corruption, charge forward in confidence. Write letters and editorials. Make your voice heard. Keep marching onward. Do not let your complacency wound more unnecessary victims. Attack threats where you find them. Fight on their ground.

Aggression – simple concept; difficult to keep up. That’s why we must always pray for the energy necessary to continue being aggressive. We should also pray in particular for our priests and bishops, our commanders, that they might be a shining example for us to follow. Most importantly, we must pray fervently that all new priests learn to be aggressive, to fight for the Church and the increased attacks which Satan hopes to devour them with. We must pray that they find their place in the battle without losing themselves amidst the confusion.

So let’s get out there and have at it, soldiers!

From the Archives: The Abortion Debate

2007-01-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

On this sad anniversary of Roe v. Wade, let us all pray for the unborn, mothers considering abortion or pressured to have abortions, doctors and nurses who perform abortions, and all those who are active in the pro-life movement; especially those in Washington for the March for Life. The following essay was originally written on March 11, 2005.

Also, check out http://www.michaelclancy.com/ for an amazing picture.

In our culture today, many things once condemned and unthought-of in the previous century have become commonplace today. One of the most terrifying examples of this reality is abortion. Since January 22, 1973, abortion has been both lawfully accepted and eagerly encouraged by senators, doctors, teachers, and the media. New generations, guided by their predecessors, have therefore become accustomed to such a terrible act. What was known as a great evil has now been disguised as “the best option”. This is both immoral and unacceptable. Our country needs to recognize this and undo the great evil it has spread.

One of the reasons many people practice abortion is because they either have not been presented with or have overlooked their options. These people need to know that there are alternatives! If a single mother is unable to care for her child, she can always give her child up for adoption. Adoption is an infinitely better solution than abortion. Those afraid of giving up their children to an unknown future need only to realize that an aborted child has no future at all.

There are about two million couples waiting to adopt a child, and would gladly take two or three if they were available. Many couples will even take hard-to-place children with special needs, but unfortunately for them, fifteen hundred thousand of those children are murdered each year, and only about fifty thousand are available. If most mothers knew the type of warm, loving households that were looking for a child like their own; they would never end up having an abortion.

Some may argue that aborted children may aid in new stem cell treatments. Here, it is important to note that there have been no actual such treatments derived from embryonic stem cell research. On the other hand, the use of adult stem cells in such research has resulted in fifty-six different treatments for various problems ranging from Brain Cancer to Spinal Cord Injury.

Some others may argue that abortion helps end overpopulation. To this, I am inclined to explain that overpopulation is a hoax. The reason for this “overpopulation” is because of the extension on life expectancy in the past few years. Immigration to the U.S. also adds to the gradual increase. Therefore, birth rate is not the only decisive factor. If anything, abortion helps to weaken the population. This may not be so prevalent in the United States, but in other countries that lack constant immigration such as Italy, workers can hardly support the retired and fewer are born than those who die. Even if we fail to observe the causes of “overpopulation”, it is clear that there is still enough room.

Abortion has consequences other than the death of a child, many that are not self-evident before one makes the decision to receive an abortion. In many cases, abortion is followed by post-abortion trauma, which is extremely stressful to the mother and is a feeling of guilt she can never quite heal. That doesn’t leave out the father either. He may also experience the great pang of guilt once he has recommended or encouraged the murder of his child.

Abortion, supposedly given as a cure for social problems has done quite the contrary. In 20 years, illegitimate births have increased almost 16%; the violent crime rate per 100,000 has more than doubled to 73; and teen suicide rates have risen to 11.3%. Abortion has also given rise to a greater immorality and selfishness among daily life in America. The “right to choose” has ultimately given America a new attitude, not of charity and lawfulness, but of selfishness and crime.

The fundamental argument, though, does not involve side effects or remedies. It involves the identity of the fetus within the mother’s womb. The Supreme Court merely states that it is a not a “legal person”, and therefore cannot be protected by the state. Yet, scientific studies show that the fetus in the mother’s womb is biologically unique from the mother because its DNA is not the same as the mother. The conclusion we can draw from science is that the fetus is recognizably human by its features and is a unique life separate from the mother; it is a human life.

Another infamous day in our country’s history was March 6, 1857, when the Supreme Court passed the Dred Scott Decision; ruling once and for all that black people were not “legal persons”. This then defined all blacks as property and gave the owner the right to buy, sell, and kill their slaves as they liked. Thankfully, years later, our country slowly began to recover from the dreadful evil they enforced. Now even segregation of both races is unlawful. The Supreme Court’s decision may have made the ownership of blacks legal, but it did not make it right. In the same way, the Court’s decision to declare the unborn to be inhuman does not change the truth.

By allowing abortion, our country contradicts its very foundation. The right to life, clearly administered in the Declaration of Independence, has been rejected to the smallest among us, just as the right of liberty was rejected to blacks many years ago. Without life, there is nothing else. A dead person cannot enjoy liberty nor happiness if he does not live.

It is ridiculous for a country founded in Christianity to legalize an evil so as to avoid imposing religion on its citizens. Most people will complain that by making abortion illegal, we are imposing our Christian morality on them. Yet, may I ask, what right that person has to impose his or her morality upon their unborn child? And the consequence is far worse. The Natural Law must precede our own personal beliefs. Otherwise, society has no way in which to defer good from evil.

As Catholics, it is our duty to recognize each of our unborn brothers and sisters as a child of God; each with a human soul that is with him even from the moment of conception. Therefore, an unborn child is never just a possession of the mother, able to be disposed at her pleasure. There is no “choice”. This belief in the humanity and individuality of each unborn child should ultimately lead us to recognize that abortion is truly a gross evil.

Simply put, abortion is murder. It takes away the life of a religiously, scientifically, and truthfully defined human person. This fact alone should lead us to reason that abortion is a direct evil and an intolerable action, that should not be permitted either in this country or in any other. The illusion of the political definition of an “illegitimate person” has already been proven false and therefore is an unreliable statement. As a violation to the Natural Law, abortion deserves to be made illegal.

If you’ve been born since 1973, consider yourself lucky. If your parents had ever decided that you were an inconvenience, they need only to turn to a specialist. Of course, it’s no big deal. Besides, you weren’t legally human yet, and they only had so much time to dispose of their inconvenience. They had the right to kill you.

END

The Cornerstone of America (Part III)

2007-01-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

This third great idea, the promotion of civil liberty, then, is very much a Christian, and more specifically, a Catholic idea. It was the Catholics who rallied for religious liberty the most, because the states, which were primarily Protestant, continued to persecute them even after the founding of the country. In 1789, the first Bishop of the United States, John Carroll, congratulated Washington on his presidency saying, “We pray for the preservation of them [full rights for Catholics] where they have been granted and expect the full extension from the justice of those states which will restrict them.” (Carroll, 135) Washington, in a following address to the Roman Catholics of the nation, stated:

"I presume that your fellow-citizens will not forget the patriotic part which you took in the accomplishment of their revolution and the establishment of their government; or the important assistance which they received from a nation in which the Roman Catholic religion is professed.
And may the members of your Society in America, animated alone by the pure spirit of Christianity, and still conducting themselves as the faithful subjects of our free government, enjoy every temporal and spiritual felicity." (Washington, as cited in Hutson, 44)

As Washington reminded them, the people of the United States were largely indebted to Roman Catholicism and the help of its members. In fact, most of the American ideas of Civil Liberty come from Catholic doctrine. Reverend Richard Gilmour, a Catholic priest, describes what principles Catholicism has lent to America:
First, That our house is our castle; second, That no one can be imprisoned except by due process of law; third, No representation, no taxation; fourth, Trial by jury; fifth, Fixed courts; sixth, Habeas Corpus. These six propositions contain the sum of all we mean by civil liberty, and they constitute the basis of all our constitutions, state or national. If we add a seventh, “that all men shall be free to worship God according to the dictates of their consciences,’’ we have all that constitutes our civil and religious liberty and that gives us all the freedom we have. (Gilmour, 148)

The impact of Christianity upon America is often highly underestimated, and Christianity itself is very much misunderstood in today’s day and age. It is not a hindrance of American ideals, it is their fulfillment. The belief in a higher power, leading a moral life, and promoting civil liberty; all these things are etched onto the very foundation of America. They are a part of who we are. If we choose to neglect them now, we choose to corrode the very Pillars which hold us up. By rejecting them, we embrace our own destruction. For I ask you, what will uphold us, if the cornerstone is lost?

END

WORKS CITED

Carroll, Anne. Christ and the Americas. Rockford: Tan Books and Publishers, Inc., 1997.
This high school American history text is one written with the particular purpose of illustrating what America owes to the Catholic Church. It is the sequel to Christ the King – Lord of History.

Church, Forrest. The American Creed: A Spiritual and Patriotic Primer. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2002.
Written by a Unitarian Minister, this book is described as the “timely biography of the Declaration of Independence”. It sets out to show how closely faith and freedom are intertwined.

Congress. “The Northwest Ordinance.” Our Nation’s Archive. Ed. Erik Bruun and Jay Crosby. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 1999. 156-159.
Passed in 1787, this Act of Congress settled terms for the creation of new states in the federal territory northwest of the Ohio River. Among other achievements, it encouraged “religion, morality, and knowledge.”

de Tocqueville, Alexis. “Alexis de Tocqueville: American Notes.” The Annals of America. Ed. Mortimer J. Alder. Vol. 5. Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc., 1968. 482-505.
This French author visited the United States in 1831 and traveled through it for the next nine months keeping a notebook of his conversations and impressions. This journal developed into the classic work Democracy in America.

Dickinson, John. “Observations on the Constitution.” Our Nation’s Archive. Ed. Erik Bruun and Jay Crosby. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 1999. 172-174.
In this article, written in April of 1788, Dickinson argues in favor of the new Constitution. He argues that preserving liberty requires a sacrifice of freedom.

Gilmour, Richard. “What America Owes to the Church.” American Cardinal Readers. Ed. T. Adrian Curtis. Vol. 7. Long Prairie: The Neumann Press, 1996. 147-152.
In this article, Reverend Richard Gilmore sets out to disprove the common belief that Catholics have contributed nothing to the formation of the country and its government. He talks specifically about the influence of the Magna Charta.

Hutson, James. The Founders on Religion: A Book of Quotations. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005.
This collection of quotations from our Founding Fathers gives incite into what their positions were in regards to America and religion. Although it is an impartial collaboration, it is extremely Christian.

Paine, Thomas. “These Are the Times That Try Men’s Souls.” Our Nation’s Archive. Ed. Erik Bruun and Jay Crosby. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 1999. 135-136.
In his second great pamphlet of the American Revolution written in December 1776, Paine reaffirms the American cause in the midst of several consecutive defeats. He kept the price of the pamphlet low in order to make it more accessible.

Washington, George. “Rules of Civility.” Our Nation’s Archive. Ed. Erik Bruun and Jay Crosby. New York: Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Inc., 1999. 107-109.
Washington wrote these rules as a young man, deriving them from a French book of etiquette. He memorized them and all his life tried to live by them.

The Cornerstone of America (Part II)

2007-01-05T11:52:00.000-08:00

Alexis de Tocqueville was a Frenchman who visited the United States in 1831 and traveled through it for nine months, developing a journal of his conversations and impressions of the new country. During one of his conversations with Mr. Poinsett, he asked him if American morals were as good as was said. Mr. Poinsett answered him,
There is laxity in the lower classes of society, but otherwise morals are excellent everywhere. I have never seen anything that one can compare to this state of affairs in any of my travels. There is nothing like it in England. The people and the upper classes in England are very disorderly in their morals; morality is only found in the middle classes. (Tocqueville, 499)

Tocqueville then proceeded to ask him if such a state of morals reacted on the political state of society. Mr. Poinsett answered very positively, declaring that morality gave the politicians habits of order and morality which served to bridle political passions. Tocqueville continued to ask him what impact religion had on politics. Mr. Poinsett answered,

"I think that the state of religion in America is one of the things that most powerfully helps us to maintain our republican institutions. The religious spirit exercises a direct power over political passions, and also an indirect power by sustaining morals." (Tocqueville, 499)

In an interview with Mr. Gallatin, de Tocqueville was assured “Conjugal fidelity is admirably secure.” (Tocqueville, 484) In his own observations, he recorded that “the last word in the way of an association seems to be the temperance societies...” These societies he described to be groups of men who, together with one another, agreed to abstain from a certain vice and gathered strength from one another in order to fight temptations. He remarked that “the effect of temperance societies is one of the most notable things in this country.” (Tocqueville, 492)

Such observations made by Tocqueville show that morality was by no means a weak part of American society. In his Farewell Address, Washington described religion and morality as “indispensable supports” and the “great Pillars of human happiness”. (Washington as cited in Hutson, 193) John Adams goes so far as to say that Christianity is essential to morals. (Adams as cited in Hutson, 147) He elaborates upon this idea elsewhere when he says, “There is no such thing [morality] without a supposition of a God. There is no right or wrong in the universe without the supposition of a moral government and an intellectual and moral governor.” (Adams as cited in Hutson, 146) With this statement, Adams expands the relationship between religion and morality. He tells us that if certain things can be right and others can be wrong, we have, in fact, a morality, and if that is so, we have evidence of God, for morality cannot exist without God. A third statement will complete Adam’s idea regarding these matters: “Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” (Adams, as cited in Hutson, 76)

Here, Adams makes a strong point, which very much serves to strengthen this idea of living a moral life. The American form of government was established as a republic. In a republic, anyone elected to a position of authority will reflect the moral values of the people as a whole. If moral values were to decline or if religion were to be abandoned, then the values of the rulers would also decline. If that were to happen, then rulers would look for ways to subvert or simply ignore the checks and balances of the constitution, and would render it worthless. (Carroll, 129) This is why Adams says what he says. He knows that the failure of our constitution would be “the fault of those who ask, ‘Is it constitutional?’ instead of asking, ‘Is it in harmony with natural law and with the law of God?’” (Carroll, 129)

In many ways, America has already begun experiencing a decline. The general attitude of society has shifted from the religious fervor of Adams’ time period to a relative secularism. The power of the judicial branch of government has grown much larger than originally intended, and the executive branch has also gathered much strength, both at the expense of the legislative. Fundamental national ideals are being brought into question. The right of religious expression is denied citizens within the public arena. Diseases and disorders are becoming much more common. Family structures are being torn apart. Society is a web of confusion. All of this serves to prove just how crucial morality is for America; when the resolve to live a moral life is weakened, the nation experiences a decline.

Benjamin Rush once wrote to John Adams saying, “By renouncing the Bible, philosophers swing from their moorings upon all moral subjects... All systems of religion, morals, and government not founded upon it must perish...” (Rush as cited in Hutson, 26) Elsewhere, he says,

"...the only foundation for a useful education in a republic is to be laid in Religion. Without this there can be no virtue, and without virtue there can be no liberty, and liberty is the object and life of all republican governments." (Rush as cited in Hutson, 95)

Admittedly, these sayings at first seem to contradict themselves. The founding fathers unanimously agreed on the establishment of freedom of religion, yet here they talk of Christianity as if it were a national religion. Alexander Hamilton described this dilemma in a draft of Washington’s Farewell Address. He wrote, “Can we in prudence suppose that national morality can be maintained in exclusion of religious principles? Does it not require the aid of a generally received and divinely authoritative Religion?” (Hamilton, as cited in Hutson, 147)

It is here, in this uncertainty, where the ideas of Christianity will again come to our aid. The role of the government is to organize and sustain society, not to enforce religion. The supreme law of the land must be rooted in the natural law, for natural law governs our interaction with each other. From it, the government must derive rules and consequences for social circumstances. It cannot, however, hold citizens accountable for their personal decisions; those which do not involve others. In such cases, the person can only be accountable to God. This is why religious fervor was so highly encouraged among the founding fathers. Because they could not enforce the Christian faith, they knew how necessary it would be for the people to practice it on their own. Martin Marty said it well:

"I do affirm it to be against the testimony of Christ Jesus for the civil state to impose upon the soul of the people a religion, a worship, a ministry. The state should give free and absolute permission of conscience to all men in what is spiritual alone. Ye have lost yourselves! Your breath blows out the candle of liberty in this land." (Marty, as cited in Church, 147)

To be concluded...

The Cornerstone of America (Part I)

2007-01-04T12:19:00.000-08:00

This eight-page report is an essay I have just completed for US History and Government. Because of it's length, I am dividing it into three parts, much like I did last year with my report on Dominic Savio. Despite its length, I assure you that reading this essay is extremely worth your while. There are a plethora (great word!) of quotes which I have cited within that can be very helpful in our effort to evangelize.

For more than two hundred years, the United States of America has been blessed with overwhelming success. Its achievements and accomplishments are far beyond any this world has ever seen. Why is that? How could a republic enjoy such enormous success? What is so unique about the American government that would allow it to become so great? From what influence does it derive its character? To find the answers we seek, we must probe the foundations of America; the principles placed there by our founding fathers. We must tear away the closed-mindedness of the modern age and wipe away false impressions. We must persevere in understanding the wisdom of the designers and the thoughts which brought forth such stability. Through such a search, we can expect to discover three great ideas etched upon the foundation of America: first, the belief in a higher power; second, the resolve of living a moral life; and third, the promotion of civil liberty. We shall find that these ideas are interwoven, one among another and that not one of them can be excluded from the other two. Then, at the end of our search, through reading and interpreting these inscriptions, we shall discover that Christianity is indeed the cornerstone of America.

In 1815, Thomas Jefferson remarked that “we are not in a world ungoverned by the laws and power of a superior agent. Our efforts are in his hand and directed by it; and he will give them their effect in his own time.” (Jefferson as cited in Hutson, 180) This “superior agent” acknowledged by Jefferson is a perfect illustration of our first great idea; that of the belief in a higher power. This belief was in no means exclusive to Jefferson. It was also extremely common among the rest of our founding fathers. Colonial figureheads such as Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, John Jay, Patrick Henry, John Adams, James Madison, and Elias Boudinot often spoke very passionately about a “Divine Hand” or “Divine Providence” which they believed was guiding the American cause. On April 30, 1789, Washington remarked in his first Inaugural Address that

"No People can be bound to acknowledge and adore the invisible hand, which conducts the Affairs of men more than the People of the United States. Every step, by which they have advanced to the character of an independent nation, seems to have been distinguished by some token of providential agency." (Washington as cited in Hutson, 17)

In 1826, John Jay expanded this idea when he said, “The most effectual means of securing the continuance of our civil & religious liberties is always to remember with reverence & gratitude the source from which they flow.” (Jay as cited in Hutson, 197)

This belief of Divine Providence was so crucial in the minds of these men, that they forced Jefferson, who was not a Christian, to include it in his Declaration of Independence, “And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.” (Jefferson as cited in Hutson, 180) In 1789, while the Constitution was being ratified by the states, Benjamin Rush observed that many people were disappointed in finding no similar mention of God or his providence within the new document, and that they hoped it would be mentioned within the text of the proposed Bill of Rights. (Rush as cited in Hutson, 77)

There is a very interesting account in which Jefferson was one day walking with his large red prayer book tucked under his arm. A friend inquired of him where he was going. Jefferson told him that he was going to Church. The man told the President that he did not believe a word of it. Jefferson answered him,

"No nation has ever yet existed or been governed without religion. Nor can be. The Christian religion is the best religion that has been given to man and I as chief Magistrate of this nation am bound to give it the sanction of my example. Good morning Sir." (Allen as cited in Hutson, 193)

Why was this belief in a Christian God so important for America? It was important because of its implications. Basic Christian belief holds that Jesus Christ saved humanity from eternal separation from God through his dying on a cross; that from such an act, man can in fact spend eternity in heaven through the merits of his Redeemer Jesus Christ. It also holds that we can accept or reject that gift of salvation by the way we live. In other words, our eternal fate is determined through how we uphold the moral code founded in the scriptures.

Once in a letter to John Murray, Jr., John Jay remarked,

"The moral or natural law was given by the Sovereign of the universe to all mankind; with them it was co-eval, and with them it will be co-existent. Being founded by infinite wisdom and goodness on essential right, which never varies, it can require no amendment or alteration." (Jay as cited in Hutson, 133)

This moral law which Jay refers to is the Christian morality which, at the time, was accepted and practiced by the people. He also refers to it as the “natural law”. This term gives us further insight as to how Christian morality was then understood. As a “natural law”, these morals could be discovered and drawn upon through the use of reason. For example, it is not reasonable for a man to kill another defenseless man who shares in his human nature. If he determines that such an action is unreasonable, the action is morally wrong. Other actions, such as infidelity, were known to be morally wrong because of their natural consequences, like emotional disorder, children out of wedlock, etc. So this morality that Jay expresses in his letter, and which our founding fathers embraced, was not just a morality of faith, but also of reason. Through these observations, we arrive at our second great idea: the resolve to live a moral life.

To be continued...

Death

2007-01-03T13:10:00.000-08:00

Today, in third block, I met up with a good friend. Although she had been going through a rough time anyway, she seemed very distraught today. I asked her if anything were the matter. At first she didn't give me a clear answer. I told her that if she felt like talking, I would listen. "Matt is dead," she said with tears gathering in her eye, "My Matt. He got shot while he was on his trip. He was only eighteen." I hadn't known Matt personally, but I knew that Matt had been a very close friend to her and had helped her through some of her most difficult times. Id didn't really know how to respond to the news. It shocked me just as much.

Later at lunch, my friend said, "I just don't understand death. I hate it. It ruins everything, and it makes everyone miserable. I can't think of one person that likes it. I don't care what you say. I hate it." I assured my friend that I felt no different from her. "Death wasn't part of the plan. We were never meant to experience it, you know. But now we've got it and yeah, it does hurt, a lot."

Death is a difficult topic. It's difficult primarily because of our experience with it. Our emotions make it extremely difficult to look at death objectively. However, our emotions do reveal the evil that death, in and of itself, is. Death was never part of God's plan. In fact, God's design never included death; it was humanity's disobedience that allowed Satan to thrust the evil of death upon our world.

The reason why we can call death evil is because it is contrary to God's original design; contrary to God's goodness. When we die, our soul is separated from our body. This seperation dissolves the unity of the individual. Without the body, the soul has no matter through which it can act, and without the soul, the body is an empty shell which cannot maintain itself. That is why Catholics believe in and look forward with great anticipation to the "resurrection of the dead"; when, after the end of the world, our bodies will be reunited with our souls. In a sense, this event will be the literal undoing of death. In that moment, all the sorrow of death will turn into overwhelming joy.

We find this hope for the resurrection of our bodies in the Resurrection of Christ himself. For in his Resurrection, Christ is said to have overcome the power of death and destroyed it. In the Gospels, His resurrected body becomes a glorified body while still remaining uniquely His own. The greatest knews we have is this -- that Christ has indeed destroyed death. This should give us all immense hope. While we still must experience the evil of temporal death, we will not experience eternal death.

Death truly is an awful experience, and we should all, in a certain sense, "hate" death, but we must also understand that death is not the end now. In a very real way, death is only the beginning of something infinitely greater than what we experience on this side of the grave.

We need to make sure that we never excuse death, however. We have not the authority to take our lives or any other innocent life into our own hands. If we do, we are in a very real way jeopardizing our fate after death. This is why abortion, euthenasia, murder, suicide, and all other similar actions are so intrinsically evil. They use the evil of death as a means to complete an end. Death can never be used in this way successfully. At all costs, we must strive to convert the culture of death and not allow it to spread.

Yes, it is very true: Death hurts. But we should see death for what it is, and then look beyond death at the great promise of life. As you pray tonight, please keep Matt in your prayers. Ask our Blessed Mother to intercede for him and to request God's mercy fall upon his soul. Tonight we all together hope and pray that Matt might experience that promise of life which Christ has so lovingly won for him.

A Day for New Beginnings

2007-01-01T17:05:00.000-08:00

Dearest Blessed Mother,

Today, on this first of the year, we celebrate your feast day. Not only is it a great day of celebration, but also a great day of meaning, both for me and for the world. As I went to bed last night, I fell asleep listening to the sound of fireworks and cannons celebrating a new year. After getting back home from Mass today, my calendar fell off the wall. All this serves to remind me that today is a day of New Beginnings.

It is a day, Bleesed Mother, that is so appropriate to be celebrated in your honor. You, in your Immaculate Conception, were a New Beginning for all of humanity. Since the creation of Adam and Eve, no man had ever escaped the plague of Original Sin, which had been wrought through Adam's disobedience. You were the Beginning of God's plan for Salvation. Your God-given grace allowed us all to inherit the same grace through Baptism, a grace that would serve to sanctify faithful souls. Through this Sanctifying Grace, God would make us his family; He would make us new through the waters of Baptism, and call us His children. Yes, Mary, you were the great beginning of God's Salvation.

Today, I was privileged to see such a grace given to our new brother Nicholas John. Through Baptism, he was born again in Christ, given a New supernatural life that will allow him to inherit the kingdom. Please, Mary, intercede for him on this, your feast day. Ask God that he may grow in faithful service and Love for your Divine Son, our Commander-in-Chief.

Mother Most Kind, help me resolve to make this year a new beginning for my own soul. Help me to resolve to pray a little more, to give just a little more effort. Help me resolve to brandish myself a new sword, and to clean off my dusty armor. Give me a firm resolution to keep fixed upon my head the Helmet of Salvation, and upon my arm the gleaming Shield of Faith. Around my waist, may I resolve ever to wear the Belt of Truth, from which I may draw my sword at times I am tempted most. Mother, help me make this resolve -- that by this time next year, I may be a better Soldier than I am now.

With this renewed effort, with your continual prayers, and with the merits of Your Divine Son, I have confidence in my resolve.

Amen.

The Best of 2006

2006-12-31T19:18:00.000-08:00

With Midnight just hours away, it's time to look back at Soldier-4-Christ's first year on the web. For me, it's been a great and wonderful experience. It has taught me many lessons and has also made me confront my faith with a greater enthusiasm and courage. I only hope that it has done the same for you.

To ring in the New Year, I've arranged a special treat. Starting January 1st, the feast of The Blessed Virgin Mary, Mother of God, you'll be able to post comments after each post. Now, you'll be able to tell the world what you think about Soldier 4 Christ and ask any questions you may have had, but weren't able to ask before!

Of Course, what would New Year's Eve be without a Countdown? Below, I've selected the Top 10 posts of this past year. I hope you will take the time to look back on them with me as we travel through the best of 2006:

1) Confirmation
2) Humility: A Lesson That Takes a Lifetime
3) A Tribute
4) Saint Dominic Savio (Part 1) (Part 2)
5) In the Streets - Marching 4 Christ
6) He Ain't Heavy, Father...

7) Gaudate! Seventeen Years

8) In Defense of Abstinence

9) Prayer at Dusk

10) When Things Get Hard

Until Next Year,
May God Bless You and Our Blessed Mother protect you,
JBro

The Good News of Christmas

2006-12-26T10:10:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas, Everyone! My attempt to post something today has all but failed, so I leave you with words much better than my own...

***

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things came to be through him,
and without him nothing came to be.
What came to be through him was life,
and this life was the light of the human race;
the light shines in the darkness,
and the darkness has not overcome it.
A man named John was sent from God.
He came for testimony, to testify to the light,
so that all might believe through him.
He was not the light,but came to testify to the light.
The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.
He was in the world
and the world came to be through him,
but the world did not know him.
He came to what was his own,
but his own people did not accept him.

But to those who did accept him
he gave power to become children of God,
to those who believe in his name,
who were born not by natural generation
nor by human choice nor by a man’s decision
but of God.
And the Word became flesh
and made his dwelling among us,
and we saw his glory,
the glory as of the Father’s only Son,
full of grace and truth.
John testified to him and cried out, saying,
“This was he of whom I said,
‘The one who is coming after me ranks ahead of me
because he existed before me.’”
From his fullness we have all received,

grace in place of grace,
because while the law was given through Moses,
grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
No one has ever seen God.
The only Son, God, who is at the Father’s side,
has revealed him.

- John:1-18 -

Crunch Time!

2006-12-21T14:27:00.000-08:00

It's a phenomenon we're all familiar with.

The Calendar says it's December 21st, and a chill goes up your spine. There's only four days left until Christmas and there's a list of chores to get through. The house needs to get decorated, the cookies need to get baked, the house needs to be cleaned, the presents need to be bought, the presents need to be wrapped, the presents need to be labeled, and the presents need to find a home. And did I mention the cookies?

I think the best way to describe this last week of Advent is "Crunch Time". And don't deny it -- this kind of thing happens every year. Even if you've done all your Christmas shopping ahead of time, the friend and the dog included, you've got a million other things your trying to get done before Christmas arrives.

Here's a question for all of us on this 21st of December. Where's God on my list? Now, granted, all of these other things may be important and even seemingly necessary to a successful Christmas. If you live in my house, you're looking high and low for a tree on Christmas Eve. (And what's Christmas without a tree?) But, when it's all been said and done, it's really not about the tree, it's not about the gifts, it's not about the family time, or School Vacation, or political advertisements; it's not about the smiles, it's not about the cocoa, or the snow, or the carolling, or that warm feeling inside. When Christmas is laid bear, it's about welcoming the Savior of the world into our hearts.

During the Advent season, it can be extremely difficult to remember this. In fact, sometimes we forget about the season of Advent all together. And admittedly, that's not so hard to do. The culture is so secularized and market-oriented, that we can't entirely rid ourselves of the great many influences that threaten to lead us astray. But in these last few days remaining before Christmas; during the "Crunch Time", if you will, it's important to make that last minute effort to prepare Jesus Christ a place in our hearts.

You hear a lot of people make the comment that Christmas only comes once a year. (I never understood why, but they do say that...) This particular opportunity is offered us, therefore, only once a year as well. At Christmas, Christ wishes to be born in each of our hearts in a very special way, in a very real way. He wants it to be a time for us to grow stronger in our spiritual lives and to renew within ourselves the love which the Father imparted through him unto the whole of humanity. If we spend too much time during these last days doing other tasks, Christmas is hardly worth it at all. That's why so many people begin to wish it were over with before it's even come around!

With that said, it's time to look at our agenda. Do I have a Holy Hour planned for tomorrow or even tonight? Am I going to Mass? Will I put aside 15 extra minutes for prayer? When will I have time to pray the Joyful mysteries? Can I do a last minute good turn for someone in need? Have I carved out a time slot for reading the Infancy Narratives in Scripture?

If not, what am I waiting for? It's Crunch Time!

Updates

2006-12-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

Normally, I wouldn't devote a whole post to houskeeping, but it had to be done sooner or later. In case you haven't noticed, Blogger has been updated from its "beta" version. There's a slight change in the interface, but I've tried to keep the layout pretty much the same.

Check out the sidebar for a load of new features. It's a lot easier to browse the Archives now, and I've added an "Add to Google" link that will allow you to see new posts on your Google Homepage. I've also added a mail-to link which you can use to email me any comments or concerns you may have about the site. If you have the chance, please do consider sending me an email telling me what you like or dislike about the blog and ways I can make it even better!

The final item I will point out is the updated "Links" section. I'm sure at least some of you have noticed that it has grown slightly. In your spare time, I would encourage you to explore some of the sites.

Please do continue to check in every now and then and browse through the recent posts. Also, please continue to recommend this blog to friends and family. I am indebted to you all for your enthusiasm in this collection of ramblings. May God continue to use them for His greater glory, and in order to spread His Good News to those who need it most.

Until next time,
May God Bless You and Our Blessed Mother protect you,

JBro

From the Archives: Desiring the Truth

2006-12-19T19:09:00.000-08:00

This was an essay I wrote on January 28, 2005:

* * *

Thucydides tells us in the introduction to his book that “People are inclined to accept all stories of ancient times in an uncritical way.” This statement is then proved through the instance of which Athens believed that Hipparchus was their tyrant in past history, and because of their unwavering view, they failed to see that Hippias, being the elder brother, was the true tyrant.

Thucydides lived in a generation very different from ours. His aphorism, although possibly true in his circumstance, is certainly not applied in the standard by which the American people follow. In fact, his statement of acceptance is totally opposed by modern skepticism. Today, people are inclined to challenge any older, readily accepted stories in a critical manner.

Such people are the historians, who are always searching for possible ways to put the pieces of their unending jigsaw puzzle together. They are constantly challenging the discoveries of their predecessors as archaeology uncovers new items. As a result, stories such as how the Egyptian pyramids were created have countless theories.

Perhaps the worst case of this skepticism is when it is used against Christianity. Especially in the region of Biblical stories, historians are now rising up to explain all these extraordinary events to show how “natural” they really are. Special features on the Discovery channel range from topics such as “The Hidden Years of Christ” to “Ramases: Wrath of God, or Man?” And who knew the star of Bethlehem was really a planet?

For as long as mankind has existed, humans have always attested to the fact of a supreme being. It is not so now. Now, through the diligence of science, many people believe we have thrown out the mysteries of supernatural “nonsense”. Yet, now through the definition of science, the human race, as well as the rest of the universe, has been degraded to a mere accident.

Thucydides shows us that finding the truth is what is most important. Regardless of the tendencies of whether people accept what has been previously accepted, or reject what has been previously accepted, the goal ultimately has to be to find the truth. Once truth is found, though, it needs to be recognized as such. Being over ambitious to contradict what one has learned, or being satisfied with a false doctrine is not a pursuit for the truth, and therefore is not a justifiable action. I sincerely hope America will slow down one of these days, so that it can read the speed limit. If not, it’s sure to crash.

END

From the Archives: The Crown of Salvation History

2006-12-18T19:14:00.000-08:00

This was my Second Quarter Theology Essay during Freshman year. I wrote it on February 15, 2005:

* * *

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth… Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness…’ And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, ‘You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall die.’… But the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will not die.’… So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food… she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate… Then the Lord God said to the woman, ‘What is this that you have done?’ The women said, ‘The serpent beguiled me, and I ate it.’ The Lord God said to the serpent…’I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.’ Therefore, the Lord God sent [man] forth from the Garden of Eden, to till the ground from which he was taken.”

Genesis, the first book of the Old Testament, chronicles the devastating fall of man from the grace of God. Yet, even from the beginning, the promise of a redeemer is revealed. Genesis then goes on to show how God calls Abraham. Abraham then raises his son Isaac, who becomes the father of Jacob. Jacob has twelve sons, one being Joseph, who is disliked by his fellow brothers and secretly sold into slavery in Egypt. There, he comes into the favor of the pharaoh and is appointed governor. Through his ability to interpret dreams, he keeps Egypt safe from famine, and invites his father and brothers to live with him in Egypt. There, the twelve tribes of Israel flourish and multiply until the Egyptians enslave them.

Then, from the house of Levi, a child named Moses is put in a basket on the river to avoid having him killed by pharaoh’s soldiers. He is found by pharaoh’s daughter and raised as a prince of Egypt. He eventually discovers his identity and flees Egypt. When he encounters God one day on Mt. Sinai, he is told to go back to Egypt and convince pharaoh to let the Israelites go. Moses then leads the people out of Egypt and establishes a covenant with God. The people are led to Canaan where they flourish once again.

There, God chooses King Saul to lead the Israelites, and after him, David of the house of Jesse. Many years later, the kings and priests of Israel start to forget the covenant they established with God, and as a result of their sins, their country is destroyed and they are enslaved in Babylon. Forty years later they return and rebuild their country after being freed from Babylon by the conquest of King Cyrus. Then, in the years that follow the country is overtaken by the Roman Empire. After a census is ordered by the emperor, a young couple arrives in Bethlehem to be enrolled, and there the woman gives birth to a baby boy.

All that happened in the Old Testament was in preparation of the Savior. God chose his people. He pledged himself to them. He set down his laws. Jesus’ teachings were the completion of what God had done. Jesus completed the Law of Moses, fulfilled the prophecies of the prophets, and conquered the breach of sin that separated us from heaven. By gradually introducing himself to mankind, God revealed himself and won salvation, through his people Israel, for the world.

Throughout this salvation history, there have been numerous signs and prophecies regarding the climax of God’s plan. In the desert, when Moses lifted the snake on a branch, God was revealing the plan for his Son. The prophets and psalms predict the life, death, passion, and resurrection of a Savior to come. Isaiah prophecies the Virgin birth of Jesus. Michaes affirms the divinity of the one to come. In almost every book of the Old Testament, there is a foreshadowing of the completion of God’s plan.

Jesus, then, is the crown and fulfillment of the Old Testament. Now that he has come, God has freed us from the yoke of sin and given us the fullness of his revelation.

END

Gaudate! Seventeen Years

2006-12-17T08:50:00.000-08:00

Yesteday was my 17th birthday. I spent six hours of it at work and seven more working on a research paper. And yet, despite all the day's agrivations and inconveniences, I experienced an amazing peace in my soul. As I persevered in my work, I could not help but meditate on the many blessings God has given me in just seventeen years.

He has given me a wonderful family, three younger siblings, and two very devoted parents. Through them he has enlightened me with the gift of faith. He has saved me through Baptism, healed me through Reconciliation, and fed me through Holy Communion. He has poured forth his special graces through Confirmation, and taught my soul to be brave.

He has given me many talents: in music, in writing, and in understanding; and he continually shows me how I may glorify him through them. He has blessed me with a wonderful pastor and spiritual director, who is patient and understanding. He has given me challenges that I might grow, temptations that I might resist, and freedom that I might choose him.

He has given me friends to uphold me, leaders to guide me, role s to inspire me. He has graced me with precious moments, tearful memories, and future aspirations. He has given me continual success and continuiual assistance in all I do.

All of this he has given me in seventeen short years. It is so overwhelming, that I cannot even fathom the blessings of the next seventeen.

Today is Gaudate Sunday. Gaudete is a plural Latin imperative translated "(All of you,) Rejoice!" We are reminded of this rejoicing by the lighting of the pink candle on our advent wreaths. We rejoice because we are drawing near to the coming of the Infant Jesus at Christmas. Even if we feel sad or weighted down, we can lift to God our thanks for his many blessings and adore him for who He is. That is true worship; that is true rejoicing.

Today, let us resolve to look back upon our years and try to count the many blessings God has given us. When we can no longer count, we will have entered into authentic rejoicing, for we will be forced to admit to God that he has done more for us than we can ever understand. With such rejoicing, we can look with hope upon the days to come, and we will grow in joy at the anticipation of the Divine Guest who is already knocking at the doors of our hearts.

A Prayer for Tonight

2006-12-15T18:49:00.000-08:00

Father,

Another night I find myself almost too busy to pull away and come to you here. That just goes to show you how messed up my priorities are, Lord. Help me to straighten them out. Father, again, let me tell you how much I love you, and how much more I need to love you. I need only to think of the great patience you have for me in times like these when I can so easily forget about you, and busy my mind with much more trivial matters. If I but had that love, if I wasn’t so worried about getting some assistance through the mere 5 minutes of prayer I devote to you when I have a favor to ask!

I think about that, Father. Prayer isn’t so much about getting anything. It’s really about giving you do worship and asking for the grace to adore you in all of my routine and perhaps mundane daily activities. And what patience that will take, Father! What effort that will take to achieve! But in your goodness, Lord, you have provided me with all that I need in order to begin, and to continue perfecting such a prayer all the days of my life.

And so, Father, I offer up to you this crazy schedule, this hectic lifestyle. May it somehow work to give you glory. I lift it up as a living sacrifice, a prayer burning with the emotions of my daily interactions, conversations, efforts, and frustrations. I ask only that you help me overcome my sinful habits in return, so that one day, I can live entirely for you, a day on which this living prayer can be made perfect.

Amen.

From the Archives: Where to Point the Finger

2006-12-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

This is a paper I wrote on October 17, 2004 during the Greek Literature course which I took my freshman year.

* * *

When we are young, a typical response when we are caught doing something wrong is that “it’s not my fault”. When we grow older, instead of dropping the habit, we usually find new ways of saying it; more sophisticated and convincing ways of lifting the blame off our shoulders. No matter what we say or how we say it, though, it is still our fault, and is our responsibility to be accountable.

This brings about the necessity of understanding “fault”. Fault is defined as “responsibility for [a] mistake or offense; culpability”. So basically, if I did it, it’s my fault.

In most instances, though, it’s not that easy. Time is like a tree. Once a person makes a certain decision, it usually leads to another choice, resolved in another decision and so forth. In cases like this, who’s at “fault” for a certain action is usually heavily debated. What was the cause; the original decision, or the last, the strongest conclusion, or the weakest? If we can’t agree on who caused it, how can we agree on whose fault it is?

I think the solution here would be best explained with an example. We have a problem in America today. Millions of unborn children are ed legally under the government. Who’s to blame for this? Can we dare say that it was our founding fathers’ fault because of a defective construction of the constitution? Was the fault with Roe for arguing in favor of abortion? Was it the Supreme Court’s fault, for their decision on legalizing abortion? Who’s to blame? It surely couldn’t be the founding fathers. They did as much as they could to make this country morally sound, and although Roe pushed for abortion, she didn’t make it legal. That leaves one more candidate: the Supreme Court. Among all those who made it possible up to this point, it was in their decision to make abortion legal that the fault lies because they were responsible for making it legal. Therefore, it is necessary to inflict the full blame, not on those who made the event possible, but on those who carried it out, for many times the final result was not the objective of those who first made it possible.

You can also prove the above in another way. If the Supreme Court had never agreed to make abortion legal, there would be no problem, and therefore no one to blame, neither our founding fathers nor Roe. Even if Roe did not speak up the way she did, the overall issue of legalizing abortion probably would not have been resolved. Briefly concluding, the Supreme Court was responsible for the “yes” or “no”, and therefore is accountable for their answer.

In Homer’s story The Iliad, Achilles, the Achaians’ best warrior stays away from the battle and prays for the enemy’s success because of a grudge with Agamemnon, the king of the Achaians. When the Achaians are losing the battle, and many are dying, Patroclus, servant of Achilles asks permission to fight among the Achaians and give them a chance. Achilles grants his request and sends him out to battle with a prayer, but Patroclus never returns.

Who is responsible for Patroclus’ ? At first glance we would point the finger at Achilles, who brought about the need for Patroclus through his stubbornness, and then let him go into battle. This is not so. The truth is, that it is Patroclus’ own fault, for it was, in the end, his choice to go into battle or not. It was his “yes” or “no” that would have made the difference between and life. He is responsible.

So, even as Adam said “no” to God, and is responsible for our fallen race, so it is with us when we choose between “yes” and “no” – we alone can be held responsible.

END

From the Archives: Simply Happy

2006-12-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

This was one of my very first papers in History during Freshman Year. I wrote it on September 19, 2004.

“Great wealth can make a man no happier than moderate means… Many very rich men have been fortunate, and many with a modest competence have had good luck.” These words of wisdom were addressed to Croesus, king of Lydia, by Solon, the Athenian.

Solon, one of the seven wise men, had previously made a code of laws for Athens upon request of his fellow countrymen. At the time of his former statement, he was out of Athens, traveling for a ten year period in order to avoid having to repeal any of his new laws. He was also using this time to break free of his homeland and explore the world.

Upon coming to the country of Lydia, Solon, known for his wisdom, was asked by the king to tell him who the happiest man he’d ever met was. Solon gave two examples of average common folk who had died honorable s. At this, Croesus demanded to know of his own happiness. Solon answered by conveying that when an appetite is filled, it often meets tragedy; that where there is immense wealth, there is often war. He says also that those who never know such pleasures, will never know such consequences, and therefore will live and die simply, but without regret.

We can infer therefore that those who live simply and are thankful for what they have are those who will be the most happy of all. Those who seek power or muddle in affairs they cannot handle, are often led to grief. In The Histories, the kingdom of Lydia later falls, and Croesus’s rule ceases; when Cyrus conquers so much of the world, he dies before the hands of a woman; and for not achieving Astayages’s will, Harpagus eats his son’s flesh. These are all examples of unhappiness.

So who is happy? The first character in Herodotus’s The Histories that comes to mind is Solon himself. By using his own formula, we can see that Solon is not exactly rich, but rather contains great knowledge. He owns little, yet he has the whole world to explore. Such a man is respected not by his position, but by his stature of the mind. Solon uses his knowledge for the good of others, both in his code of laws and in his personal advice. His life is simple, not involved in conquest, but in peace, and he works not only for himself but for the good of others.
Of course, using Solon’s own formula, we find that we cannot know his true happiness until takes him. Most others in the first chapter of The Histories die a gruesome , brought about by an earlier evil deed in their lives. Although I am uncertain of Solon’s , I am sure in my thinking that it was a peaceful one, and that we can conclude his life as being “simply happy”.

END

From the Archives: The Art of Wasting Money

2006-12-12T11:57:00.000-08:00

Moving on from eighth grade, I thought we'd start off freshman year on the lighter side. Here's an interesting essay I wrote for English on January 12, 2005. Hint: There is a moral to this...

While we’re young and without too many responsibilities, a common activity among both children and teens is obtaining the many treasures we long for; toys, CDs, movies, software, and collectables. Normally, gift-giving events such as Christmas or birthday celebrations are great ways to get what we crave; but not all that we crave. Therefore, the resulting method of acquiring our dream gear is through our own hard-earned money.

The first step is getting money. Unfortunately, money is hard to get your hands on when you’re young, so you have to be diligent. First, count up the value of what you have in cash, gift cards, and change. Then trade in your gift cards and excess change for cash. This will allow you to keep track of your savings easier. From there, find the amount of money you need, and get to work around the house. Remember, no job is too dirty, too embarrassing, or too big. You need that money for your super duper item! It’s also good to make sure ahead of time whether you’ll get paid for a particular job or not.

Once you’ve got the money, you still have to work your way through the parental barrier. After asking for jobs around the house, your parents are sure to know you’re scheming. When you approach them to ask for permission to buy what you want, you need to have a good explanation in mind, or a good deal to propose in return. Some parents do not easily respond in a positive manner. If they say “no”, then you must resort to a moderate begging, but ONLY as a last resort, because it can have devastating effects. If you do it right, though, you’ll finally get a green light.

It’s always best if you throw away your money wisely. Look for good deals in various stores, magazines, or on the web. Somewhere, the product you want will be available for less. It only takes a couple days of browsing, and the result is very rewarding: what you want for less!There’s nothing quite like finally holding the thing you’ve always wanted once it’s yours. Of course, that feeling has a limited warranty. So get ready. Once the next “latest and greatest” arrives, you’ll be smashing your piggy banks all over again.

END

From Kindergarten

2006-12-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

When I was President of the Student Council in the eighth grade, we went from grade to grade putting together Marian prayers/poems/art to which each person from the class contributed. I requested kindergarten, and from their simple thoughts, I compiled this inspiring prayer:

Hail Mary full of Grace!

You love us and we love you. You are our Mother and you are always there for us. You always want to be nice to us and help us, just like you took care of Jesus. We want to show you what we have and give you a present, some flowers from us. Help us know how you could be Jesus’ mother, why you said, “Yes” to the Angel, and why you love us so much.

Ave Maria!

CD Review: Undone (MercyMe)

2006-12-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

Album Art:
MercyMe has always impressed me. From the first time I heard their music on KLOVE, I have been moved to reflection and prayer. Released in 2004, there is not a single track in this album that the listener cannot directly relate to. Although MercyMe is known as a Christian rock band, its music is much more passionate than heavy. All 13 tracks have catchy tunes with solid messages, performed in a way only MercyMe could have successfully pulled off:

1. Where You Lead Me
2. Everything Impossible
3. Here With Me
4. In The Blink Of An Eye
5. Unaware
6. Homesick
7. When You Spoke My Name
8. A Million Miles Away
9. Caught Up In The Middle
10. Never Alone
11. Undone
12. Shine On
13. Keep Singing

There's no wrong time to listen to Undone. In fact, I have found that in most every situation it helps to inspire me and raise my thoughts to Christ, provoking prayer and reflection. However, I like to listen to this album especially at the end of the day, before turning in for some sleep. It helps me think about my day and how I've handled it.

'In the Blink of an Eye' is without a doubt the most popular song in this album. You will not get through an entire day listening to a Christian Radio Station without hearing this song. It has an amazing melody and a driving rhythm. The lyrics ponder the brevity of this life, and how we are to fulfill ourselves in such a short amount of time: "Time will fly, but until then / I'll embrace every moment I'm given / There's a reason I'm alive for a blink of an eye" That little reminder that life has a meaning can be extremely helpful when you most need to hear it.

'Undone' is a testimony each of us learns to sing; an acknowledgement of the great Savior which Jesus Christ is for us: "To the cross I run / Holding high my chains undone / Now I am finally free / Free to be what I've become / Undone / Hallelujah I'm undone!" Through this song's softer melody, we are reminded of the freedom which has been given to us and prompted to take heart in such knowledge.

'A Million Miles Away' is another great song with a bit of a swing to it. This song is a genuine reflection on how close we are in the mind and heart of God: "And I'm so amazed that I / Am always on Your mind // I believe that You're always here with me / You're everywhere but still within my reach" As you listen to the lyrics, you are stirred with a wonderful knowledge of God's immense love for you as an individual, that he would keep you in his consciousness for all eternity and not grow weary of you.

'Everything Impossible' is a fun song, one you'll want to play over and over again. It's lyrics are equally intriguing. We all get to a point where we just can't explain things any further, and although it mistifies us, we know we can only find these Truths in Christ: "All the things that make no sense to me, draw me to You / Like finding freedom by surrendering, can it be true / With everything I can and cannot know / This mystery is bringing life to me" Isn't that so true?

The best song of this album has a much milder and more contemplative melody which builds from a piano's quiet chords to the passionate rhythm of a drumset. 'Unaware' is the song of the redeemed, a song of awe and un-matched praise. It is a song straight from the heart, a prayer from the depths of the soul: "Forgive me if I stare / But I am taken back / That You would let me here / Regardless of my past / Oh my hands are shaking now / But I catch my breathe somehow / Oh, I am free at last" The energy and immense character of this song cannot even be aptly described here. It is a song for all times, all places, and all moods; a song of authentic worship.

I have to give this album at least a nine out of ten. Picking up any MercyMe album is a good choice, but this album is probably their very best. Besides being undeniably appealing, the music sends strong messages in the form of a prayer. This is one album that should be in your home collection before any other. I guarantee that it will be pulled out again and again.

He Ain't Heavy, Father...

2006-12-09T17:48:00.000-08:00

...He's my Brother.

Today, I had the great privilege to serve Mass for the first time with my eight-year old brother Joseph. He did a great job. As he came into the Sacristy to vest up, I couldn't but help stifle a chuckle. He was beaming. As he explained to me what we were doing, I helped him with his surplace which he had thrown on in a hasty fashion. Father came in from his few moments of meditation on the altar and greeted us with a few jokes. It didn't take long for him to make that smile grow even broader. Grabbing the processional cross, I told Joseph that we'd go back to the vestibule. Just like that, he shot out of the Sacristy and raced down the aisle, heading for the back of the church. I nearly had to run to keep up. It was in the vestibule that he finally began to get nervous. He turned to me about two minutes prior to Mass and told me he "really didn't feel good."

I thought back to my first day serving Mass. It was on December 8, 1998, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I had been observing for about 4 months. On that particular day, my partner had not shown up. Instead of looking for someone else, Father found it in his heart to let me serve by myself. I remembered that feeling of excitement and nervousness nearly making me sick as well.

I told Joseph he'd be okay, but he didn't believe me. When Father came into the vestibule, he saw how nervous Joseph was. He came over and gave him a genuinely sincere pep-talk. I think that helped. And so Mass began and Joseph settled in nicely. He did everything with confidence and mildly contained excitement. After Mass, he enthusiatically performed all the tasks left to be done.

There was something special about that time with him today. I saw something in him I really enjoyed. It also made me realize how little time I actually spend with him. Most times I just holler at him to get lost because he's making too much noise or asking me to do something I don't want to do. So few times I actually realize that this time with him is passing away.

In the spirit of Advent, I think it is fair to ask ourselves just how much time we give to our families. Our time with them is passing away. They won't be there forever. Our lives will take us in different directions. Some lives may even end; some very abruptly. Do we seek to form friendships with them that will last, sacrificing our own time and expense for their good? By making a better effort to do so, we are better preparing our hearts for the fast-approaching season of Christmas. If we make a greater effort to love our families, we in turn learn how to better love God -- through selflessness and friendship.

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

2006-12-08T14:56:00.001-08:00

Each year on December 8th, the Church celebrates the feast of The Immaculate Conception. The Church has deemed it a holy day of obligation, requiring that we attend Mass.

Most people don't understand why this feast is so important. Most people don't even know what we celebrate today. Most people think it to be the day on which Jesus was conceived inside the womb of the Blessed Mother. Although that's a good guess, it's wrong. Today, we celebrate the conception of Mary.

What makes Mary's conception so unique is the fact that she was Immaculately conceived -- that is to say she was conceived without stain of original sin. From the moment we are conceived; from the moment our human soul is joined with a uniquely physical human identity, we bear a fallen nature. The entire human race suffers from the original sin of Adam, his disobedience to God. We all inherit this original sin because we all share in the humanity of Adam; we all misuse our free will. This sin of Adam not only had temporal consequences such as and physical pain, but also an eternal consequence. In our disobedience, we could no longer be fully united with our Creator. The gates of heaven were closed off from the human race. God's perfection could no longer bear our imperfection.

This is why baptism is the first sacrament we receive. Without baptism, without the cleansing of our souls from this original sin, the gates of heaven are still closed to us. It is through baptism that the merits of Jesus Christ are brought to fruition; for in that sacrament, we are given sanctifying grace, a grace that allows us to stand in the presence of the Most Holy One, a grace that throws wide the gates of heaven to our souls.

When Mary was conceived, however, she was conceived without such a stain on her soul. Mary, unlike any other son of Adam or daughter of Eve, was born in the state of sanctifying grace. Often when I thought of this as a young child, I thought it unfair that God should hand out special treatment. Even later on, it was hard to reconcile the fact that God was doing something against his nature by creating Mary in such a way, but not so. You see, this gift which God graced Mary with was not only for Mary's sake; He gave it to her in order that through her He might bring forth His Son into the world and win back to man the salvation lost him since the moment of Adam's fall.

That is why this feast is such a special one. Through this Immaculate Conception, God completed His final task in preparing his plan of redemption.

Mary herself, having been given such a great privilege, did not make light of it. Never once in her life did she sin. I don't know about you, but I can't even fathom that. I cannot imagine one day without at least failing in some way, let alone a lifetime. But Mary did live her life without sin, and she did so with the profound humility, second only to Christ himself. What a wonderful role Mary is to us. What a powerful intercessor she is for us. What a maternal love she has for us, that she would agree to be the mother of our salvation. It is no wonder that from the cross, Christ so willingly gave all of us to her as children. Now, she carries on that special role, enjoying the union of body and soul in heaven where she brings our requests to the loving heart of Our Redeemer.

Ave Maria!

From the Archives: Responsibility of a Catholic Citizen

2006-12-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

The last essay of this week's "Archive Trilogy" was written on April 7, 2004. I think it very appropriate to post on the Vigil of the Immaculate Conception:

“Be not afraid!” These three simple words were Pope John Paul’s first as the official Bishop of Rome. If we allow them, they can stir our hearts, and even move mountains. By saying this, the pope means to tell us that in our daily routines we are to go forth living our lives in the truth that God gives us. No matter what happens God will be watching over us.

As Americans, as citizens of a free society, we are blessed to be given the chance to stand up for the Truth. It is our responsibility to act in God’s law and to stand up in defense of what is right. Today, many people echo Pilate’s question to Jesus and obnoxiously ask, “What is truth?” They may throw it aside as belief or myth, but what does Jesus say? He says, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” By doing God’s will, we are learning His Truth.

During this age of our country, it is extremely important to make known the precious gift of life. Each day, thousands upon thousands of poor defenseless human beings are killed. These unborn babies are the result of the “right of choice.” Without life, though, unborn children cannot attain any of their own rights at all. I cannot help asking as to how we can allow this practice of abortion to be legal under the very constitution that guarantees the right to life for all.

As Catholics it is our duty to faithfully protect the right to life everyone has: from the youngest unborn child to the oldest senior. All have a right to life and the chance to grow in God’s love. Life is not a toy. You cannot experiment with it or take it apart to make something better. Life is God’s ultimate gift. Through a man and a woman joined in the holy sacrament of marriage, a new child can be brought up with guidance, good example, and education.

It is never enough just to say you are pro-life and declare your beliefs as a Catholic. As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” We have to prove to those around us, to God, and even to ourselves that we are who we claim to be. We can do this best by first embracing the moral teachings of the Church and listening to the longing for Truth inside of us.

The best gift we can give back to God is to be faithful to what God orders of us in our society. By casting our vote for the right political leader, by protesting against abortion, and making ourselves heard is a good start. People who are brought up in a pro-choice atmosphere will not understand its evil. To pass on to others the Truth, we need to open our mouths and let them hear our side of the matter.

Besides getting involved politically, we need to form our personal lives to support our belief in life. By avoiding relations before marriage it is easier to avoid the “fallback option” of abortion. By treating the elderly with respect and dignity we become able to revere life at all of its stages. By trying to see Jesus in every person we meet, we can be sure of the right to life everyone has as a child of God.

After all this, there is one thing that every Catholic is obliged to do no matter what: pray. Prayer is referred to as the raising of the mind and heart to God. Through prayer, God’s grace can be channeled to those who need His grace most. By asking for a deeper understanding of His Truths, and seeking grace for those who need help in choosing life, we can help more than we could ever try through physical action.

As a Catholic, my life is one of the most precious things I have. Every morning, as I get up, I know I am still here because God loves me that much. I want others to know this feeling too. Without my life, I would be nothing, and as a Catholic I know that my duty is to respond as best I can to every unborn child’s frail, helpless plea: “Let me live.”

END

From the Archives: My Meditation

2006-12-06T11:44:00.000-08:00

While I'm digging through the archives, here's a short meditation that I wrote on February 23, 2004. I imagine it must have been an religion assignment. Whatever the case, it is still very appropriate for our advent preparation:

You are on a journey. The memory of your first step is a dream now, drowned off in a sea of crunching leaves. It is cold and damp. You realize you are lost. Everywhere around you, darkness seeps through the air like a deadly poison settling all about you. The leaves have dropped out of knowledge behind you to reveal a thick mud, ready to ensnare you if you dare cease your stride. Thick trunks bar each side of the path: cold and daunting. Overhead, the starless sky is scarred with wooden fingers swaying all about, lunging at you every time the wind shrieks. Why have you come? Did you believe that you would find someone; this Redeemer of great love? Is this one person worth what you have given to find him? Could you not have stayed at home and been better off, warm and safe?

Dread has come over you. The weight of the air is pressing upon your heart. Strange noises fill the air and you are terrified. You cannot stop walking, and you cannot stop the sleepless night. You walk on.

Soon you see a shape ahead: an old bent man, caped in a calm gray. You manage to shout something toward him as you advance, yet you are not truly frightened. As you walk closer, you see he is wounded, oddly enough. You struggle with yourself as he draws ever closer. What will you do? Will you let him have his doom or will you give him a chance?

Your heart is pounding. The terror of this place may have finally overtaken you. You begin to shake all over, and you know that your will is fading. With a final resolve, you force yourself to go to the man and give a last service.

As you walk toward the man, you notice your heart at rest once more, and a new feeling of warmth inside. You feel your pace almost quicken with new firmness in the ground. After a few paces you halt. The man’s face is covered in shadow. “What have you come for?” asks the man. You ignore his question and ask if he is hurt. He asks again, “What have you come for?” Seeing you must answer, you tell him you are lost now and whatever you came for does not matter now. He asks a third time, as gently as the first. You finally answer, “I came to find One of Great Love.” At this statement, the old man seemed to grow taller and younger. Wordless you see him raise his cloak to behold the gentle face of Our Loving Savior. The darkness around you creeps away and the sun comes up. The branches begin to bloom and grass springs up from the earth. As you look around you hear him say, “And you have found him, my beloved child.”

He begins to talk with you as he motions for you to sit with him. He tells you that you are truly loved, and that he will always love you. He recalls many moments in your life that he has blessed you. What are those moments? How do they make you feel? Will you tell him how much you love him? Will you thank him; will you praise him? Let him know how you feel.
Jesus bids you farewell and transports you back to your school classroom. As he stands next to you, he tells you once more that he loves you. You ask how you can remember His love. He says, “Whenever you see my image on a cross, know that each thorn that was plunged into my head was in reparation for one of your sins, so that you could enter heaven one day.” With that he leaves you and you are alone with your friends.

END

From the Archives: An Appreciation

2006-12-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

This is an essay I wrote in eighth grade about Catholic Schools. It's kind of funny to read now, but it is all the same very true. The irony of it is that I eventually ended up in a public school.

* * *

Every school, be it big or small, educates young minds to prepare them for the world ahead. Whichever school you end up in, you can be sure that you will find a math class, a literature class, an English class, a science class, and so on. Each school has its difference; what sets it apart from others. Unfortunately, public schools have overlooked a very important subject matter that lies untaught in so many peoples’ lives: their faith.

Catholic schools help correct a small portion of this problem. They institute a seed of faith in each child’s mind. Every year it is carefully cared for, sprinkled with knowledge and fed with assurance of hope. This helps to trigger a deeper respect for one’s religion and induces a better understanding of how to exercise their rights. This helps to see the truth much more clearly. Yes, the truth; the one item that is dissolved throughout so many material imaginations; the truth that there is more beyond our greedy fingertips. It is the truth that tells us there is a higher authority, known as God, who wants us to please him not only by performing good works, but by holding good intention, and defending his divine authority. Public schools take away the right to our freedom of religion, forcing us to keep silent, promoting a secular and sometimes immoral environment that give rise to several controversial issues such as abortion and the likes. At a Catholic school, students are prompted to choose their religion wisely and make it their own so that they can be proud of it in the face of the world. It is never uncommon to hear a prayer being said during class, for the benefit of a loved one, for guidance during the day, or in petition of the nation. Debates set in class help the students realize that we need to make a difference and voice our beliefs to help the nation grow. Religious education helps to further one’s devotion to God and his understanding of love for another. Aside from religion, Catholic schools offer a teacher to student environment with a very disciplinary rule that gets their students ready for a great start in their own careers. They offer sporting activities and many skills that are beneficial not only for a while but for a lifetime.

I am an eighth grader now. Being in the Catholic School I have attended for nine years, I have grown in athletics, my leadership, my academics, and most importantly faith. I appreciate my school most of all because of my right to talk freely on matters of my Catholic Religion. In fact, I talk so much; I don’t believe I’d last one day in a public school. I cannot say how wonderful it is to have the chance to speak in behalf of God’s eternal truth and to not be denied the very right that I am assured to have been given.

END

O come, O come, Emmanuel

2006-12-04T18:58:00.000-08:00

Not only a great advent song, but a great meditation:

O COME, O come, Emmanuel,
and ransom captive Israel,
that morns in lonely exile here
until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, Thou Wisdom, from on high,
and order all things far and nigh;
to us the path of knowledge show,
and teach us in her ways to go.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, o come, Thou Lord of might,
who to thy tribes on Sinai's height
in ancient times did give the law,
in cloud, and majesty, and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, Thou Rod of Jesse's stem,
form ev'ry foe deliver them
that trust Thy mighty power to save,
and give them vict'ry o'er the grave.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, Thou Key of David, come,
and open wide our heav'nly home,
make safe the way that leads on high,
that we no more have cause to sigh.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, Thou Dayspring from on high,
and cheer us by thy drawing nigh;
disperse the gloomy clouds of night
and 's dark shadow put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

O COME, Desire of the nations, bind
in one the hearts of all mankind;
bid every strife and quarrel cease
and fill the world with heaven's peace.
Rejoice! Rejoice! O Israel,
to thee shall come Emmanuel!

Translation by T. Helmore (1811-1890), J. M. Neale (1818-1866) and others.

Prayer at the End of a Long Day

2006-12-03T19:17:00.000-08:00

Father in heaven,

Sometimes You seem so far away. On nights like tonight when the day has been long, and I am tired, it seems impossible to pray. Help me to try. I tell myself I can't pray, but I know in the depths of my heart that it's merely an excuse, an excuse that keeps me from risking a relationship with You. Yes, Lord, a relationship with You risks a lot. A relationship with You demands radical changes in my life; changes I would rather not be inconvenienced with.

And when I do make that effort, Lord; when I sincerely try to give You myself through prayer, there always seems to come a day when I fall, when I have to stand before you with shame and regret knowing that you have cried right along with me. Lord, I hate that fall. It makes me want to give up. It makes me second-guess You; my shame blinds me from Your Love. And without that Love, the things of this world begin to appeal to me more and more; but in my partaking of such things, I am left feeling even more empty than before.

So Lord, help me to pray. Help me to learn how to pray. Help me to pray when I fall. Help me learn just how much You still love me, how forgiving Your eyes truly are, and how ready You are to help me get back up again and do even better. It's going to be hard. It's not going to be easy. It may even hurt a little, but I know how very much I need to. Lord, teach me to pray.

Today, Your Church begins its Advent Season, four weeks to prepare for the birth of Your Son. Help me resolve this day to devote a special time each day of this season to You; to set time aside in order that I might better prepare my heart to meet the Christ Child on that great day of rejoicing. O Lord, teach me to pray. Show me how I may best seek You as I set forth on this pilgrimage of prayer, following the Star of Truth, searching for the One who is Love itself.